They are the true reason why I’ve been back on Earth this whole time, trying to figure out their secrets. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Part of me realizes that I’m a coward or making myself suffer.
Diana didn’t get to live a full afterlife, why should I?
There’s a ghosting of a touch on my neck, and I can’t help but look over my shoulder. He’s not there. I must be really losing it if, at this point I’m having phantom run-ins with Lucifer. Instead of dealing with whatever this longing is inside of my chest, I order another cocktail, knowing that in my demon form I’ll need many more drinks to even feel the dull haze of a buzz.
The alcohol in Hell is so much better than this. No offense to Blair, she’s doing the best she can.
To be honest, everything is better in Hell. When I first arrived, I thought I would hate it and the fact that it’s always overcast in a sort of gloomy way. But I find that on Earth, I enjoy the rainy days over the sunny ones.
No place I’ve stayed on Earth compares to Lucifer’s manor. Not to mention the overall opulence in Hell. It’s like living in a different time period. Even though I was Lucifer’s assistant, as far as anyone knew, I felt like royalty.Hemade me feel that way.
I swallow thickly, not liking the overwhelming intrusion that Lucifer has over me lately. Maybe I need a distraction, a new project. Maybe it’s high time I started doing more when it comes to the angels.
It’s about time I found one of those pigeoned-wing bitches and got some answers. As soon as that thought hits me, it’s like Lucifer’s presence in the bar retreats, and I can’t help but feel lost without it. I shake my head.No, I will not go back to him.If he wanted me so bad, if he wanted my forgiveness, then he could have asked a long time ago.
I don’t even give myself time to think of all of Kas’ excuses for Lucifer over the years.“He’s protecting you.” “He’s a fucking moron, but he cares.” “He had to have had a reason, Lilith.”Excuses aren’t what I need. I need answers.
“Do you need another?” Blair asks me, and I shake my head.
“No thanks.”
She squints and looks at me hard for a few minutes. “You look familiar, have you been here before?”
I give her a small smile and think of all the memories I have of her that she doesn't have of me. Like the time I told her to kick her prom date in the balls for getting too handsy or to set that little bitch Clover’s hair on fire. Maybe I wasn’t the greatest little demon on her shoulder, but we had a good time.
“No, just passing through.”
She nods, but she doesn’t seem convinced as she puts a hand on her hip. “Well, my name’s Blair; I own the place. If anyone gives you a hard time, just come and get me.” She gives the three men sitting at the bar a stern look, and I have to hide my smile at how strong she’s become.
Lucifer has to be proud. I know I am.
Great, we’re back on Lucifer again.I put an abundance of cash on the bartop and leave before I can get too nostalgic.
Tonight we’re hatching a plan. I need Rainn to give me more information. I think about the place we met previously, and I find myself walking behind the post office. I take the coin out of my pocket and rub it. It’s a fifty-fifty chance that he shows up. I fucking hate how co-dependent I’ve become on this coin. Especially because it’s a subpar replacement for my dagger. The dagger called to me in a comforting way, like we were one. This coin, it nags on me in a festering way that I can’t refuse.
I rub the back of my neck as a raindrop hit’s my skin.Odd, it wasn’t supposed to rain today.
It’s as I stand outside looking at the street that I realize I don’t belong here. I always thought I was meant for something other, and yet, here I am back on Earth feeling displaced. But until I have answers for Diana, I can’t move on. I need to know what she was warning me about and Beelzebub's head on a spike. Nothing less will curb this hunger.
I’ve been a demon for long enough now, but I’ve never actually thought about what I want in this immortal life. It feels too overwhelming as I stand on the pavement and for some stupid reason, I think I can bargain with an angel.
There’s a crack of lightning, and Rainn appears. “Lilith,” he greets me, and I nod.
“I’ve got a lead on the Diadem.”
He arches an eyebrow but seems to take the bait.
“Do tell.”
“I believe it’s in the Fae realm.”
“And how, pray tell, did you become privy to this information?”
“That’s none of your concern. But I’ll need your help to get it. What do you have for trade?” I’m lying through my teeth, but I just need this to be over. Maybe if I just kill Beelzebub, I’ll feel better. Sure, I’ll be wondering why she came to Hell, but I can’t keep living like this.
“Beelzebub’s whereabouts.”
My eyebrows probably skyrocket as I stare him down. “You’re lying.”
