I flip the brochure over looking at the price and give Clara a tight smile.
“I don’t know?—”
She waves her hand. “We can work a discount for the first two months,” she says with a smile and I wonder if they don’t have many single women interested in Key Club. Either way, I will eagerly take the discount.
Clara waits, and I almost wish the idea of bartering didn’t make me want to throw up to lower the price even further, instead I just out reach my hand and shake hers.
She smiles and puts me on the calendar and gives me all the information needed to sign up for Key Club and what I specifically need to do for my portal.
For the first time in a long time, it feels like I’m doing something for myself. I’m not signing up because of a boyfriend or doing what they like. It’s something I’ve fantasized about.
This is for me and for no one else.
I’m so sick and tired of being the girl who changes who she is to adapt to a man. I’m ready to do something just for me. It might not be in the form of me figuring out what I want to do with my life or truly getting my shit together, but despite that, it feels like a start.
It feels like I’m on the right path of figuring out who I am.
The Avalon paperworkis in my bag as I walk home. I’m slightly sweaty by the time I get my mail and head to the elevator. Even though it’s not far, I’ll definitely order a ride when I come back, especially at night time.
As soon as I hit the button, Lincoln comes strolling in through the apartment doors and stands next to me.
We’re both quiet for a long time.
“You haven’t spoken to that douchebag, have you?” he asks.
I knew not to expect an apology for the way he spoke to me. I’m not even sure that Lincoln knows how to say the word sorry. He did me a solid by picking me up, expecting anything beyond that from him would just be a let down, at least that’s how it’s been for the last four years.
“No, and with no plans to. But I told you that already.”
“So you did.”
“Are you coming to dinner on Sunday?”
“Unfortunately,” he says, and I push the elevator button again, even harder this time.
“God-fucking-forbid your family wants to spend time with your grumpy ass.”
“It truly is remarkable how they keep inviting me week after week, isn’t it?”
I roll my eyes, and Lincoln jams his finger against the button.
“Wow, whoever built this place should have to do time for how shitty this elevator is.”
“Shut up,” he says, pushing the button again. Carlson Commercial Enterprises built the building. My asshole cousin more than likely pre-approved this elevator company.
The bell chimes and Lincoln holds out his arms as we both walk into the space that feels smaller all the sudden.
I’m not sure when things with Lincoln got so bad. No, I remember when it all went to shit. He had a long-term girlfriend, Vanessa. He brought her to a bunch of family functions and then suddenly he no longer brought her places and that was that. He didn’t say why they broke up or what happened, he just turned into this person we all see today.
I don’t think I’ve ever had that effect on a man, and it’s probably fucked up to feel this way, but I can’t help it. I want someone to care about me so deeply I have the power to destroy them.
Wow, maybe I need to increase my sessions with Deb this week.
The door slides shut and Lincoln leans against the back of the elevator. “How was my brother today?”
“He’s losing his mentor, his close friend. He’s not doing great.”
“You’ll let me know if he ever seems too bad?” Lincoln says, and I look over at him.
