“My whole fucking reproductive system feels like it wants to explode. What if it hurts the whole time? What if I can’t express what I need? What if it’s too much?”
His thumbs run soothing circles on my temples before he uses them to wipe away my tears.
“Where’s that device thing we got?”
I sniffle and point to the left of the bed, where there are a series of drawers. Everything is meticulously placed, and I don’t particularly like the idea of him messing with my stuff, but I let him get up.
He opens the top drawer and whistles.
“Damn, blondie, that’s a lot of toys.” I shrug, and he grabs the patch designed to help with cramps and shuts the drawer softly. “Lay back.”
I do as he says, and he lifts my shirt, kissing my stomach and sticking the purple patch on my abdomen before turning it on.
“How's that?”
I wipe my face and nod.
“Do you think if I ate you out, that might help?” he asks, and I smile and nod.
He peppers kisses all over my stomach, making me laugh and forget about all the pain currently ricocheting through my body.
“Wait!” I stop him as his teeth clamp down on the waistband of my shorts.
The waistband snaps from his mouth against my skin as he looks at me.
“I need you to make me a promise.”
“Okay, anything.”
“That no matter what I say, no matter how much I beg you, don’t let anyone bond with me.”
“You’re sure?”
“I want to be lucid. Maybe it’s stupid, but I like the idea of it being romantic. Not something to ease whatever this is. I’m sure I’ll ask them to do it, to bite me. But I need it to be a choice when I’m not in heat.”
“Maybe I should bring a taser in here and zap ‘em if they try,” he jokes.
“I’ve done a lot of research on what it’s like to go through heat and not bond, it’s difficult. But sucking on my neck, grazing teeth, and words of affirmation will help with the feeling of rejection.”
“You know none of them are rejecting you.”
His head rests on my pelvis, and I brush his hair away from his face, his locks gliding through my fingers smoothly.
“Rationally, right now, I know that, but I won’t during my heat. I’m trusting you to keep everyone in line.”
“Aye, that’s me, master of mitigation.”
I smile, and he grabs the hem of my shorts again with his teeth, proceeding to eat me out like his life depends on it. It helps with the pain, and so does the device, but I have no doubt in my mind I’ll be in full-blown heat within the next few hours.
My clothes itch, and they don’t smell right.
I’m pacing the nest while Lorcán, Cillian, and Declan stare at me like they don’t know what to do.
Of course, they don’t know what to fucking do. None of us do. This is a disaster.
This perfect nest, yet none of us have a single clue what we’re doing.
Something feels so off, so wrong.
