“I’m in for life,” he sighs, resigned.
My brows furrow, he just said Cash could up and leave, why can’t he? My brother kisses the top of my head and hugs me one more time.
“Just promise me you’ll think about it? I’ll help you get out if you need it,” he promises.
He pulls away from our hug, and I try to tug him back toward me; there’s more to discuss, so much I don’t understand.
“Leon,” I sigh his name as he starts to walk away.
“Night, Lily,” he says over his shoulder as he opens the back door and leaves the house.
I notice that he doesn’t walk to the clubhouse, but turns toward the sweet house. I’m not sure how to take everything he said, but I know one thing for sure, I need that money even if it’s used for running away from everything I love and know. Although I’m going to need more than my brother’s drunken words for me to abandon everything I’m trying so hard to keep. I’ve got to have some sort of hope that I can make this work, that I can make Kurt and everyone else see reason.
But Leon’s words ring through my head all night, the fear in his voice, his pleas for me to get out. I don’t take his threat lightly, but I just can’t wrap my head around what could be so sinister that he doesn’t want me here. Everything over the past few weeks is running together in my head; the dates, what’s been said about Kurt, how Kurt has been acting.
I lie awake in my bed, combing through our conversation over and over again, knowing that my brother is probably right, and it makes my chest ache. I’m tossing and turning until my phone buzzes on my nightstand.
Axel
Night, baby.
Glad to see you didn’t get in any trouble.
Me? In trouble? Never. Why are you still up?
Just a lot on my mind.
Should I sneak into your room?
I smile, wanting to say yes, but I know my mom and her pack will be home soon.
Maybe another night.
Night.
Night.
I cuddle with Cash’s hoodie and struggle with what I should do next, but now that I know Axel is safely home, I’m able to get some sleep.
Today isthe day that I’ve been dreading for weeks—I’m finally twenty-one. I’m not sure why I expected to wake up feeling like a completely different person, but I don’t; I feel the same. And no matter how normal I feel, I know what’s looming around the corner; I shove it deep down. If I dwell too long about the future or my upcoming heat, I go into a spiral.
I’ve been replaying so many conversations in my head. Axel’s confessions, Cash’s promises, Tate’s denials, and my brother’s fears. They all point me in one direction… Marielli’s Mass. I’m giving myself today to enjoy my birthday but tomorrow’s it. I’m biting the bullet and masturbating live, and what comes after is yet to be seen, but I’ve been preparing myself.
All I’ve wanted is to be a part of the club and stay close to my family, but the reality is… that just might not happen.
There’s a light knock on the door as I’m trying to zip up the back of my pink dress. “Come in,” I say loud enough for them to hear.
The door clicks open and then shuts. I turn around to see my mom smiling with watery eyes at me.
She shakes her head, wiping away tears. “Shit, I told myself I wasn’t going to cry,” she chides herself before coming up behind me and helping me with my dress. “You look beautiful, honey.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She squeezes my shoulders as we both look at our shared reflections in the mirror. “I never imagined this, you know? The chance to watch you and Leon grow up,” she whispers as she touches my hair and looks at me like I’m the center of her world. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Why? I haven’t done anything special,” I state.
“You couldn’t be more wrong. You have your own business, everyone here loves you, and you’re so confident and strong. I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter if I tried.”
