“Yeah, baby, everything’s fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
His green eyes glance at me before they are back on the road again. “Anders and Mikael might have gotten into it at practice, but I don’t want you to worry about it.”
I bite on my thumbnail and think about the time on the lake last winter. “Because of me?”
“I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry, don’t worry about them. You know how they get.” The only reason they would fight is because they disagree, just like last time, and my heart sinks knowing that Anders wants to be with me and that Mikael doesn’t.
I feel like crying again, and it pisses me off. Is this going to be me now? Crying over every single fucking thing that reminds me of the past or hurts my feelings. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing. I mean, clearly bottling everything up hasn’t done fuck all.
A large hand clamps down on my thigh and shocks me back to the present. “Hey, I don’t want you worrying about anything, okay?”
“Thank you for always being so good to me.”
“You’re my girl, of course I’m good to you.” He scoffs like I’m being stupid, and it makes me smile.
“Do you have to go back to work after you drop us off?”
He sighs and nods his head. “Yeah, I have to be back at the rink in about an hour.”
“Do…” Courage, Charlotte. Get some of your spine back. “Do you think that we could maybe do dinner or something soon?”
Eli beams while he holds the wheel. “I’d love that.”
“Maybe even all of us?”
His grin falls. “Anders and I for sure.”
History does seem to repeat itself. I sigh and nod my head, proud of myself for taking this step.
Hank is happy to be home as he trots around the house like he owns the place. He nudges Eli’s leg in thanks for paying his vet bill, adding a ridiculous amount of slobber to his pants, before he goes into my bedroom to lay on my bed.
“Guess sleeping at the vet wasn’t that great,” I say, feeling awkward now. I want to fast forward and be as comfortable with Eli as I was in the past, but I know that it won’t be so easy.
“So do you think you could maybe unblock my number, so I could text you?” he asks, his cheeks heating, and mine do the same in embarrassment. I nod my head and pull out my phone, then unblock all three of them in my contacts.
Eli smiles and leans over and kisses the side of my head. “Can I text you tonight?”
I smile and feel like I did when we just met and this was all fresh and new. “I’d like that.” He nods and awkwardly stands there. What do we do at this stage? To break the tension, I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him tightly.
“Thanks for everything with Hank. I’ll talk to you tonight.” He strokes my back lazily, and I can’t believe I’ve gone without his touch for so long. I feel addicted all over again to his scent, his touch, his everything. I need more Eli time.
He kisses the top of my head one more time before turning and heading back to work.
Eli does text me later in the night, but I feel restless and needy. How I went from acting like they didn’t exist to now feeling sad about not having Eli in my bed is jarring. Hank lies on my bed with me, and I pet his head as we watchHell’s Kitchentogether. Hank is a big Gordon Ramsey fan, and I hate to admit it, but I get it. What is it about fantasizing about the mean ones who are only nice to you? Yes, I have problems.
There’s a soft tap at my window, like a small pebble hitting the glass. It even garners Hank’s attention as his face perks up and glances toward the window. I get out of bed and squint out the window to see a very tense Anders pacing back and forth in my front yard. I crack the window open, the November air cold, and I shiver.
“Anders?”
“Hey,” he says softly.
“How long have you been out here?”
“A while.”
I shake my head and look at him. Guilt is heavy in my stomach when I think about how I yelled at him the other day.
