“I doubt it, we work with a bunch of selfish assholes. Their heads are too far up their own asses to pay attention to anything.”
I take a breath and grab two stainless tumblers for us. Penny starts pouring our drinks.
“Do you not want people to know?”
“Just not the office, for now.”
She nods and takes a sip of her drink, her eyes squinting a little bit. “I might have made these a little too strong.” I take a sip, and she very much made them too strong, but we don’t plan on leaving the cottage today.
“Am I stupid for thinking we can hide it from the office?”
“Pfft, no, it’s probably hot. Sneaking around, hoping no one will find out.”
“Sounds like you have experience.”
She shrugs her shoulders and takes another sip. “Are we hitting up the beach or what?”
“Let’s go.”
* * *
Letting Penny make our drinks is a mistake, it’s only four in the afternoon and we’re ready for a nap. We needed a break from the heat so we’re both sitting on the couch with oldGrey’s Anatomyepisodes playing in the background.
Penny breaks the silence first. “I bet Aiden fucks like he might die if he doesn’t make you come.”
I sputter, dribbling some of my water on my chin. “He’s your cousin,” I say, not responding to her very true statement.
“Hisadoptedcousin. And tell me I’m wrong and I’ll drop it. I know the man goes to Avalon.”
Thank goodness I didn’t take another sip of water as I blink at her.
“How do you know he goes to Avalon?”
“I have my ways.”
I squint at her and tilt my head. “You’re a little freak under that pretty little package aren’t you?” I say and Penny barks out a laugh.
“Takes one to know one.”
“I’m not into anything too out there.” I’m scooching on the couch closer to her for this interrogation and she laughs.
“I heard you tell your ex he wasn’t your daddy anymore.”
“Right,” I say, wondering if she wants more details. It’s hard to explain to people who don’t get it. Who think that the kink is just all about having issues with your parents, when really it’s about the relationship dynamic and having someone who takes care of your needs in a reverent way.
Penny stops me from my spiral with a hand on my arm. “Hey, I’m not judging, far from it. It might not be my thing, but I get it. I don’t judge you, Jessa.”
It might be her strong drinks, or I haven’t felt this close to another woman since freshman year, but I wrap my arms around her neck and hug her tight. I don’t let go for a ridiculous amount of time, and when I pull back, Penny’s eyes are watery.
“I think we’re best friends now,” she says, and I have to clear out the tears from my own eyes.
“I think so too.”
We order a pizza and spend the rest of the night sitting on the couch, exchanging stories and laughing so hard my face hurts. I don’t think I realized how much Sean isolated me, how much he wanted me to be just his. His control went beyond the bounds of the dynamic I wanted and as I make these realizations I see how different Aiden is.
I know that the relationship is new and I shouldn’t get my hopes up. But Sean would never encourage a night out with a girlfriend. Aiden told me he trusted my judgment to tell Penny and to have a good time.
I must have a dreamy look on my face as Penny throws a pillow at my face. “You’ve got it bad.”
