What if what if what if?—
It wasn’t the first time that he’d gone days without rest, but this time he felt ground down to a pulp. Exhaustion made his limbs heavy, but he tried hard not to put too much weight on her.
“None of this can’t wait until tomorrow morning,” Petra announced. “We’re both dead on our feet. Let’s just— let’s just go to bed.”
He scowled. “Don’t say dead.”
“Too tired to stand, then.”
His witch was right. He’d been beaten to within an inch of his life and felt less bruised.
Back in their bedroom, he stripped out of his clothes and collapsed on the bed, his head turning to watch Petra scuttle about on her little feet. First she folded her clothing, then placed the pile on top of his dresser. She didn’t have another nightgown with her — an oversight he didn’t regret — so she shamelessly dug around in his drawers until she found an old t-shirt to replace it.
He didn’t have the strength to argue with her about the benefits of sleeping nude. It was all he could do to watch her body move under his shirt as she extinguished the lights and padded back to what was now her side of the bed.
The lingering cloud of terror faded just a bit.She’s here,he thought, almost a snarl of defiance in the face of the universe.She’s here and she’s alive and she’s mine forever.
Shadows crept across the blankets as she slid beneath them, instinctively covering her so she wouldn’t be so vulnerable in her sleep. Petra didn’t complain. Instead, she let out a soft sigh as she settled on her side facing him. They were only a handful of inches apart, their breaths mingling, and it was her who threw an arm across the divide.
In a small, tired voice she said, “Life feels really overwhelming right now.”
“It does.”
“I bet this was way more than you bargained for when you offered me the deal, huh?”
A ragged laugh escaped him. “I knew you’d be entertaining, but no. I thought you just wanted to blackmail a rival or something. Easy-peasy.”
He looped his arm around her waist to drag her closer, until their bodies were pressed together from chest to knee. His cock was hard, pressed between them and flushed with his impending rut, but neither of them made a move to do more. The demand for sex was a cacophony in his mind, but his need forherwas louder.
He wasn’t sure where the question came from or why it mattered, but he found himself asking, “Do you regret asking me for help?”
Petra was quiet for a beat. At length, she answered, “No, I don’t think I do. Not yet, anyway.”
Something about that stung him. “Giving me time to fuck it up?” His response came out far more bitter than he expected, and he instantly regretted it when Petra flinched.
“I don’t know what tomorrow looks like, Silas.”
Scrunching his nose, he muttered, “You’re right. I know.”
“Can I ask you something personal?”
Silas nearly quipped that she could ask him for his liver and he’d give it to her, but he’d already messed up once, so he simply nodded.
Petra’s eyes were big and nighttime blue in her face when she asked, “It matters to you what I think of you, doesn’t it?”
He stiffened. “What are you talking about?”
“I mean like what happened tonight with your dad, and just now. It hurts your feelings when I or someone you… value thinks the worst of you.”
“Since when do I have feelings?” He didn’t enjoy the conversation anymore. Silas opened his mouth to tell her he was done talking for the night when Petra stretched her neck to press a featherlight kiss to his lips. The muscles of his abdomen tensed and his mind blanked. He lay there, stiff but docile under her ministrations.
“I think you do,” she whispered, lips stroking his with a tenderness that was both gentle and explosive. “I think you want me to trust you, to think the best of you, to feel safe with you. I think it bothers you when someone whose opinion matters to you assumes the worst — because that hurts.”
Silas fisted his hand in her hair, not to hold her in place, but to anchor himself. He felt like he was being pushed out into some dark ocean. Their connection was the only thing keeping him from being swept out into the unknown.
“You’re mine,” was all he could think to say. Even those familiar words came out like gravel.
Petra nodded, but it seemed like it was more for herself than in response to him. “It’s okay, demon. I think I’m beginning to understand.”
