I despise that my life is out of control.
Dropping my forehead to that spot above his heart, I admit, “I don’t know how to function when things are out of control.”
“I know. None of us do.”
His fingers find their way to the base of my neck, where Diesel wraps that warm touch around my spine. Steadying me.
“You’re not alone to figure this out. I’m here. The team at LSS is good. We’ve got resources.”
When I step back, he doesn’t move his hand. But he does tip my chin up so I’m forced to look at his face.
Diesel’s got those dark brown eyes that are hard but warm, like mahogany wood. His hold a million stories, and hide a million more.
He skates his gaze over all the angles and lines of my face, finally focusing on my lips as his thumb brushes softly over my mouth.
I almost whimper. The ache inside of me is unbearably painful.
I think I want him to kiss me.
“I’d die to keep you safe, River.”
Everything stops inside of me.
My chest suddenly feels hollow, my heart somewhere down by my stomach. “No. Don’t say that.”
“Why? It’s true.”
He scoops me off of the floor, startling the breath out of me. The way he’s holding me is not like before when he was trying to get me to safety. This is cradling and its ridiculously intimate and the exact reason he needs a warning.
“Let’s get that arm cleaned up.”
No other man has ever picked me up like this. One of his muscular arms is behind my back, the other under my knees, the warmth of his forearm pressing to the back of my bare legs.
Every sensation is another overload to my nervous system.
He carries me into the bathroom, gently sits me on the edge of the tub.
Diesel kneels in front of me, which somehow makes the moment worse. More intimate in a way I’m not ready for. Not after he touched my face, brushed this thumb over my lips and carried me tight to his chest.
“Caleb knows I will do what it takes,” he says as he inspects my arm, closer this time.
Diesel reaches across the small bathroom for the first aid kit, pulling out and organizing supplies on the countertop.
“I knew you were military before you told me.”
He doesn’t say anything and I don’t pry. I learned that through Caleb. Don’t ask. Don’t focus on that. Let them be whatever they need to be to carry the burdens of what they’ve witnessed and done.
I let out a tired sigh, the pain in my chest growing stronger the more I think about my only brother.
“I shouldn’t have yelled at him. He’s fighting a war. What if?—”
Diesel’s gaze jumps to mine. “He’s going to call tomorrow.”
No worry. No doubt. Just pure belief that Caleb will call tomorrow.
He focuses on my arm again, his hand around my wrist and so he can tilt me toward the light.
“Caleb drove me crazy until he grew up and went into the Navy,” I say with fondness.
