Am I really being the unreasonable one? Even if I don’t want to give this another shot, am I being a complete prick to Charlotte?
I open the nightstand and riffle around for the purple journal. That’s when my heart sinks when I realize the reason why it’s not here. Charlotte took it.
I race downstairs to a ferocious looking Anders and Eli as I look around for Charlotte.
“What did you do now?” Anders asks.
“Where’s Charlotte?”
“She left, had Piper come pick her up. We were having a great time before she went upstairs,” Eli says. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he looks pissed.
I don’t tell them that things are about to get fifty times worse as I spin on my heels and go upstairs, trying to remember the contents of each page.
Chapter thirty-eight
ItoldPipertopick me up before I went up to Mikael’s room, knowing that it wouldn’t be easy. I didn’t think that he would completely disregard me the way he did though. He was cold and compassionless. Even if Eli and Anders harbor some resentment toward how I left, they at least have an understanding of why I did what I did. And how their actions resulted in me leaving.
But it seems like Mikael only sees how I hurt him, not the cause of the effect. I know he’s stubborn, but this is a little much. He’s being hurtful, likeSorry your mom died, but you fucking hurt my feelings.
I had to leave before I said things I can’t take back. I still care for Mikael and crave his scent, but the ball is in his court. I’m not going to actively pursue someone who is so hurtful with no remorse.
And I might have stolen his notebook to understand him better. Our preferred way to communicate was through writing, and when I opened the purple spiral notebook and saw the first words were dear Charlotte, I took it. I wasn’t thinking, just saw my name and took his damn notebook.
I know he’s going to be mad, and part of me feels extremely guilty for taking it. He told me he read my journal before he agreed to be with me, and maybe this is me hoping the same thing will happen. That this tiny purple journal will give me the insight I need to bring us back together. I had already taken the journal, and Piper was already here, so I stole it. It sits in my purse like I just stole a Fabergè egg. I clutch it against my chest, both curious and scared of the contents.
The look on Anders’ and Eli’s faces when I left made my chest clench. But I had to get out of there. Being so close to Mikael like that with no resolution and sitting downstairs with them just didn’t feel right. It felt like ignoring our problems, and by now we’ve learned that it doesn’t work well when we just ignore feelings and don’t work together as a unit.
Piper looks tired as I look at her from the corner of my eye.
“Everything okay, Piper?”
She smiles and nods. “Just a little stressed about midterms.” I nod and think about how much Piper is always there for me, and I decide to push further.
“You know if something is bothering you, you can always tell me.”
Piper glances over at me before paying attention to the road. “I’m not sure if I’m built for this, Charles.”
“For what, med school?” She nods and sighs.
“I’m so used to being effortlessly good at things, but this shit is fucking hard. I’m not the best, and it seems like others are catching on so much quicker than me.”
“What would you do instead?” I ask, gauging her reaction. My best friend has talked about being a surgeon since she was in elementary school.
“Uh, I have no idea.”
“You were meant to be a surgeon, Piper. You’re one of the smartest, caring, and driven people I know. Don’t let not being the best be a reason to put yourself down.”
She smiles and nods at me. “See, Charles. This is why I keep you around.”
I smile back, feeling like I’m finally holding up my end of this friendship.
“How was the date?” she asks.
“Okay.”
She grunts in acknowledgement. “Things were never easy with him. I wouldn’t expect that to change now.” Piper doesn’t dislike Mikael, but he is the one she knows the least. It seems like a common theme. Mikael is not an easy person to know and guards his feelings. I sigh and nod my head, clenching my purse close to my chest. Fear and curiosity are heavy in my stomach when I think about what I’m going to find out about my difficult packmate.
The journal stares at me. I have it sitting on my nightstand, and I’ve debated for at least two hours on if I should read it or not. Part of me expected Mikael to show up banging on my door, asking for it back. But he doesn’t come, and my curiosity about how Mikael’s brain works overrules the side of me that thinks I should respect his privacy. With delicate fingers, I flip the first page.
