I chuckle inwardly. She actually sympathizes with me.Mon Dieu, do I have another surprise for her... “I’m actually the one who suggested it. I did it for both of us.”
My mom looks like she’s about to fall off the couch. She sits there, wide-eyed, taking a long time to put the glass on the table—maybe because she fears she’ll actually drop it. “You what?! You suggested it?” she exclaims. “You stupid boy! What were you thinking? Have I taught you nothing?”
I shrug. “Not really. Except how to make my husband absolutely miserable, perhaps. I mean, look at Dad. What did he do that was so terrible that you had to take everything from him?”
She tenses up, her lips forming into a thin line. “I only gave him what he deserved. I trusted him, but he lied to me for years, cheating his way through our marriage like it was nothing.”
I swallow hard. I may be an adult, but it’s never a good age to hear that your father is an adulterer. Part of me knew it had to be bad, and this was always the likely scenario. But actually hearing it still sucks.
My mom continues. “He always said he was going on business trips, and I was stupid enough to believe him... until a woman called him at home and I answered, and the truth came to light. It turned out he was in hotels in other cities having affairs all along.”
Fuck. Business trips? Affairs? I can feel myself panicking. Today, on the day before my wedding, I find out that my dad—who in my last message I basically begged to come to my wedding—is a cheating asshole. All my life, I looked up to him, tried to win his approval, and I really want him to like Cody. But why? What’s the point? He couldn’t even take his relationship seriously, so why should I care what he thinks about mine?
My mom scoffs, sighs, and picks up her glass from the table before taking a big sip and continuing. “Mind you, if your soon-to-be husband ever tells you he’s going on a business trip, pack your bags and start running because every man who says that is a liar.”
A sick feeling rises inside me. I don’t know if I want to vomit or chug a whole glass of wine, and ultimately decide on the latter. I reach over for my glass of wine, taking a big sip before telling her the truth.
“Cody goes on business trips all the time. It’s part of his job.”
Upon hearing that, my mother almost chokes on her drink. This conversation with me might just be the end of her—of both of us. “On business trips all the time?! And you have a prenup?! My dear boy, what on earth are you doing?! Are you in an open relationship?”
I curse internally, my stomach twisting. I trust Cody, and I don’t want to be led to believe that my fiancé is a cheater, especially the day before my wedding. I don’t want to be in this conversation.
“I most certainly am not. But Cody’s not like Dad.”
“All men are the same,” she replies, brushing me off. But then, as if she only just remembered who she’s talking to, she smiles at me. “Except you, of course, sweetie. You’re different. Which is why I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this wedding.”
I try to push my conflicting feelings down and remind myself I know Cody, whereas she doesn’t.
“It doesn’t matter how you feel. All that matters is how I feel. I trust and love him; we’re not like you. I got the prenup because I want to protect us both from what happened to you and Dad. If things go wrong between us—which I doubt—I don’t want to be the one who ruins his life. Or him mine.”
“But you deserve so much more! You’re so sweet and smart, and you deserve to be treated like a princess.”
Princess. Funny she should say that; it’s what Cody calls me all the time, and hearing her say that calms me down.
“I am. Even with the prenup, he shares things with me, buys me stuff, and pays bills unasked. Besides, I have plans for myself. If things go how I want them to, I’ll eventually be richer than he is.”
My mom’s mouth opens and closes again. She stares at me for a long time before saying something that only sounds like she’s accepting it. “Alright, it’s your life. I’ll pray you won’t end up like I did with your dad.”
I sigh. “I’m not you, Mom, and this is about me and my wedding day. Which you have to support, or you can’t be there.”
This time, she seems to give up. “Alright, fine. We’ll see how it goes. For now, let’s watch a movie or something.”
I quickly agree, happy for any excuse not to have to talk anymore. But as the night progresses, my nerves and irritation only grow. On the one hand, I can’t wait until this day is over, but then again ... tomorrow’s my wedding day. And between the stress my mother has caused me to have, not knowing if I’ll have a wedding cake, and the insecurity about whether my dad will show up, I can’t find it in myself to be excited about the day ahead.
Chapter 37: Luc
My night is restless. I’m stuck between lying awake and having nightmares, but the problem with nightmares is that most of the time, you don’t know you’re in one. Because of that, my wedding day is already a disaster before it’s even started.
At first, in my dream, Cody doesn’t show up and I’m left waiting for hours, only to have everyone laughing at me for being left at the altar. Then Cody is suddenly there, but he says he’s been cheating on me for months, then he kisses my friend Xavier right in front of me and everyone else. When I finally wake up, I feel even more panicked and miserable than before.
The dream may not be real, but the pain I wake up to certainly is, and it leaves me too upset to sleep for hours on end. When I finally do fall back to sleep, I end up having another nightmare. In this one, I’m a child again, and my mother screams at my father for cheating. Then, suddenly, I’m back to my current age, and the fight between my parents continues in the middle of my wedding venue. And to make things worse, Cody eventually says he doesn’t want to marry me anymore.Merde, what a pain.
That’s as far as sleeping goes, and looking at the clock beside my bed tells me it’s only ten past four. Just fucking perfect. I have one of the most important days of my life ahead of me, and I’m already exhausted.
It’s no surprise that everything my mom said yesterday got under my skin. She basically accused my fiancé of cheating on me because he goes on business trips. But she doesn’t know I’m the main reason for those trips. Most of the time, he has to go to Brussels for work, which wouldn’t be necessary if we hadn’t moved to Besançon. It’s my own fault, and I must ask myself: did I mess up my relationship? Have I already begun the process of losing him?
I shake my head at myself. Cody’s not like that; he’s no cheater. He tells me he loves me all the time, has never once rejected me when I’ve seduced him, and fighting with me really upsets him. Those are just some of the things that prove Cody’s a good guy. He’s the best, sweetest, hottest, sexiest, kindest, and most balanced man I’ve ever met. I love and trust him completely, or at least I want to. I feel like I can.
