“You…you took it over so you could see me?” I repeat the words, feeling dumb.
He nods. “Let me get the checkup done first,” he suggests. “Make sure they’re hitting all their milestones…”
I nod, slumping down into a seat next to the door as he goes through all the tests of weight and measurement and reflex that he’s meant to.
I wish I could feel the pride I know I should when I see that they keep up with all of them with ease, but all I can think about is the fact thatheis here. Thatheis with them. Holding them, talking to them, tending to them, like a good father should. For a man who seemed to want to have nothing to do with them, he’s sure acting pretty involved now.
It’s so surreal, seeing him interacting with them. Even at their little age, I can see flashes of him in them. In their eyes, the shape of their noses. Watching them together makes me feel ridiculous for believing for an instant that I would be able to keep him out of their lives. He is part of them; he makes up half of them. There’s no way to deny that, no matter how much I might have wanted to.
“They seem to be doing really well,” he remarks as he scribbles down a couple of notes and taps something into his computer. “You’re doing a wonderful job so far, Lila.”
“Thanks,” I mumble distantly, hardly able to take it in. Talk about whiplash. Going from this guy walking out of my hospital room like he never wanted to lay eyes on me again, to the same man telling me that I’m doing a great job with our children—I don’t know where the hell I stand.
He gently puts them back into their stroller; the way he lifts them, it’s clear that he’s well-versed in dealing with children. Is it just part of his job, or does he have other kids of his own? I wish I could ask, but I don’t dare. I don’t know if I even want to find out.
What if there’s a wife in the picture? What if he was cheating when he slept with me? I know I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I don’t want to be a home-wrecker, not on top of everything else…
“Martin,” I blurt out at last. “I… Why did you take over this appointment?”
He clips the twins back into the stroller before he turns his attention to me. For a moment, I think he didn’t hear what I had to say. But then he lifts his gaze, and there’s a serious expression on his face that catches me off guard.
“Because we need to talk, Lila.”
“Here?”
He shakes his head. “Not here,” he replies at once. “If any of my colleagues were to find out about this…” He winces, the mere thought alone enough to throw him off.
“I’m not risking it,” he explains. “But I’d like to take you out for dinner. Somewhere neutral, where we can talk about what we’re going to do about…this.”
He gestures between us, at the twins in the stroller. Matty looks as though she’s ready to doze off, while Ross is still peering around the room, taking the place in with great interest.
“In public?” I ask.
He frowns. “What do you…?”
“I mean, if you don’t want your colleagues to find out…”
“They don’t follow me in my spare time,” he replies, cocking an eyebrow. “At least, not that I’m aware of.”
I draw in a quick breath. I want to ask more questions, but I don’t know how much he’s willing to hear from me, at least not so early on.
“And what about…anyone else?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is there anyone else who you wouldn’t want to know about this?” I ask awkwardly.
I don’t know why I can’t just come out and say it, but it feels like the words are hitched at the back of my throat. As much as I just want to get them out and be done with it, I can’t help but feel that I’ll scare him off. Now that he’s actually willing to be alone in a room with me again, I can’t risk letting this slip through my fingers. If not for myself, then for the twins, for the sake of their future.
“Oh, you mean, am I married?” he clarifies bluntly.
I nod, holding my breath for a moment, but he shakes his head.
“No, I’m not married,” he promises me. “I was a long time ago, but not anymore. And my ex, she doesn’t keep tabs on me.”
I let out the breath, a rush of relief coursing through me. Okay, that’s something. So, I haven’t just dropped a nuclear bomb into the middle of an existing relationship. That has to count for something.
He sighs as he looks at me, as though it’s just striking him how little the two of us know about each other.
