"You know," he said, throwing down the tail, "the longer you keep things bottled up inside, the harder it gets to push them out. Not to give you unsolicited life advice or anything."
His tone was nonjudgmental and I sensed genuine sympathy behind his words. They likely came from experience. But even so, there was no way he had experience with the same issue as me. He was right, of course. The problem was putting his advice into practice.
"But… I also know how rough it is to feel bogged down by the weight of your feelings," Orpheus went on, his voice softer now. "You feel like you're going to ruin everything just by opening your mouth."
My eyes widened. "Exactly."
Orpheus tilted his head, his pitch-black eyes boring into mine. I almost shuddered. In this moment, he truly did resemble some ethereal messenger. "But let me ask you something. If you ruin everything by speaking your mind, were things really so stable to begin with?"
His comments settled on me like a comforting weight. I never thought about it that way before. I thought about my life within the pack and also my friendship with Orpheus. Neither of them felt unstable. In fact, they were the most genuine bonds I'd created in my life.
Yet I still couldn't shake the fear that gripped me so deeply in my core.
"Tell you what, Red," Orpheus said. "That look on your face? I know exactly what you're going through."
I pointedly raised an eyebrow, which made Orpheus let out a rumbling, raucous laugh tinged with his raven’s voice.
"Well, maybe not exactly," he went on. "But something close enough. How about I tell you about me first? And if you still like me after that, you can go ahead and spill your guts to me too."
It was a tempting offer, and I likely wasn't going to receive a better one. I couldn't tell the rest of the pack, but I felt confident that I could tell Orpheus. Eventually. I usually didn't trust so easily, but something in my soul sung out to him.
"Whatever your secret is, I promise it’s safe with me," Orpheus said. "And once I leave this place, you have my word that I'll never speak of it to another soul."
My spirits sank. Right. He was still set on leaving. But maybe that was a good thing. I trusted him that he wouldn't tell anyone else about me. And if things went wrong—though just the idea of that made my stomach churn—I would never have to see him again once he took flight and left the pack behind.
What did I have to lose?
"All right," I said. "You got yourself a deal."
I stretched out a paw in a comical pseudo-handshake. Orpheus grinned and reciprocated, gingerly holding out his wing so that his long black primary feathers pressed against my paw pad.
"Glad to hear it." Orpheus snatched another vole from the pile and tossed it back. He let out a satisfied sigh, then sat down, nestling into his own feathers. "But not today. I'm beat. Who knew a rodent buffet could be so exhausting?"
8
Orpheus
I wasglad Red agreed to my terms, because watching him suffer in silence was too much to handle. It also hit too close to home. Just a short while ago, I was in the same position as Red, bursting with the need to say something but fearing the consequences.
But not anymore. I'd escaped that crappy time in my life and I couldn't be happier. Well, that wasn't exactly true. My perfect vision of happiness included a mate and children, but because of what I'd been through, it was unrealistic to wish for that.
"Uncle Orpheus!"
A gaggle of kids in human form pushed their way into the alcove. From what I'd seen, the pack generally preferred being in animal form, so I hadn't seen much of the kids like this. But even so, it was so easy to tell who was who.
The tallest girl had brown waist-length hair that was unruly and wild, just like her coat as a wolf. Lupa. Behind her was a boy with wide eyes and a quiet expression. Leveret had been wary of me at first, but quickly opened up, though he wasn't as rowdy as the others. Ashe was easy to discern because of the white streaks in his hair like fawn spots.
My body was feeling better these days, so I sat up to greet them. "What can I do you for?"
Ashe giggled. "You talk funny."
I grinned. "Do I?"
"Your word order is wrong," Leveret said bluntly.
That made me chuckle. That kid was smart as hell, probably smarter than me. "You're right. Should I fix it?"
Leveret thought about it for a moment, then came to a conclusion. "Only if you want to."
