Jakecarefullysidesteppedaroundthe small pools of water, using his cane to help himself balance on the rocks while simultaneously trying not to step on anything that looked like a living creature. Ahead of him, Rye was kneeling down, motioning frantically.
“Jake! It’s a... a starfish! Look, look! Hurry!”
With a deep laugh, Jake shook his head. “If itisa starfish, it’s not going anywhere. I’m almost there, hang on.”
“It’s almost . . . it’s purple! Is that normal?”
Jake laughed again and stopped just to the side of Rye, glancing down into the pool of water. Sure enough, there was a small sea star clinging to a rock at the bottom of the pool, alongside a couple of urchins and an anemone. He grinned.
“Ah, that’s a bat star. They’re usually orange, though.” Slowly, and with the help of his cane, Jake knelt down next to Rye to get a closer look. The sea star was smaller than his palm, and its distinctive shape—with the central body portion being wider than the arms were long—made it easily identifiable. “These are very common around here, but not in this color. Ah, this is neat. Nice find.”
Rye beamed with the praise and then repeated the name of the sea star. “A bat star, hmm. Ah, wait until I tell my mom. This is so neat. And what’s this?” He pointed to the urchin. “An urchin, right? But what kind?”
Jake smiled again. He loved Rye’s enthusiasm. It was so innocent, so beautiful. “You won’t believe this. Ready?”
Rye glanced up at Jake, a silly half-smile on his lips. “Yeah?”
Jake’s heart fluttered, and he winked at Rye. “That sea urchin right there, the purple one, is called—get this—a...purplesea urchin. Not to be confused with the much more rareredsea urchin.”
Rye’s eyes narrowed at Jake before he shook his head, grinning. “You think you’re funny. But you’re not.”
“I dunno, you seem to laugh at my dumb jokes most of the time.”
“I’m just being nice.”
“Oh, I see.”
Jake couldn’t hold in his laughter anymore, but he also didn’t trust his leg in this position, so he quickly pushed himself up to stand with the help of his cane, and then he let himself laugh, shaking his head.
They continued around the tide pools, finding more sea stars and urchins as well as some crabs, a few sculpins, and several different types of snails. As the tide began to come back in, Rye and Jake carefully picked their way back over the rocks to the shore, and then they started back toward home, Rye’s hand slipping into Jake’s. They walked side by side, maybe a little slower than usual, which was good—Jake’s leg hadn’t exactly loved all the kneeling and walking on uneven surfaces that much. But he’d have done it a hundred times over to see the beautiful smile on Rye’s face.
He squeezed Rye’s hand, and when Rye looked up at him, his hair blew back out of his face with the gentle breeze coming in off the water. His blue eyes sparkled with more of that same enthusiasm.
“That was neat, huh?”
“Very,” Rye said, and his smile grew before he pulled his gaze away, back to the sandy beach in front of them. With a quiet voice, Rye said, “I’m sorry. About this morning, I mean. I... guess I didn’t realize how much yesterday affected me. And... and that I can’t... have you over me when we’re in bed together. I’m—” Rye stopped walking, and Jake stopped next to him, his heart aching as he watched Rye close his eyes tightly and shake his head. “I’m sorry I’m like this, I wish—I wish I was just... normal. For you. So you could be—”
“Don’t say ‘happy,’” Jake interrupted, “because Iamhappy. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, a million times over. And I love you. Right now. Just as you are. You don’t ever need to apologize for anything, or explain anything, or try to be anything else for me. I love you just like this.” He wanted to make sure Rye believed him, and so he lifted his hand up, as he had so many times now, and he touched Rye’s cheek, smoothing his thumb along Rye’s soft skin. And he bent down, slowly, and kissed Rye’s forehead and his cheeks and then his lips with the most tender, softest kisses he could manage.
A tear slipped down Rye’s cheek, and he shook his head, though he didn’t pull away. “But, I... This morning, I... I’m not...” Frustrated, Rye shook his head again. “Everything is so hard with me. Nothing iseasy, nothing is—”
“Rye,” Jake said, stopping him gently with another kiss to the forehead. “Rye, loving you has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t want anyone or anything else. Just you. Only you. Forever.”
Rye looked ready to protest again, but Jake shook his head.
“Anything we have to work through, we will. Like this morning. It doesn’t bother me to have to be careful about certain things, it won’t scare me away. And you’re worth it. You’re everything to me. This”—Jake lowered his forehead to touch Rye’s—“is worth everything. I love you.”
Rye sort of... laughed, but it was a rough laugh that was followed by a few more tears falling and a quiet sniffle and then a small shake of his head. “I have a hard time believing all of that. Not that... not that I don’t believe you. Just that I don’t understand how I could be enough for you. Or for anyone. I... I-I’ll keep trying, though. To believe you, I mean. I... Iwantto.”
A warmth settled deep in Jake’s chest, and he lifted his chin and dropped another tiny, light kiss on Rye’s forehead. “Should we get back?” he asked softly, and Rye nodded.
“Yeah.”
They started off again toward the fifty-three stairs that would take them back up to the house, Rye’s hand clutching Jake’s a little bit tighter than it had been before.
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Rye
