“You know, I never really gave it much thought,” she confesses. “When I was with Thom, it was a no go, and then I found out I was pregnant and I knew I couldn’t have balanced my studies with that, so I just…put it on the back burner, I guess.”
“You know I’d support you if you wanted to,” I remark. “If you needed help with that, I would…”
“I don’t know,” she admits, looking between the twins. “I mean, I’m a mom now, I’m not sure I get to put myself first like that. Maybe when they’re a little older, but I wouldn’t want to spend all that time away from them, not if I could help it. Plus, it’s not like I’m going to have the room to work out of here—can you imagine this place filled with papers, on top of everything else?” She laughs as she gestures around, and I suppose she has a point. The apartment is tiny, even though she’s done everything she can to make it as homey as possible.
“You can’t stay here forever, though,” I point out. “The twins’ll grow faster than you realize. And you’ll need more space. Even just for you. You deserve that.”
“Okay, well, when you hear about an apartment that comes on the market that can fit a mother and two twins in it for the salary of a part-time server, you let me know,” she replies, raising her eyebrows.
I shrug. “Move in with me.”
The words come out of my mouth before I can consider how huge they are. She stares at me for a moment, like she thinks I might take it back, but I don’t. It’s the natural next step—I don’t want them living in this tiny apartment, not when I have a whole place of my own, not to mention the cabin out in the woods. Suddenly, having all that space to myself seems downright selfish, and I know more than anything that I want to fill it with the same light and noise I woke up to this morning.
“Martin, you can’t be?—”
“I’m totally serious,” I assure her. “Come live with me. I have the cabin, the one you first met me at, and that can be our home most of the time, but I also keep an apartment in the city that either of us could use if we were coming down here for work, or studying, for that matter. And when the twins get old enough to start school, we could move down here permanently. Or not. Whatever you think works.”
“I don’t know if I could impose on you like that,” she mumbles, and I cup her face in my hand, guiding it up to look at me.
“Hey,” I murmur. “You’re not imposing on me, alright? I’m offering. I want you to have a place that you can call home, somewhere you can raise our children that you know you’re never going to lose.”
Her teeth rest on her bottom lip for a moment, considering. I can tell this is a tough prospect for her, after she put so much faith in Thom to take care of her and he failed her as completely as he did, but I am not him, and I can only hope that I’ve done enough to prove that since we’ve known each other.
“I’ve never really had a home of my own,” she admits quietly. “A family home, I mean. I never thought I would. At least, anything more than an apartment like this.”
I smooth my thumb over her chin, my heart aching for her. I loathe the fact that she’s had to go through so much of this life feeling as if she’s alone in the world, but at least I can try and make right the lack that has lived with her for so long.
“I want you to have that,” I promise her. “You and the twins. It’s what you deserve.”
Slowly, the corners of her lips turn up into a smile, as it starts to sink in that what I’m telling her is real.
“The cabin?” she asks, wrinkling her nose up excitedly as she speaks.
I chuckle. “Yeah, the cabin.”
“Oh, I love that place.” She clasps her hand to her chest as she looks down at the twins. “Even that first night, I loved it. It just felt so…so safe, after everything that I’d been through.”
“Then let’s do it,” I tell her. “Let’s make that our home. I don’t want it all to myself, anyway, it’s far too big for one person?—”
“Not sure you’re going to be saying that when the twins get a little older,” she replies, raising her eyebrows.
“Guess I’ll have to cross that bridge when I come to it,” I reply, as I slip down onto the floor with Matty. She leans one hand on my knee for support as she reaches across to pick up a block from the floor, and I look down at her small, pudgy fingers, still learning, still growing.
“Guess you will,” Lila agrees, and she leans over to Ross to pinch his cheeks. “Hey, do you have work today?”
I shake my head. “Not that I know of…”
“You want to take the twins out on a walk around the city?” she suggests. “Maybe get some food, go to a park?”
She grins hopefully, but I know it’s more than just about getting out of the house. She finally feels free enough to leave without having to look over her shoulder all the time, which is exactly what I wanted when I chose to turn over all that information to the police. It’s not going to be long until they close in on Thomas now, and I suppose he’ll be behind bars soon enough. But even before that, I know he won’t dare show his face around Lila when he knows I’m there to take him on.
“I’d love that,” I agree. “You want me to get the stroller, get them strapped in?”
“If you can,” she calls as she heads to the bathroom to get ready. “Matty’s so wriggly, she might as well be made of jelly.”
I lift my daughter into my arms, looking her in the eye with a faux-serious expression.
“Are you going to give me trouble, little girl?” I ask her. She just laughs, too young to have the faintest clue what I’m talking about, just glad to be included in the conversation.
