He just wanted me here.
“Is it hot out here?” I say, fanning myself instead of responding. Ben comes back with drinks, and I let the cool liquid glide down my throat as the siblings joke and chat with one another, meanwhile I feel lost in my thoughts.
Savannah’s words are ringing around my head from earlier. I almost want to call a car and go the fuck home right now. It feels like the more I get to know these guys, the quirks that tell them apart, these small things that make them different, the more I like them.
Sure, liking them isn’t the worst thing in the world. I had to like them to some degree to commit to this agreement and to forgive them for what they did in the first place. But as they joke and banter with their brothers and as Penny looks at me like I’m some sort of mystical unicorn she’s never seen before, I’m wondering if I’m making a mistake.
I made a promise to myself to not get into a relationship. I’m almost positive my ex is scoping the outside of my house periodically. The last thing I need is to fall for someone else, let alone two someone’s.
I’m about to stand up, make some excuse about my stomach hurting, and go home and clear my head, when Ben smiles over at me.
“You can’t come to Double Palms and not dance,” he says.
“Double Palms?” I repeat.
“The club name. Come dance with us. At least for one song,” Ben pleads.
“Yes! Dancing time,” Penny says, dragging Lincoln to the dancefloor, where I reluctantly follow.
I’ll dance. I’ll get it out of my system and then I’ll get the fuck out of here. When I’m in the comfort of—my possibly not being as safe as I thought—home, I’ll wonder if I’m making the right choices.
In the middle of my spiral, Britney Spears comes on. Penny makes a squeal of a noise, grabbing Jessa’s hand while I get bracketed between the twins. Gavin is at my back and Ben is at my front.
It feels oh so reminiscent of our night together, and I can barely stand it.
“You look so fucking hot,” Ben says against my ear, his hand on one hip while his brother’s hand is on the other.
I can’t deny how I feel when I’m with them.
Confident, sexy, powerful.
It’s addictive and I’m not sure I can give it up. At least not yet. Surely, getting to know them won’t change things. I can keep things separate.
This is a physical relationship. It’s all it has to be.
The way they dance is sinful. Gavin’s hardening cock is grinding against my ass, his breath fanning across the side of my face. While Ben’s leg is between my thighs, making my dress slide up even further.
Fully out in public in between twin brothers.
I’m not sure if Aunt Helene would be proud or mortified. I make sure to not look at anyone around us. It feels different now that we’re out in public. Neither of them seem to give a shit what people think, and I wish I could be more like that.
This whole summer, the whole divorce was about finding myself, being authentic to who I want to be. But I’m still fucking hiding and I don’t have a clue what I want.
“Just relax,” Gavin says in my ear, his hand sliding further over my hip against my stomach, caged between mine and his brother’s body. “Everyone either wants to be you or fuck you. Don’t worry about anyone else,” he says so confidently.
So I shut my eyes and somehow go along with the old adage of dancing like no one’s watching.
I dance like we aren’t on a dance floor, like Ben and Gavin don’t own this club, like their goddamn brothers aren’t just feet away from us. For a moment I just let my brain shut down and let my body take control.
It feels so good, getting lost in their mingling touches. The mix of soft presses of lips and rough fingertips gripping my flesh.
Beads of sweat are forming in between my breasts and I feel almost hyper aware that there are, without a doubt, eyes on us. I keep mine closed, not facing the judgment and letting myself have this one moment of peace.
Ben’s fingers lightly grip my chin, and my eyes flutter open, his handsome face the only thing I can see as his lips meet mine. Ben always kisses like he belongs in a regency romance novel. He’s sweet, kind, but beyond all his manners, he’s a very dirty boy.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispers against the side of my face as he pulls away, his brother still dancing behind me.
Penny glances over at us, her cheeks red from dancing, and then there’s the group of younger women behind her, also shamelessly staring. One of them holds their phone up, and I can see the flash, which is quickly turned off and their phone pocketed.
