Maybe one day I’ll feel as free as I did last night. I can only hope.
Chapter18
Burlesque was a loose term for what goes on here. It’s not necessarily a strip club, but maybe somewhere between the two.
It reminds me of old Hollywood; the room is decorated with wine-like reds and gold accents. It’s classic, and the place is cleaner than I would have imagined. There are three rows of tables and chairs, a center stage, and multiple smaller stages throughout the building. It’s packed, but luckily, Toth secured us a table.
He scans the place with a watchful eye, and I don’t blame him one bit with the current company we’re sharing. The place is crawling with supernaturals. I felt so manyotherpresences before we even entered the building.
Toth was kind enough to secure me a dress for the evening. His excuse was that he didn’t want me, causing a scene at another store, but I don’t buy it. The dress is a black flapper dress, and I can’t stop twisting back and forth to watch it sparkle as I move. Plus, all three of them can’t stop looking at me, making me feel pretty cute. I may or may not be indulging in the dress more than I should. There’s just something so satisfying about a man buying something for you, especially one who acts like he doesn’t want you. And yet, he knows my style and size.
There are angels sitting at the table next to us, and I take in their appearance. It’s three men, of course. They are beautiful and dressed like they’re getting their picture taken for the red carpet. I note how they are each drinking and acting very much like mortals, unlike the holier-than-thou beings they are supposed to be. They look over at me with disgust before continuing their conversation and focusing on the acts on stage.
It pains me that I have to hold back my eagerness and not go on a murderous rampage right here and now. Every day that passes, I feel more used by Heaven and Beelzebub. I’m still not sure I can completely trust Lucifer. But whether I trust him or not, I need to make sure that whatever my mom is, it doesn’t fuck with my standing with him. Is it pathetic that I don’t want it to? I want him to look at me like he looks at Blair. Like I’m special, smart, instead of like a bomb waiting to go off.
My need for male affirmations isn’t lost on me, trust me. The daddy issues are rubbing me the wrong way tonight. Fuck, I want to hurt somebody, so I don’t have to hurt like this anymore.
Toth’s hand is the one to land on my thigh and squeeze. “Whatever you’re thinking about, try to tone it down,” he says softly, not in his usual asshole tone.
Elvor looks down at his hand like he wants to cut off each and every one of Toth’s fingers. He doesn’t because Elvor doesn’t want to upset me, and if that’s just not the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is.
Judd is just happy to be here, looking around for threats and non-verbally checking in with me. I’m interested in seeing if Judd can fight, not that he needs to. I didn’t choose him for his strength in battle; I chose him for how light he makes me feel.
Besides, with Elvor, Toth, and myself, whoever decides to fuck with us is in for a rude awakening.
“I’m fine,” I tell Toth, but he doesn’t remove his hand. It feels nice. His palm isn’t as big as Elvor’s, but it’s callused and strong, just like the demon himself.
But I’m lying when I say that everything is fine; something feels extremely off to me, although I can’t explain it.
The woman dancing and singing on stage is alluring in her own way, but I can’t seem to focus. My gut knows something is wrong. I just don’t know what it is.Maybe it has to do with the angels next to us, or maybe Michael is here tonight?
Toth doesn’t move his hand, and I can’t help but feel like it’s centering me right now. Does he sense the wrongness around us? I wouldn’t even call it danger, just wrong.
“What are you feeling?” Toth asks.
“Something feels wrong,” I answer him. All the men at our table look at me, and I swear they sit a little taller in their seats, looking out for any looming danger.
The woman finishes up her set, and the announcer calls out the next act. “I know you all have been waiting patiently, so let’s welcome Lorelei to the stage,” he exclaims, trying to rile up the crowd.
Suddenly, it’s like everything moves in slow motion. Her heels click against the stage as she holds her pose and looks around the room.
She has blue eyes that match mine and the same dark hair as me. I can see more of the resemblance when I think about what I looked like when I was fifteen. But even now, with this corporeal body made in Hell, there are still some similar features.
She opens her mouth to sing, and all the dots connect for me immediately.
My mother is a siren.
A really fucking powerful one. Even as I hear her sing the melody, I almost feel myself drawn to her. This overarching need to please her and make her feel good. But I can easily ward her off. The men around us, not so much.
The table of angels next to us are fawning over her, looking at her like she hung the moon. The entire audience is enamored by her voice, and I watch in horror as they drag out their wallets to pay her for her song.
My heart drops.
This is why Elvor and Judd want me.Not because ofwhoI am but because ofwhatI am. My siren part, combined with all the power of being Lucifer’s daughter, draws them to me. Of course, I didn’t earn it with my personality or being the person I’ve become since being corporeal. My siren nature has wrapped a noose around their neck and tugged them into my clutches.
Elvor must notice me disassociating from the moment because he squeezes the back of my neck and forces me to look at him.
“What?” he asks. I bet that was hard for him in this public space. I blink at him and wonder if he would have ever been interested in me if I wasn’t riddled with the power to bend him with my command.
