Lorcán’s shirt looks super soft, though. I snap my fingers at him, and he looks up at me. “Your shirt.”
The man takes it off with zero hesitation, and I remove my clothes to put his shirt on. This is much better. It smells just like his rich cedarwood scent.
Cillian’s scent is the strongest in the room, likely because he’s my scent match, but it still isn’t enough. It doesn’t feel right.
“Princess, is there something you need? Something we can do to make you feel better?” Lorcán asks apprehensively.
A needy whine rips from my throat, but I continue to pace.
It’s not what’s missing. It’swhois missing.
How could my other scent match not want to be here for me? Am I not good enough? I’ll just have to make him understand that I can be good for him, that he needs to be here for me. Because without him here, I’m not sure I can do this.
I stop pacing and begin to leave the nest.
“Elena, where are you going?” Cillian asks, but I ignore him as I put in the code to leave the nest.
He doesn’t stop me but continues to follow me as I walk towards Finn’s room.
“Mo stór,I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”
I don’t reply to him because he clearly doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand this deep-rooted, incessant need for Finn to be a part of my heat, that without him there, I’ll just ache.
Finn is sitting on the edge of his bed, his face in his hands as I approach him. I know my scent is the thickest it’s ever been, and it has an instant effect on him. He drops his hands, looking at Cillian and me.
I drop to my knees and place my cheek on his thigh.
“I’ll be good, please,” I tell him. “I’ll be so good. I can’t… I can’t.”
He runs a tattooed hand through my hair, his skin feeling electric against mine.
“You can’t what?” he asks, his voice gentle. It makes me want him even more.
“I can’t do this without you. I need you. I promise to be good.”
He sighs, deeply inhaling my scent or breathing in irritation, I’m not sure.
“I know you’re good, you’re perfect. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are perfect,” he promises in the softest tone I’ve ever heard him use. “You don’t really want me there, though, Elena. I don’t deserve to be a part of your heat, not yet.”
“I don’t fucking care,” I tell him, rubbing my face against the buttery-soft material of his pant leg. “You’re not broken. You’re mine whether you want to be or not.”
“I don’t deserve you, baby,” he says, and I can feel wetness pooling around the apex of my thighs.
“I don’t care. It doesn’t matter.”
He sighs, and the sting of rejection cuts so deep I want to curl into a ball and die. A cramp rumbles through me so hard that tears well in my eyes from the pain.
“Come on, Elena, I’ll take care of you. It will be okay,” Cillian encourages, attempting to grab my arm.
“No,” I nearly shout at him as I tug my arm away and place both hands on Finn’s thighs. “Don’t make me beg. Not after everything. Why don’t you want me?”
Finn grips my chin, his face the closest to mine it’s ever been.
“Don’t be stupid.” My heart drops in my chest. I should have gotten sedated and waited until we were truly a pack to go through my heat together. I’ve ruined everything. “I want you more than I’ve wanted anything, and I don’t know how to deal with that. Why would you ever want me after everything I did to you?”
“Shut up,” I tell him before standing and crawling onto his lap. He thankfully lets me as he holds me by the waist. “You want me?”
He nods, and it feels like all the little pieces are clicking together. Everything I’ve ever wanted is finally making sense.
