Wrong!His instincts howled with dismay as he took in her glossy, bloodshot eyes, her blotchy cheeks and reddened nose. She’d been crying while he was away —hard.
“What is this?” he demanded, perhaps harsher than he should have. Kaz watched her flinch and felt another wave of wretched emotion wash over him. “Why are you crying? Tell me.”
Was it something he’d done? It had to be. Kaz wracked his mind, desperate to pinpoint where he might have hurt her. She’d felt off all day, but so had he. The closer they got to the homestead, the more tense he became. That wasn’t helped by the fact that he felt a strange, prickly sort of…lackas soon as they got to the house.
But none of that explained her obvious upset. He hadn’t sniped at her and she hadn’t said much of anything all day.
“I’m okay.” Even as she said it, more tears welled. “Really. Thank you for getting groceries. I really— I really appreciate it. You don’t need to worry. I’m— I’m just…” Her lower lip began to wobble, so she cut herself off by sucking it between her teeth.
Kaz watched in horror as she blinked hard, sending two errant tears down her cheeks to splash against his hands. Was this the breakdown he had been waiting for during their drive, or was this something else? Had he done something wrong by leaving her to get the groceries? Panic made him frantic as he rubbed the tears away, as if he could fix whatever was wrong if he could no longer see them or smell the salt in the air.
He wasn’t good with emotions. That shit belonged deep down inside of him, where it couldn’t threaten his steely control or his duty to his family. Whenever possible, Kaz preferred to pretend that he didn’t have them at all.
But he’d surrendered to this thing between them. He finally understood that giving in was the only way tokeepcontrol, as paradoxical as that sounded. Being a mate necessitated the free flow and discussion of emotion.
Theodore was always telling Margot how much he loved her and vice versa. Sometimes it felt like they couldn’t go five fucking minutes without a whisper, a touch, a secret look. Andy and Valen were the same. Even his fucked up sister and Winnie lavished one another with affection.
Over the years, he’d seen them all have disputes and hurt feelings. He knew how to resolve those things intheory,but now that he was staring down at the tear-streaked face of his fierce little mate, it was like he was standing in front of an m-lev, waiting to be flattened.
Without a doubt, he would have rather faced the end of Norman’s bolt gun again than this.
For want of a better tactic, Kaz kept his voice low, as if he was speaking to a spooked animal, when he begged, “My mate, please tell me what I did and how I can fix it.”
“I…” She trailed off. Something bumped against the outside of his boot, prompting them both to glance down. It was the jam.
“Did you get me… Did you get orange jam for me?”
Sensing danger, Kaz’s gaze flew back to her face. “I… yes?”
Her hands balled into fists by her sides and then, on the heels of a deep, shuddering breath, Atria burst into tears.
Oh gods, no.
Kaz made a horrified sound. Reacting purely on instinct, he dragged her into the circle of his arms and squished her face against his chest. Those precious hands curled into the back of his jacket with a grip so tight, he heard the leather squeak.
He had no idea what to do with his hands. They couldn’t stop moving. He found himself frantically petting her hair, her back, hoping that his touch alone might soothe her. His witch needed touch, right? That’s what she said. She needed to be stroked and petted often. It seemed to help her while they traveled. Why wouldn’t it help her calm down enough to tell him what was wrong?
Unfortunately, all it appeared to donowwas make her cry harder.
After several tortuous minutes, Atria finally ran out of steam. Instead of crying, she couldn’t seem to draw in a steady breath. Each one stuttered on its way in andwhuffedon its way out.
It reminded him of their time on the plane. She breathed the same way, as if she couldn’t draw in enough air no matter how hard she tried.A panic attack.
Kaz’s mind shut down. His own panic evaporated as the cool relief of training took over.
Guiding her over to the couch, he sank down into the cushions and arranged her over his lap. She let him press her chest to his and gently lay her head in the crook of his neck, where she would be able to feel his pulse.
Laying his heavy hand between her shoulder blades, he rumbled, “Breathe for me, princess. Follow my lead. Big breath in, hold it, and then let it out through your mouth.”
Kaz sucked in a deep breath and felt her do the same. When he breathed out, she did too, though she struggled to stop the choppiness for the first several rounds. They continued like that until the stuttering stopped.
Finally, when she was breathing more or less normally, he felt her sag against him. He closed his eyes and dropped his head onto the back of the couch.Thank the gods.
A few minutes of tears felt like ten rounds on the mat — and hevastlypreferred getting the shit kicked out of him to the tears.
Atria’s lips were soft and warm against his throat when she rasped, “I’m sorry.”
“For what, princess?”
