I shot him a look. “No.”
“I didn't think so, but I thought I might as well ask.” Rafael sighed. “I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I think it would be good for you to try do something else on that day. You know, like to distract yourself. This is obviously still bothering you a lot.”
He was being surprisingly bold. Usually people knew to stay well enough away from this topic, especially Rafael who I considered one of my closest friends. But maybe it wasbecausewe were so close that he had the courage to approach it without fear.
“I don't know,” I said, genuinely not knowing what to say. “I'll probably just sit at home and watch a movie or something.”
Rafael offered me a grin. “Hey man, why don't we do something instead? It's not like I have anybody to spend it with either. Maybe it'll be fun with the two of us.”
For a moment, I considered his offer. Would spending time with my friend be healthier and more fun then moping around alone at my house? Probably. But that didn't make the offer any more appealing. Around this time of year, all I wanted to do was be alone .
Before I could turn him down, Rafael put a hand on my shoulder and said, “Just think about it, okay? You don't have to make a decision right now. I know this is a big deal for you. I just don't like seeing my bud down in the dumps so much.”
“Fine,” I said. “If it'll make you stop looking like a sad puppy, then I’ll think about it.”
He grinned. “Great.”
“I will have to pass on lunch today though,” I said. “Sorry. I really do want some time to myself.”
Rafael nodded. “That's cool. I get it.” As he stood to leave, he paused and then asked over his shoulder, “By the way, what happened back at the café?”
I withheld a wince. I was hoping he wouldn't ask me about that.
“I told you I ran into somebody I knew, remember?” I said.
Judging by the look on his face, he definitely didn't believe that was the whole story, but still hesitated about prying into my business. “You were gone a pretty long time. Are you sure there wasn't something more interesting going on?”
He winked at me and then left my office before I could scold him.
I sighed in relief that I didn't have to make up a whole story, although I was sure it would come back to bite me if I didn't do it eventually. Once again, my thoughts circled back to Jake. I groaned out loud in exasperation. Why was he all I could think about today?
I stood up abruptly from my desk, sending my chair flying back on its wheels. I needed to get out of my office and get some air, to clear my mind of my thoughts spinning uselessly back and forth. I glanced at the time. Nobody would miss me if I left for lunch a little bit early, and it wasn't like I was getting a lot of work accomplished in the first place. Maybe some air and time alone would help me be productive, too.
I grabbed my jacket and left the office.
* * *
When I exitedthe front doors, I turned in the opposite direction that I usually walked for lunch with Rafael. The office building stood in the center of a huge shopping district, so there were plenty of options for distractions. There was no particular place I had in mind when I strode down the sidewalk. I just neededsomethingto get my mind off of my thoughts.
Now that I was outside and in motion, my stomach growled. Apparently Iwasactually hungry and I hadn't noticed it with the dark cloud of thoughts. I didn't want to sit down for lunch, so I grabbed a savory crepe from the nearest street stand and continued on my way.
As I bit into the cheese and spinach crepe, the food instantly lightened my mood.Maybe all I needed was a bite to eat,I thought hopefully.
Now I noticed a group of teenage girls crowded around the glass window of a store up the street. They cooed and squealed in high-pitched voices that were usually reserved for small animals. I avoided the horde, but my curiosity got the best of me and I peered into the window to see what the fuss was all about.
Behind the glass, two young kittens bowled against each other inside of a tall multileveled crate. Their striped, fuzzy coats blended into one as they mewled and tumbled over one another. They seemed oblivious to the gaggle of girls watching them, and continued to play without a care in the world.
I smiled. The sight of the playing kittens brought me a warm, pure joy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. The longer they continued their antics, the happier I found myself. Without thinking too much about it, I followed my pleasure-seeking instincts and walked inside the store to get a better look at them.
As soon as I stepped inside the doors, a whimsical bell rang above my head and the scent of wood shavings filled the air. I held my crepe to my chest, out of reach of the kittens, and peered into of the cage.
The kittens perked up at my presence. They froze in the middle of their tussle, and peered at me with their wide eyes. Immediately, their eyes strayed to the food I was holding and they crawled over, mewling curiously.
“Hello, little ones,” I said and put my finger against the cage. One of the kittens licked my fingertip. My heart melted.
From the other end of the store, a familiar voice yelled sternly, “Hey, please don't put your fingers in between the bars, in case they bite. Also, you're not really supposed to have food here - ”
The voice stopped abruptly. At the same time, the voice registered in my brain. Both of us turned at the same time to exchange glances, and once again I was staring at Jake.
