Was it really, though?
Yes. It had to be. I couldn't give in. I wouldn't let it be anything more than that.
Because I'd already tried once and had my heart shattered for it.
"Love is overrated," I said.
Zak sharply raised his head. The hurt in his expression was deep. I felt like I'd kicked a puppy. I immediately regretted opening my fucking mouth.
But why? Why do I care about what an alpha thinks of my opinion on love? It should mean nothing to me...
"I mean, I don't know," I said. It was a weak follow-up but what was I supposed to do? Lie? "It hurts people, too."
The hard edge in Zak's expression softened. "I wouldn't know. I've never actually fallen for anyone."
I tried to smirk, but it felt like more of a grimace. "I have. Once. That was enough for me."
Something like jealousy flitted across Zak's face before disappearing. "Well, whoever it was obviously wasn't your fated mate."
I snorted. "No. Definitely not."
What was that on his face now? Relief? That's what it looked like for a second before it sharpened. "Did you say that person hurt you?"
I examined him closely, wishing I knew what was going through his mind. Then again, I barely knew what was going through mine. Instead of slamming the door in Zak's face, I let him get his foot in. And worse still, I didn't mind it.
His eyes smoldered. I would've found it frightening if I didn't find it so attractive. Tearing myself away was impossible, and truthfully, I didn't want to.
"Yes," I said.
Zak bristled. If he was in wolf form, his hackles would be jutting up like knives. He was pissed.
Why did I like that? Why should I care if an alpha was furious for my sake? It wasn't up to him to protect me; I was fully capable of doing that on my own.
But Zak wasn't like the others. He wasn't likehim.
As soon as I admitted that to myself, the door between us splintered and fell apart. Zak stood in the threshold, looming over it, and I was going to let him in.
The words fell out of me, emotionless, like someone else was speaking them. "His name was Craig. He was an alpha, obviously. And yes, he did hurt me."
"You loved him?"
I hesitated. For a long time, I thought so, but now I wasn't quite sure anymore. "I don't know. At the time I thought I did."
Zak's lip curled, revealing a flash of his canine tooth. "He didn't love you. Not if he hurt you."
My mouth twisted into a dry smile. "You can love someone who hurts you, and the opposite is also true."
Zak looked like he wanted to argue, then ran a hand through his hair, grumbling. "Sorry. I didn't mean to belittle your experience or anything."
"It's fine. I know you didn't mean it that way."
Zak seemed relieved.
"But no. In hindsight..." I spaced out, staring at the fire. "I don't know if I really did love Craig. I think I knew I was supposed to. An omega is supposed to love an alpha, right?" I said scornfully, shaking my head. "It's a load of shit. I stayed with him for a long time because I thought that's what everybody did, even when he hurt me. Eventually, it just became my normal."
As I spoke, Zak's expression darkened. His hands on his knees curled tightly into fists but otherwise he was still. Though he didn't speak, I felt the burning question on his tongue:what did he do to you?
It was a question I never asked the omegas who came into the haven's care. It was none of my business and I respected their privacy. But I had to admit the dark curiosity was always there, as it was with Zak now.
