Is it because she’s what I can’t have?
No, it’s definitely more than that. Penny’s the first person to make me smile and feel so carefree in such a long time. I didn’t even feel a fraction of this with Vanessa and I thought I was going to marry her.
She wouldn’t be a fraction of the wife or mother that Penny would be.
I groan and rub my face just thinking about it. My life could always be how this weekend was. Maybe I fucked up, convincing her that we just needed to get it out of our system, because the fact is Penny’s embedded in my fucking veins now. Whether she wants to be or not.
“Stop staring at me, you freak,” she groans, and I grab her by the waist, holding her tight against my chest.
“I wasn’t staring. I was admiring.”
“Then continue,” she sighs, nestling in against my body with her eyes still closed.
“What if I said I didn’t want to go back to real life after the weekend?” I ask.
Her body stiffens, but she doesn’t leave my embrace.
“That’s not what we agreed on, Linc.”
“I know.”
She can clearly hear how dejected I feel, and she pulls away. She uses my large shirt and tucks it over her knees as she holds her legs close to herself and looks at me.
“I’ve put my parents through a lot, Linc. This family is all I have.”
“You can’t deny what we have, Penny,” I try to reason with her.
“I’m not denying anything. This weekend has been amazing, more than amazing. But we can’t, Linc. As much as I loved this weekend and I care about you, I can’t lose my family.”
“You’re not losing your family, Penny.”
She glares at me, standing up and pacing in front of my bed.
“You don’t get it.”
“Tell me what I don’t get,” I say, crossing my arms over my bare chest and leaning against the headboard.
“They would choose you, Lincoln. If we did this and told them everything and then things fall apart between us? They would choose you. I’d be Holly and Tim’s once-adopted daughter that’s been disgraced from the family.”
“You’re being dramatic,” I say, and she stops her pacing to stare at me.
Her blue eyes fill with tears and I suddenly want to swallow the words back down my throat.
“I know they’d choose you, because I’d choose you too, Lincoln. It’s why I need to go.”
She grabs her dress from the corner and I finally stand up to stop her from leaving the bedroom.
“Sunday isn’t even over yet,” I say.
She comes to stand before me, dress clutched against her chest.
“I need to leave,” she whispers.
“But you don’t want to.”
“I know, that’s the worst part,” she says, throwing the dress on and pushing past me through the living room and kitchen toward the front door.
“Penny, come back. We can talk about this.”
