Griffin
The columns of spreadsheets on my monitor remained empty. The low drone of my computer’s fan turned to white noise in the background. My office door was shut so I couldn't hear rabble from outside, and also to prevent anyone from bothering me.
When we left the café on Saturday around noon, Rafael was so full of food and drink, and in such a good mood that he barely bothered to ask where I'd been the entire time I was gone. He believed me when I told him I ran into somebody I knew and wanted to catch up. Either he knew that I was lying, or was enjoying himself too much to care. In any case, I had kept my end of the promise and accompanied him to the café, meaning I didn't have to go there ever again.
I only realized after we left that I'd forgotten the photos. I felt a little silly, especially since I paid so much money for them, even though the money wasn't for the photos in particular. Still, some naive part of me hoped that Jake was the one to retrieve them as a kind of novelty souvenir.
Why would he?I asked myself. He had essentially spent our entire time together wanting to get away from me. It would be foolish to think that he actually took the photos home.
Furthermore, why I had spent so much money on them? It wasn't that I didn'twantto donate to the charity, but I could have easily donated some other time, without eyes on me. It seemed to be that, with Jake watching, I was eager to prove myself. Perhaps it was a stupid reason, but I wanted to show him that I wasn't the kind of alpha that he thought I was. The idea that he thought I was like everybody else made my skin crawl.
Wasn't the night we shared together enough for him to realize that?
This is getting ridiculous,I thought, mentally scolding myself. I was knee-deep in work that needed to be finished, and here I was thinking about some omega I’d met twice in my entire life. I needed to get a grip and move on. He wasn’t paying my bills - hell, he didn’t even seem tolikeme - so why was I focused on him?
My eyes wandered over my desk, which was uncharacteristically messy. Papers were strewn everywhere, and my pen was uncapped and knocked aside, dripping droplets of ink from the nib. Next to my monitor stood a little desk calendar, which was flipped to the wrong month - January.
I frowned and corrected it to the current month, then dread settled in my stomach like ashes.
The anniversary of theeventwas coming up - fast.
Two weeks from now. To add insult to injury, the calendar stated in bold letters that the date in question was Valentine's Day. Now I realized why I had the calendar flipped the wrong month, so that I didn't have to stare at that the entire time I was at work. I glared at the calendar as if if it had committed a heinous crime, and me staring at it would shame it out of existence.
Obviously, that wasn't going to happen. I needed to face the facts like an adult instead of childishly pretending I could ignore the calendar until February ended.
But just to sate my urge, I leaned over and scribbled the phraseValentine's Dayoff that specific date with my pen until it was a black blob.
A knock at my door drew my attention. Behind the frosted glass, I could tell it was Rafael standing there and waving at me. Nobody else would have had the courage to bother me when my door was closed, and when we both should have been working. I debated whether to let him in or not, but if I didn’t, he would just pester me twice as hard.
I sighed and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Come in.”
The door creaked open as Rafael poked his head in. His brow was furrowed in concern. “You all right, man?” he asked. “Usually you come out to the lounge to grab a coffee or two by now, but I haven't seen you all day. Is something wrong?”
I shrugged. “I’m trying to cut back on the caffeine.”
He nodded absently. “Also, it’s almost lunch and I need your help choosing a place.” The longer he observed me, the deeper his wrinkled brows became. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Of course,I thought. He operated on his stomach alone.
“I'm fine,” I told him. “I'm just trying to get all this work done.” I shot him a sympathetic look and added, “Maybe you should get lunch without me today.”
“It's not fun if I go by myself,” he protested.
“Does it have to be fun?” I asked. “It's eating. It doesn't necessarily have to be a group activity.”
Rafael frowned. “Okay, now I definitely know something's bothering you. You're usually notthisgrouchy.” Without waiting for my response he came and sat on the corner of my desk. He raised an eyebrow at the scene. “And your desk's usually not this messy either.”
For somebody who only thought with his stomach, he was surprisingly attentive. There was no avoiding it now, but what could I say to him? Certainly not the truth - that, for whatever unknown reason, I was obsessing over a man I had met twice in my life, and I couldn't get him off my mind.
My eyes flickered to the calendar again. Maybe the upcoming date was a blessing in disguise. If nothing else, I could at least use it as an excuse.
I gestured to the date with the blackened blob on it with my pen. Without saying anything else, Rafael understood. His frown deepened.
“Oh,” he said simply.
We lapsed into silence. I knew Rafael recognized the significance of that date, and that he wouldn’t press the issue.
Or at least I thought he wouldn't. A moment later, he asked, “I'm guessing you don't have any plans for that day?”
