Laughing, he hugged her close. “God, I’ve missed you, Artie.”
“I’ve missed you, too. So much.” Still hiding her face against his shoulder, she admitted, “If I’d refused to let you go, I would’ve saved myself so much heartache and misery.”
“What happened? Between you and Randy, I mean?”
Artie groaned. Everything had been perfect—Derek, the kisses, the bear-free semi shelter—until the mention of Randy made her stomach knot. “It really is getting late. We should be heading back to base camp.”
“Nice try.” Ignoring her attempt at redirecting the conversation, he didn’t make any move to rise. “Tell me.”
She sighed, knowing he was stubborn enough to keep them there until they froze into ice statues or she spilled her guts. “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”
“Nope.” His arms tightened around her. “Dog with a bone here.”
Although she hated talking about the mess her former marriage had become, Artie realized that she wanted Derek to know. Except for the past four years, he’d been her best friend. She missed that, missed telling him everything and knowing he wouldn’t judge her. After a few seconds of struggling to figure out where to begin, she just blurted, “Remember how Randy was always so…intense?”
He snorted. “Yeah. He was a competitive bastard, too. Everything had to be a bet, and then he always had to win. Who could spit the farthest or yell the loudest or run the fastest…” Even as he shook his head, a nostalgic smile curled his lips. Artie understood. He, Randy, and Artie’d had a lot of fun growing up—at least until he’d dumped her, leaving Artie heartbroken.
“Or whose ant could cross the line in the dirt first.”
“And then he stomped on yours just before you won.”
“Yeah.” Her body sagged a little, and Derek held her tighter. Despite the terror and stress of the day, with Chase falling in the water and the girls going missing, being able to press against him like that was a single bright spark in a dismal day.
“So…?”
“So, he kind of swept me up in that intensity. He loved me so much, and wanted me so much, I kind of figured, who was I to turn him down?”
Derek choked. “What?”
“I know.” She shifted so she could press her temple to his shoulder while keeping her face hidden in his neck. That was really nice, too. “I was young and dumb and, I don’t know, malleable, I guess. You’d just dumped me—”
“Not because I didn’t want you!” he protested. “I’d gotten you arrested.Arrested, Artie. If you’d been convicted, no school would’ve hired you. Teaching has been your dream since I’ve known you, and I almost wrecked your life.”
That brought her head up so she could meet his gaze. “Isthatwhy you broke up with me? Because you thought you were bad for me? And I just let you, too young and stupid and scared to fight back.” She closed her eyes for a second, angry with the both of them for letting youth and inexperience ruin what they could have had these last four years. “It wasn’t your fault, Derek. How could you have known that the motorcycle your dad gave you for your birthday was stolen?”
“Because I know my dad.” His face tightened into furious lines. “He’s never paid for anything. Ever. I should’ve known that bike was hot, and I definitely never should’ve let you ride on it.”
She scowled at him. “You weren’t the only one with an operable brain back then, you know. I knew all about your dad’s business, about the hidden compartments in his semitrailer. Everyone in Field County knows that your dad’s long-haul trucking business is just a front for moving whatever illegal goods need to be transported across the country.”
His expression didn’t lighten. “My dad wasn’t the one who picked you up that day on a stolen bike. He wasn’t the one you trusted to keep you safe.”
She wanted to smack him, but her hands were trapped under his coat, so she had to settle for pinching his side…hard.
“Ow!” His body jolted beneath her. “What’s with the violence?”
“Quit trying to make me the victim. You’d told me about your dad’s sticky fingers and then showed up on a motorcycle he’d given to you. I knew what I was getting into when I got on that bike, but I did it anyway because it was exciting and exhilarating and I wanted to be with you.” Familiar regret overtook her, and she dropped her eyes to his throat. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you when you ended things the next day. I, well, I guess I was still pretty freaked out about getting arrested. I’d never even gottendetentionin high school, so that night in jail was kind of overwhelming.”
“I’m sorry.” The same regret she felt was echoed in his words.
She pinched him again. “Stop it, stupid. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry I didn’t stick with you. I’m sorry I didn’t fight to know why you were leaving and just assumed the worst. Instead, I took your words at face value and figured I had to find a way to get over you, so I kind of latched onto Randy.”
“Right.” He cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded tight. “How did that happen?”
“Now that I look back on it, I was such an idiot. Randy was there and interested and seemed like the safer choice, despite all his drama and jealousy.”
“Safer?”
Her cheeks flushed as she admitted, “I knew I’d never love Randy enough for him to hurt me like you had.”
