But intervening on m’thoughts —her dress fit her perfectly.And the uncles hadna seen her since she was a bairn.
Ryan continued the briefing.He spoke of strike lines and drones and Sun Tzu. Every word sounded rehearsed, as though he had delivered this exact speech afore and was only waiting for the places where it had gone wrong last time.
Charlie joked about rock music and drones.
My skin prickled when Aenghus mentioned the weather. “Twill be a fair day.”
I asked, “How dost ye ken?”
The uncles gave each other a sideways glance.
Ryan explained, “We sent a soldier ahead to check.”
But there had been something in Aenghus’s voice, he had said the day would be fair as if he had watched the same fair day dawn more than once.
I met Max’s eyes. His brow was drawn down.
Ryan said, “We have the element of surprise, I’m sure of it.” His eyes met Charlie’s, for a moment too long.
Max asked, “How can ye be certain?”
He said, “Well, I don’t, not really, things change in this war all the time, but honestly nephew, this time it’s bound to start changing in our favor.”
Max nodded, looking down on the map, a shadow over his face.
I kept my face still. “This time?”
Ryan didn’t meet my eyes. “Yeah, there have been a lot of battles, this one should go our way, we deserve it.”
“Aye.”
They continued talking while I wondered,Hae I stood at this table before?
Hae I said my goodbyes tae Alexandria and gone tae war?
The questions filled me with dread.
If the uncles had the power tae do this over,why?What was goin’ tae happen on this field?
Had we come back bloodied — or nae at all?Did we lose this war?
After the briefing,Alexandria drew me aside tae ask why I had been so quiet. I gave her the answer a husband gives his wife on the morning of a battle: that I was thinking of steel and blood and the things men must do.
I dinna tell her the rest. I dinna speak of my concerns. I dinna tell her that the coat on m’back remembered a tailor who had never measured me.
That I had overheard Ryan say ‘third time’s the charm.’ What had he meant?
The phrase ran through my head. As I sheathed the sword at m’hip, and ran my fingers through m’hair.
Third time’s the charm.
Och nae.
Now when I looked in the eyes of the uncles I saw that they were tired.
Ryan sounded not like a man headed tae war, but someone tryin’ tae fix a broken wheel. His eyes dinna hold emotion, but looked blind tae suffering and loss. I had seen men with this look, they nae longer saw life and death in the battles tae come. Instead they become detached, thinkin’ only on the strategy. This was a dangerous commander tae follow intae war, he was liable tae send us intae a battle we couldna win.
Aenghus’s voice, when he had said the weather would be fair, had carried the echo of a man who had already lived this day twice and buried the dead both times.
