“It’s nothing,” I answer dejectedly, trying to pull away. He looks over to Judd, who also looks at me, and then at the singer on stage. I watch it all click in his mind.
The fact that he doesn’t really want me, that I’m compelling them to be in my orbit without even knowing it.
“Mara?” Toth asks, and I shake him off of my leg. He’s the only one who’s been able to push past my silent siren song. No wonder why he has always pushed back. He must realize that I’ve been trying to pull him in with an energy I didn’t even know I had.
The woman—my mother—hears Toth say my name, and her eyes connect with mine. She doesn’t stop singing but takes a few moments to stare at me. I take a deep breath. I know what I am, and now, I guess, is my time to get answers from the woman who left me to flounder on my own.
She finishes her set, and the hat the bouncer passes around is filled to the brim with cash. I want to scream when Judd puts a hundred-dollar mortal bill in the hat.
“Sweetheart, we can go,” Judd says, almost like he didn’t realize he tipped her that much.Of course, he didn’t.
“No, I need answers,” I reply, pulling myself together. I guess I can’t truly trust Judd or Elvor. I’ve been compelling them to be with me, not that I was trying to. But that doesn’t matter, does it? I’m not even sure if I can trust myself.
Judd looks over to Toth, and I sigh. After this, he will know that I can compel demons. But at least he won’t know everything.
I grab Toth’s face, locking my gaze with his. His brown eyes stare back intently, trying to gauge if I’m okay, and I hate it. He isn’t allowed to care; I don’t deserve it, I never did.
“You’re going to sit out here unless you or one of us are in danger,” I tell him, making sure my language is clear. I don’t want to leave him in a position where he can’t defend himself because I compelled him.
“I’ll stay here,” he repeats back to me in a monotone voice.
“Let’s go,” I tell Judd and Elvor, who follow me towards the backstage area.
“I can’t let you back there,” the bodyguard growls. I’m sad and pissed off enough that I don’t even think when I snap his neck. His body crumples to the floor, and Elvor and Judd don’t question me as I walk backstage.
She has her own dressing room. Her name is in gold, glittery, bubble letters.Lorelei.
I don’t knock, just walk right on in. The first thing I notice is that her room is filled to the brim with shopping bags, all name brands. As I scan the room, I notice her leaning against a vanity, smoking a cigarette with her legs crossed and her feather-lined dressing gown sliding back to expose her thigh.
She doesn’t look a day over twenty-five. She’s beautiful, perfect, and a complete fucking monster.
“I thought you might find your way back here,” she says in a bored tone. Her voice is melodic, and I hate it. Almost as much as I hate how little she seems to give a shit. Even if Lucifer is lying to me, he at least seems to have some interest in getting to know me and my well-being. The woman in front of me seems more inconvenienced than anything. It’s not helping my temper one bit.
“Well, can you blame me for being curious?” I counter.
“Didn’t think you were going to survive if I’m being honest,” she says nonchalantly, inhaling and puffing out the ring of smoke. She acts like it’s a shame that I survived like she hasn’t given my existence a single thought since she abandoned me.
“Is that why you ditched me at the orphanage?” I demand, my voice rising.
She laughs and shakes her head. “I tried to solve the problem before you were even in existence, saw a few witches and everything.”
I barely keep my anger hidden, but Elvor doesn’t. He cracks his knuckles; the sound, so loud it’s like gunshots. But he doesn’t act, just stands next to me as my protector. It makes my stomach sink. His loyalty isn’t one that I earned, it’s something I forced, and neither of us consented to it.
“How did you survive this long, anyway? I was sure being half-demon wouldn’t have worked out for you.”
“You knew he was a demon?” I ask.
She shrugs her shoulders. “He was handsome and looked lonely, so I invited him to my bed. Powerful demon too, it only made me want him more.”
This stupid bitch has no clue she gave birth to the spawn of Satan.
“Are you looking for a job or something? Cause I can’t offer you anything else,” she says dismissively.
“I just wanted to know where I came from,” I tell her honestly.
She tilts her head at me and looks at Elvor. “I quite like him. Be a dear and fetch me my martini,” she commands
As soon as the words leave her mouth, Elvor obeys, and I snap.
