“I’m about to lose my virginity,” I whispered to myself, excitement stirring heat in my stomach again. I couldn’t help myself; I did a little dance that probably looked more like someone having a seizure, but I didn’t care because I was alone, and I was about to have sex!
Max Kalinski was about to get laid.
About ten minutes later, as I stood naked in front of the toilet, I realized Icouldn’tdo it. Even the excitement of finally getting laid wasn’t helping my rampant thoughts about the uncleanliness of douching. The point of this was to getclean, but my mind was an unstoppable force that reminded me how dirty this would be before the actual spotless part came.
“Fuck.” I stared down at my naked body awkwardly, the water-filled douche clutched in my hand as though it was a weapon. “I can’t do this.”
Shaking my head, I started pacing. I spent a lot of time walking a small circle in an attempt to talk myself out of my apprehension. It never usually worked, however, and now was no different.
Dirty, my stupid mind supplied. If it was an actual person, I’d imagine it smirking, like one of those villains from a cheap movie.Dirty and unclean and full of germs. Do you really want to stick that in your body?
“It was new,” I muttered to myself. “In the package.”
But still dirty. You’ll need to stick it in your hole, squeeze all that water up there.
I lowered myself onto the toilet and stared at the douche pitifully. I wanted this,neededit, why did it have to be so hard?
“I can do this. I need to douche to get laid.” Staring at it harder, I hoped that my mind would shut up and it would all be okay. I’d just stick it up there—
I groaned. “I can’t do this.”
A knock made me jump and my gaze shot to the door. “Max, is everything all right?”
My shoulders slumped forward and I sighed, squeezing the bright blue ball connected to the douche to see some of the water shoot out of the nozzle and onto the floor. “We can’t have sex.”
“Why not? Can I come in?” He didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he opened the door and stepped in, and I took a moment to appreciate him in his tight black underwear, the perfect kind of clothing to cup his cock, like it worshipped the meaty flesh.
Fuck, I wasn’t getting that cock now.
“What’s wrong?” He stepped closer and knelt in front of me, and I resisted the urge to tell him to get up. I wasn’t a germaphobe, I didn’t wash my hands a million times before and after doing a task, and I didn’tfussover germs, but I likedclean and organized. After douching was clean, during it wasn’t.
My cheeks and neck flared with heat and I passed him the douche. “I can’t do it.”
His eyebrows knitted together, and he touched my knee, squeezing it reassuringly. I didn’t care that I sat there in the raw, my half-hard dick on display for him. “Why not?”
I dropped my head in my hands and groaned. “It’s stupid.”
“Try me,” he said in a way that actually made me feel comfortable enough to look at him. His face was pleasantly gentle and reassuring, and I smiled.
“Douching is not clean. It’s messy. I know it’s messy so my ass becomes clean, but it’s messy during the process of douching.” I took a deep breath. “I can’t do it.”
He smiled and my heart skipped a beat. Cupping a palm against my cheek, he caressed my skin with his thumb, and my body relaxed under his touch. I always felt like a wind-up toy, but over the past day, he’d changed everything. The annoying boss who made my job hell had somehow calmed me.
“Are you saying you can’t do something, Kalinski? That’s a first,” he teased. I glared at him, making him laugh. “Let me help you.”
My eyes widened and I tried to shuffle away from him, but he tightened his hold on my knee. “What?”
He took the douche out of my hand and squeezed it lightly, some of the water shooting out of the nozzle. “I’ll help you.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Flaming wasn’t even a word for my skin anymore. I was past the point of combustion, and with no escape from JP, I expected to just burst into flames and disintegrate right here and now. “We’re not playing, you’re not my Daddy.”
“No, I’m not, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take care of you for tonight.” He rose and grabbed my hand, tugging me up. “Turn around and spread your cheeks.”
My mind struggled against all my urges to do exactly what he’d ordered. This would only lead to more shame and embarrassment and I wasn’t sure I could live through the humiliation, but my body didn’t seem to understand what my head was saying because I damned well turned and leaned over the toilet. Using one hand, I held myself up while I reached behind to grab one of my asscheeks, pulling at it so he could see my hole.
He hummed to himself and went to the medicine cabinet. When he walked back over, he touched methereand I jerked forward in surprise. “Oh.”
“Stay still.”
