“You wouldn’t lie to me,” he whispered.
“Do you believe that?”
He shrugged.
I turned and walked toward the exit and heard him give the kennel door another solid kick.
“You’re in control here, Harley. Maybe not in the way you want, but it’s all on you.” I flipped the lights off and shut the door behind me. I kept walking as I heard his first frustrated yowl—the sound somewhere between man and cat.
14
Ihated how the guilt sat heavily in my stomach, and like a rock in water it sank low. Dragging my knees to my chest, I curled my arms around my legs and buried my face into my thighs. It was easier to deal with the hurt if I didn’t have to look at my surroundings. I didn’t need the reminder that I’d been locked up for bad behavior. I was used to being a naughty boy, cats pushed their owners to their limits most times. We weren’t meant to be as compliant as dogs, but we could definitely be as loving and loyal given the chance.
Yet, no one had ever locked me in a cage before. Barton chose to ignore me instead until I was begging for attention, and I wasn’t sure which punishment I preferred. This certainly gave me a reality check.
I forced air into my lungs and gathered the courage to glance around the room at the partially built human-sized cat tree. I’d never had one of those, either, but it had piqued my attention. Getting to my hands and knees, I crawled to the edge of the cage and closer to the tree. I wrapped my hands around the cold bars and shivered. It felt like I was in prison, jailed for the crimes of being a dick to an abused dog and man rolled into one. Kwan didn’t deserve my jealousy, even if he was so obviously begging for the attention his asshole ex never gave him. I did trust Brad, even if I’d only known him for a short time.
I pressed my forehead against the cold metal and sighed. This was stupid. All I had to do was apologize to Kwan and Brad would forgive me, yet I’d never had to say sorry to anyone like this before. I always firmly believed I was in the right and didn’t account for being wrong. I focused on the statistics and numbers to prove my points, and I could easily show Brad the statistics when it came to cheating and relationships, especially when there was another person living in the house. Hell, half the talk shows I’d ever seen centered around this very issue. Then again, I’d never been in the type of relationship where I worried about my partner cheating on me. Not like I was with Brad. I didn’t think I’d experienced this type of jealousy before.
I frowned at my own thoughts and let out another sigh, this one longer.
“Harley?” The timid voice from the door made me shuffle back and turn toward it. Toward him . Kwan.
I rose to my knees, my head nearly hitting the top of the cage. “What are you doing in here? Brad says you can’t be here.”
Brad, of course, hadn’t said any such thing. He wasn’t with Kwan, though, and it hadn’t been an hour yet, so I didn’t think it was time to apologize.
Kwan sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. He shifted closer into the barn, and I didn’t miss the way his gaze traveled to all the dog toys and the playpen that I knew puppies like him enjoyed. But he didn’t stop in his path toward me until he was at the bars. Dropping to his knees, Kwan smiled, and it was beautiful, but also awkward, as though he wasn’t used to smiling like that. I supposed he hadn’t had a reason to be happy when he was with that abusive bastard.
“He doesn’t know I’m here,” Kwan whispered, laying his hands in his lap. He wore a pair of jeans and a plain red T-shirt. They fit him perfectly, so they couldn’t have been Brad’s clothes. Brad had much wider shoulders and was taller.
“Then why are you here, to see all the dog equipment?” I couldn’t keep the snippiness from my voice. Even if Brad wouldn’t cheat on me, he still had an eager dog living here who was clearly looking for another owner.
“No, I came to see you.” He pulled off the kicked-puppy look perfectly. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
I startled and frowned at him. “For what?”
“For coming into your territory. I promise I’m not trying to steal Brad.” He glanced toward the floor for a quick second before his eyes returned to me. “I just don’t know what to do with myself right now. I’ve always had Mark as an owner, since I was eighteen. He took my virginity. He was my first everything. I loved him.”
I winced. Love was a fucking bastard. Although, I’d never really been in love with Barton.
“When he left, I had no one. Nothing. My family, they don’t talk to me anymore, either. Maybe they could have gotten past me being gay, but the puppy play? They found out and didn’t understand. Threw me out of the house because I had younger brothers. I moved right in with Mark.” Kwan wrung his hands together and chewed at his bottom lip. He didn’t look much younger than I was. We could have even been the same age.
“How old are you?” I asked, reaching through the bars to touch his hand.
He smiled at me gently. “Twenty-six next month.”
“You’re older than me?” My eyes widened. “I’m twenty-four.”
He laughed and turned his hand so our fingers entwined. “I know that I don’t really look my age to a lot of… people.” He gave the impression he was leaving something out that amused him as he glanced into my eyes and then lowered his gaze to focus on the floor again.
“Lucky you.” I stared down at our connected fingers. His skin was soft, and I realized that I didn’t hate him, I couldn’t. He was too sweet for that. Maybe if I stopped acting like a brat he could even be a friend. I didn’t think I’d ever really had a friend. The only people on my phone contact list were family and coworkers. “I’m sorry I was an asshole to you. It’s not you. I mean it is, because you’re a dog and I’m… not.”
“So?” Kwan frowned at me. “Brad couldn’t stop talking about you and how great you are while we made breakfast. He told me he wants us to be friends because that’s what I need the most right now. A friend. An owner can come later.”
I grunted and the guilt suddenly felt heavier. Yep, I was definitely a brat. “I’d like to be your friend, Kwan. My relationship with Brad is very new. I didn’t expect to get past a one-night stand with him because he’s only ever owned a dog. I guess… I was afraid you’d steal him away before we got the chance to discover this new… thing.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that.” Kwan laughed and his face lit up. “No offense, but Brad’s not my type. He’s a nice guy, but not the kind of owner I’m looking for, and I don’t get into bed with guys who clearly care about someone else. Not that he’d get into bed with me in the first place! Shit.” His cheeks flushed in embarrassment, and I laughed this time. He was pleasantly awkward.
