“Hey, Sam, we’re here,” Ollie said gently, setting his hand on Sam’s shoulder.
With a weak nod, Sam straightened in his seat and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Y-you sure you’re... You don’t have to come with me, you know, Oll. It’s—” He couldn’t finish as all the air left his lungs. He closed his eyes and let Ollie pull him into an embrace—an awkward position in the front seat of Ollie’s small sedan.
The truth was, he was equal parts relieved and terrified to have Ollie with him. Relieved because he didn’t want to have to do this alone—to face the possibility that his uncle might not make it through surgery, which, according to his sister, was actually a possibility. And terrified because he didn’t want Ollie to have to deal with any hate or vitriol from his parents.
Of course, Ollie had insisted on accompanying him to Boston, despite the fact that he had work piling up, a conference presentation to prepare for, and a minor but not insignificant fear of hospitals. And earlier, while Sam had somehow managed to pack them a duffle bag full of clothes for the trip—thankful Ollie had at least a couple of changes of clothes stashed at Sam’s apartment—Ollie had made all the other travel arrangements. He’d called Sam’s sister to get more specific details on the surgery and Uncle Barry’s condition; he’d called the airline to secure their flight, even managing to arrange for them to have seats next to each other on the otherwise full airplane; he’d reserved a rental car for them once they got to Boston and booked a hotel room close to the hospital; and he’d contacted both his own boss and Sam’s boss to let them know of the family emergency and to get approval for their time off.
And now, Sam was even more glad Ollie was with him. He couldn’t begin to imagine how lost he would feel otherwise. Although they were in a hurry, Ollie held him for just a few moreminutes before they separated. Ollie then touched Sam’s cheek gently and gave him a small smile.
“He’ll be okay, Sam. And he’ll be happy to see you,” Ollie said quietly.
Sam swallowed tightly and nodded, but still couldn’t speak.
“Come on, let’s go.” Ollie leaned over and kissed Sam on the cheek, then pulled away again and exited the car.
Shaking now, Sam opened his own door and stood, a rush of warm, musty air and exhaust fumes hitting him. The mixture made him nauseous all over again. In a second it seemed, Ollie was at his side, taking his hand, steadying him. He let Ollie lead him through the parking structure and then across the bridge to the airport.
It was busy—apparently Monday evening was a popular time to fly—and they ended up having to wait in a fairly long line at the self-check-in kiosk to get their boarding passes. Ollie didn’t let go of his hand until the last moment, and as soon as their boarding passes were printed, Ollie took his hand again. Ollie then navigated them through the crowds until they reached the line for the security check, showing a confidence that Sam wasn’t used to seeing from him when they were around so many other people.
As they stood, inching forward every few minutes with the slow-moving line, Sam worked hard to steady his breathing and keep more fresh tears from falling. Ollie squeezed his hand gently, and when Sam glanced over at him, Ollie smiled softly. Sam blinked and looked down.
“This... wasn’t how I wanted you to meet Uncle Barry, you know,” he said.
“I know.”
“And my sister.”
“She was very nice on the phone. Says she’s looking forward to seeing you,” Ollie said. Sam felt Ollie’s thumb rub the back of his hand. They moved a few feet forward in the security line.
“Jaz... she’s never been terrible to me. Indifferent, I guess. But that was also a long time ago, and... she was trying not to be influenced by my parents, maybe, but still, I dunno, stay in their good graces? It’s... complicated. And I mean, we usually talk every few months, but...”
“Just remember, Sam,” Ollie said, his voice low, “we’re not going for them—your parents. We’re going now to be there for Barry. You’re not obligated in any way to do anything more than that, no matter what they do or say.”
Sam’s stomach clenched with uncertainty, but he nodded. Ollie was right. The only reason they were going was to be there for Barry. Ollie was well aware of how awful his parents had been to him in the past. But in the back of his mind, he knew he’d hoped Ollie wouldn’t ever have reason to even meet his parents, much less under such unexpected and already emotional circumstances. He could already feel his mother’s piercing, disappointed glare, hear his father’s scoff of disapproval.
Ollie’s hand tightened in his again, and they moved another few steps forward. Sam felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and he stuffed his hand in to pull it out. The notification showed a text message from Katherine. Tears welled up in his eyes as he unlocked the phone and tapped on the notification.
Katherine (7:57 p.m.):Sending the biggest hugs ever along with all my love and good thoughts for you and your uncle. I know how scary this is, but just know whatever happens, Sam, you’re loved and you’re not alone. XOXOXO
Sam reached up and swiped at the tears in his eyes, and he felt Ollie’s arm wrap around his waist. “Y-your mom, she’s just...”
“She’s the best,” Ollie murmured.
Sam nodded, and they moved another step forward in the line. And with trembling fingers, he typed a quick response, his heart full.
Sam (7:59 p.m.):Thank you, Mrs. E. Your message means more than you know. I’m grateful to have Ollie with me, and I feel very loved. We’ll keep you updated. <3
He shoved his phone back into his pocket and managed a small smile. Then he pulled Ollie into a big hug and let out a long sigh. “I love you.”
And Ollie breathed a kiss on his cheek, which was, in that moment, just as good as any declaration of love he might someday be capable of, and held Sam even tighter.
Chapter 15
The flight was smooth but long, especially since Ollie had never really figured out how to sleep on airplanes. He did, however, manage to eat something—one of the in-flight snack boxes the flight attendant recommended—and he could tell that took at least a little of the worry off Sam’s shoulders.
By the time they arrived at Logan International Airport, deplaned, and got into their rental car, it was nearly 7:00 a.m., and Sam’s anxiety was ticking back up. Ollie had been working overtime to manage his own anxiety, and it was a relief when it was finally just the two of them in the small vehicle. After his assault, airports had proven to be particularly challenging for him to navigate, and he’d been lucky to always have Sam with him, acting as a buffer between him and everyone else, making sure no one bumped into him—especially older men and especially from behind. But this time, for this trip, Ollie had needed to step up and take care of both of them, which he managed, somehow.
They’d already decided Ollie would drive—although Sam was familiar with the city and knew his way around, he was in no condition to be behind the wheel. So instead, as Ollie got the car on the road and began their short drive to the hospital, Sam sat in the passenger seat, alternately glancing at the clock and fidgeting, his knee bouncing up and down nervously.
