“Stop or you’re going to make me cry, too.”
“We can’t have the birthday girl crying, now can we?” my mom chastises, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me tightly. It’s sweet until she starts to softly cry.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” I turn around in her arms and she cups my face, forcing a smile onto hers.
“Nothing. One day, when you have a child, you’re going to hold that little baby in your arms and fall so madly in love. Then in a blink of an eye, they’ll be all grown up and you won’t know where all the time went,” she says while holding back more tears. Her thumbs rub my face, and she just looks at me for a few moments. “You saved my life, you know?” she whispers.
“Mom,” I sigh, wrapping my hands around her wrists.
“I know you were little and you don’t remember much, but without you and Leon I wouldn’t be here. God, I’m so fucking happy I’m here to see this,” she tells me.
I wrap my arms around her small frame, and we hold each other for a moment. I try to picture a life where I can’t see my mom every day. My mom isn’t perfect, far from it, but she’s still my mom. She did the best she could with the circumstances she was dealt, and I’m not sure I can ask much more of her. If I leave with Cash and Axel, would I ever be able to come back?
“You’d love me no matter what?” I ask her.
“No matter what,” she repeats confidently.
“We should head down,” I tell her. She pulls back and nods.
“I only came here to give you your gift anyway,” she admits, pulling out a small locket from her pocket.
It’s old, and I vaguely remember seeing it around her neck a few times. She pops the top, and it’s a picture of the three of us—my mom, Leon, and me—smiling when we first moved here. My chest aches over what the necklace represents—home. I hold it in my hands tightly. I take a few moments, but I can’t spit the words out.
I remember this day vividly, it was the first day that I truly slept through the night, and I didn’t have to wake Leon up after a nightmare. I feel a crushing guilt, wondering if my brother has ever or will ever have a good night's sleep. Part of me wants to confide in my mom and tell her what Leon said, but something holds me back. Instead, I wrap my arms around her again and give a mumbled thank you against her hair.
“Okay, today is supposed to be a celebration. Let’s head outside,” she redirects, and I nod my head as she cups my face and kisses my forehead softly.
I wear the necklace around my neck with pride as I walk to the center of the square, where most of the club is waiting to sing me Happy Birthday. I, of course, do a headcount and noticethat both Axel and Cash are there, but Tate is clearly missing. It makes my heart ache, but I shove that feeling deep down.
I can’t have a missing spot in my heart that belongs to Tate… I just can’t.
The synchronized singing starts and my cheeks heat under the attention of so many people as I stare at the twenty-one candles before me.
I close my eyes, envisioning my wish as I inhale a deep breath and blow all the air out in a harsh whoosh, trying to get all the candles to flicker out. Hoping that out of all my birthday wishes, this is the one that finally comes true.
While I’ve hada sip of alcohol here and there in the past, nothing compares to how I feel right now. My body feels a little tingly, and everything just feels pretty fucking awesome. That might also be because the party moved into the clubhouse, and I love being in here. It’s not that the clubhouse is anything special—it’s honestly, slightly unsanitary and a bit of a shithole—but it’s my family’s shithole, and I love it here.
“You want to dance, sugar?” Atlas asks me from my side.
He might have been cute when he first rolled up to the compound, but now when I look at him I feel nothing. If anything he kind of creeps me out.
“Sorry, she’s mine for the night,” Shelby interrupts and grabs my hand to drag me to the dance floor.
“Thanks for the save,” I tell her and she laughs.
“Please, if anything I was doing him a favor. If your guys caught him flirting he might be dead in a ditch by the end of thenight. Plus, Kim said his pecker is, like, super small,” she says, and I laugh loudly.
“Well, I’m glad I avoided that.”
Shelby holds my hips as I throw my hands in the air and dance. All the guys grumbled when I threw on Lady Gaga, but I see a few of them swaying or tapping their feet to the beat.
“I have a birthday present for you,” she leans down to whisper in my ear.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Best thing is… it’s free.” She grins, and I wonder what this wild Beta has in store for me.
“Where or what is it?”
