He groaned. “Artie…”
“Quit with the self-flagellation, or I’m not going to tell you what happened.”
“Self-flagellation?” Although he wasn’t smiling, his frown lightened a little. “I’d forgotten how much I loved it when you used your vocabulary on me.”
“Stop.” Her face felt like it was on fire. “I have to get through this. As much as I hate talking about it, I want you to know everything. I think Randy always knew he was my second choice, and it kind of drove him crazy. He always had to know where I was and who I was with. I almost broke up with him a bunch of times, but it scared me.”
His muscles tightened. “He scared you?”
Instead of answering, she hunched her shoulders in a tiny shrug. “Mostly, I was scared of being alone. It’s tough for me to make new friends, for some reason. Maybe because I never had to as a kid. I had you and Randy, and I didn’t need anyone else. After you ended things, you just disappeared. That was”—her inhale shook—“hard. I missed you so much, and I didn’t know if I could handle losing Randy, too.”
He opened his mouth, but she hurried to speak before he could say anything. It was hard to talk about the last four years, and she needed just to get it out before she lost her nerve. “Once I got my teaching job, things went from tense to, well, really tense. I love my job, love the kids, but it’s hard to turn off bossy-teacher mode.”
“Why would you want to?” he asked, sounding honestly stumped. “I love it when you’re in bossy-teacher mode. It’s almost as sexy as when you use your big words.”
“Thanks, Derek.” She relaxed a little, sinking against him as he rubbed her back. “Randy felt like he was losing control, so he tried to regain it. I’m different than I was when we got together, though, and I didn’t—don’t—want to be controlled. He started really pushing me about having a baby. I’d love to have kids, but the thought of Randy as a father… No. So we split.”
She heard Derek’s molars grind together. “How exactly”—each word came out clearly and precisely—“did he try to ‘regain control’?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Her forehead rubbed his coat as she shook her head against his shoulder. “It’s done.”
“Did he hit you?”
The silence went on long enough to be an answer in itself. His muscles tensed against her, turning his body to rock. Artie wasn’t scared of him, though. She could never fear him—he was her Derek, and he’d protect her with his life.
“Once,” she confirmed. “First and last time. I left him and stayed with my parents for a couple of months while I got my life together.”
“He just let you go?” Derek’s voice didn’t sound like his.
Her laugh, quick and silent, seemed to relax him a little. “Not exactly. It took a restraining order and a few chats with Sheriff Rob, but he finally moved to California. He said it was too hard to see me all the time when we weren’t together. I told him that he wouldn’t see me all the time if he weren’t stalking me.”
Derek’s sharp bark of laughter surprised her. “Good point. Has he left you alone since he moved?”
“Pretty much.” She shrugged. “There were a couple of texts and calls and emails, all of which I ignored. Everything’s been quiet the last few months. I have a feeling he has a new girlfriend.”
“You okay with that?”
“Definitely,” she said honestly. “Any remaining love for him faded before the divorce was final—probably even before his fist hit my face.”
Just like that, all his furious tension returned. “Where in California is he?”
She snorted. “Don’t try that oh-so-casual tone with me. I’m not telling you.”
Pulling back just far enough to meet her eyes, he put on his most innocent expression. “Why not? Figured I’d just go catch up with my good friend Randy.”
“Hah.” Smirking, she gave him another light pinch in the side. “‘Catch up’ as in kill him?”
“Of course not. Hurt him, sure, but I’d leave him alive. Maybe.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ve already gotten revenge for that punch.” Her lips curled in a smug smile.
“Yeah?” His eyes strayed to her mouth.
“Yeah. I had an awesome divorce lawyer. I’m now the proud owner of a Ducati Scrambler.”
After a stunned second, a laugh burst from him. “But you don’t even know how to ride one. You said youneverwanted to learn.”
“I don’trideit.” She shrugged, unable to stop her grin from lingering. It might’ve been petty and small-minded of her, but owning that motorcycle still warmed her insides. “I just go into the garage and look at it. It makes me happy that I have it and he doesn’t. He really loved that bike.”
