Rye took several deep breaths, long and slow, and then let his arms come down a bit as he cautiously lifted his eyes to look at Jake. When their eyes met, Jake’s heart broke even more. Rye was terrified. Of him. Or... of him when he’d... been over top of Rye. When he’d stretched up and over Rye. Almost covering him.
His stomach dropped. “God, I’m sorry,” he said one more time, and he settled all the way back down so he was facing Rye with his head on his pillow, at Rye’s level again. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize—”
“I didn’t either,” Rye said, shaking his head hard. “I didn’t know that was going to happen. I can’t always... I can’t control it sometimes. And I-I hate that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It felt sudden and scary, like I was back there, back with—with him, and like he was going to—”
Rye cut himself off and, to Jake’s surprise, scooted over and wrapped his arm around Jake’s waist. His head pressed into Jake’s chest.
“I’m okay now,” he said quietly, and his voice shook. “But please don’t do that again.”
“God, no. Of course not. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” The apology seemed like it wasn’t enough. But Rye nodded into him anyway and somehow held onto him tighter. And when Jake returned the embrace, his arms surrounding Rye as gently and lovingly as he could, Rye’s body shuddered, and he cuddled up against Jake even more.
“This is better. I’m... I’m better now. Thank you,” Rye said.
Jake fumbled to find any words, and when he failed, he just nodded and kissed the top of Rye’s head. And they lay there for another few minutes while Jake’s racing heart slowed. Eventually, Rye pushed away and turned over to grab Jake’s phone and check the time.
“It’s nine fifteen,” he said, and he turned back to Jake, frowning. “Does that mean it’s too late?”
“Hmm, no, not if we go now. The tide’s all the way out at ten, and it’ll be good for maybe an hour or so?” Or at least, he hoped. He’d only glanced at the tide chart online a few days ago. He started to push up onto his elbow, but promptly stopped himself. “Hand me my phone, and I can check?”
Rye gave him a tiny smile that looked hard-fought, then reached back behind himself again to get Jake’s phone. He handed it to Jake.
“Thanks.” Jake unlocked it and opened up his internet browser, then sorted through the sea of tabs he had open until he found the tide chart.
Just as he was about to confirm that he’d remembered correctly—the tide would be the lowest from ten to about eleven thirty, he heard Rye chuckle. He lifted his eyes to see Rye staring at him, his cheeks pink. Rye shook his head, and Jake grinned at him. “What?”
“Your... hair,” Rye said. Then, he scooted closer to Jake and reached up to run his fingers through Jake’s hair. “It’s worse in the morning than when you’ve been wearing your beanie.”
“My beanie?” Jake narrowed his eyes, but when Rye repeated the motion, his tongue peeking out the side of his mouth as he carefully brushed Jake’s hair back and flattened it, Jake groaned quietly. “God, why does that feel so good?”
Rye laughed a little. “I... like it when you, um, touch me like this too,” he admitted. “And, yes, your beanie. When you take it off, and your hair is all over the place, I think...” Rye’s cheeks flushed, and his hand fell back to Jake’s chest. “I think you look really silly. And... and really... adorable.”
Jake closed his eyes as heat flooded his cheeks, and he dropped his chin. “I’m not sure anyone’s ever called me that before.”
“Silly? Oh, Kris does all the time, I bet.”
“No. Adorable.”
Rye chuckled, and Jake felt a kiss onhisforehead this time. “Well, you are. And you’re also...” Rye’s hand shifted a little lower on Jake’s chest. “You’re also, um, really... handsome. I hope... that’s okay for me to say.”
The blush in his cheeks got hotter, but he lifted his eyes to Rye again and nodded. “It is,” he reassured. “It’s okay when I call you beautiful, too, right? Because”—Jake shook his head once—“because youare.” He brought his hand up slowly, carefully, and let his fingers run along Rye’s jawline as he held Rye’s gaze. Stormy blue eyes that were also bright and eager stared back at him, until Rye blinked and looked away with a tiny nod.
“Yeah. It’s . . . okay.”
Jake’s thumb smoothed along Rye’s cheek, and he gently encouraged Rye to tilt his head back. “Can I kiss you?”
Rye’s expression softened, and he managed another of those hard-earned smiles. “Yes, please.”
He shifted forward just a little, being surenotto raise himself up off the bed over Rye, and they kissed. Slow and soft and sweet. And when he pulled back, Rye whimpered a little, dipped back in for another quick kiss, and then laughed.
“If we don’t get up, we won’t catch the tide pools before the tide comes back in?” Rye asked, and Jake nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right, yeah. You want to go?”
With a smile that looked maybe a little easier than his previous ones, Rye pushed himself up onto one elbow and nodded. “I do.”
“Alright,” Jake said. “Let’s go, yeah.”
He waited until Rye sat up all the way and started to stand before pushing himself up too. And when Rye disappeared out the door and down the hall to get changed a moment later, Jake stood and headed to his dresser to find some clothes to wear.
