“You didn’t force me into anything, Charlotte. I wanted this. I was just done fighting it.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” She nods, but wraps her arms around herself. “As for the rest of the stuff, we’ll figure it out.”
“You can’t just keep saying we’ll figure it out. I’m an Omega. I need security. I find comfort in routines, scents, and familiarity. It feels like my life has been flipped upside down, and I don’t have control of anything. Do you know how much I fucking hate crying? Yet, here I am, a fucking mess in front of all of you.”
“Charlotte, you just went through a lot. Of course you’re going to have strong emotions afterwards. It was your first heat,” Anders reasons with her.
“I didn’t even ask for your consent.” She starts crying again, and Eli looks like he’s about to shit himself, and Anders sighs.
“Kulta, if you think for one second none of us wanted that, you’re out of your mind. It was the best time of my life.”
She wipes her eyes. “It’s time I won’t get back. Time we were supposed to have together,” she whispers to Anders.
Eli pets her hair. “We’ll figure it out. With you not being able to go back on campus, maybe it will make things easier?” When he says it, I internally wince, thinking about our schedule and all the work we need to put in before the draft.
Charlotte takes a few deep breaths. “Tomorrow’s Christmas.”
We all grimace externally then. “We haven’t had time to get anything,” Eli says, rubbing the back of his neck, showing how uncomfortable he is.
Charlotte smiles. “I think I’d just like to get some pictures of us together before… you know.”
Eli nods and smiles. “We can do that.”
“Plus, my mom always makes Christmas dinner. We can have it there and come back here before you all leave Monday morning.” She sighs. I can tell she’s keeping herself together, not wanting to cry anymore.
“I think maybe we should clean up and get some rest before we see your mom,” I say, and she blushes.
“I guess so.”
“You need help out of this giant cum blanket?” I ask, and Charlotte laughs and covers her face. Anders and Eli both start laughing. It’s nice to have some happiness in the air after that conversation, but uncertainty lingers in the back of my mind.
What the fuck are we going to do?
Chapter twenty-four
Christmaswasnice,butit was obvious all of us were thinking about tomorrow. My mom’s cooking was amazing, and she somehow made the guys all adorable knitted hats that match. They all agreed to put them on for a group picture. I automatically saved it as my screensaver.
It feels like tomorrow is the end. I know not really, but it’s the end of this simple life we’ve had with each other. The future is so unknown, and all it’s causing me is unbridled anxiety. I keep toning down my fight or flight instincts that tend to always lean toward flight.
Eli is petting Hank’s ears, and Mikael and Anders are thanking my mom for having them over for Christmas. She didn’t say anything to them, but I know her heart broke for them, the fact that they aren’t close enough to their families to have Christmas with them. In Anders’ case, it’s a matter of distance, but it’s clear that it’s deeper than that for Eli and Mikael.
“Don’t be strangers,” my mom says, and the guys all smile.
“There’s no chance of getting rid of us now,” Eli says, and my mom squeezes his cheek.
“Good.” His cheek is pink from embarrassment and my mom squeezing it, but he looks happy to have her approval. My mom wraps her arms around me and squeezes me tight. “I’ll see you tomorrow, honey.” I nod my head, and she pushes some rogue hairs behind my ears. I give Hank a few solid pats to the top of his head before heading out to Eli’s truck.
It’s lightly snowing, and there’s a decent breeze in the air, making the weather seem like how I feel on the inside. Turbulent, unstable, and depressing.
The drive to the cabin is quiet, all of us in our own heads about what tomorrow means. They go back to school, and who knows what happens with me? I have to notify Mercy about my heat. The repercussions of hiding my status could make my previous scholarships void.
It’s mean, but I wish they would have picked any other profession. Why couldn’t they want to be accountants, engineers, or fucking gym teachers? Anything that would make this simple, that would keep us all in one place. My chest feels tight, and all I can think about is how I’m being abandoned. I’m the one being left behind. I’m the one with no intense passion, but I’m also going to be the one to suffer the most with this separation.
Anders’ hand is on my palm, and he squeezes tightly. “Don’t think too much about it.”
“How can’t I? We have tonight, and then when will I see you again?”
