Thankfully, traffic was light, and they reached the hospital at just about 7:15 a.m. Ollie parked the car in the first spot he found, and before he’d even turned the car off, Sam’s seat belt was unfastened, and he was pushing his door open. Ollie hurried to follow, fumbling slightly to find the lock button on the unfamiliar key fob after he climbed out of the vehicle.
Sam stood waiting, his jaw tight and his expression grim. But as Ollie stepped up next to him and took his hand, Sam let out a shuddering sigh and turned to face Ollie, closing his eyes. Ollie quickly pulled Sam into a warm hug, brushing a kiss on his cheek.
“Any updates from your sister?” Ollie asked quietly.
Sam shook his head and straightened back up. “Not since just after we got off the plane.”
“Okay, so hopefully we still have time.”
“Y-yeah. Um . . .”
A wave of fear and apprehension seemed to ripple off of Sam, and he stumbled back a step toward the car. Ollie immediately pulled him back into a hug, wrapping both of his arms solidly around his boyfriend. He knew the feeling all too well—he’d lived through it when his father had been sick. Every visit to the hospital and then every visit to the hospice care facility... filled with the overwhelming uncertainty of not knowing whether it would be the last.
“I’m here, Sam,” he soothed, rubbing one hand up and down Sam’s back. “Whatever happens. And from everything you’ve told me about Barry, he’s strong, and he’ll fight to get through this.”
“Yeah,” Sam said, his voice muffled against Ollie’s neck. But despite Sam’s agreement, Ollie still felt Sam shaking, and he held his boyfriend just a little tighter for just a little longer.
Finally, after another few minutes, Ollie pulled back a bit, pressed a soft kiss to Sam’s lips, and took his hand again. “Ready?”
Sam nodded weakly but then let Ollie lead him out of the parking garage and through the entrance to the hospital. Keeping a firm grip on Sam’s hand, Ollie followed the signs for the surgical ICU, winding them back into the building until they finally entered a large waiting room.
The room was quiet and warm; only two other visitors waited, seated on opposite sides of the room, and Ollie didn’t recognize either of them. Pushing down his own anxieties, he squeezed Sam’s hand and then led them over to the reception desk near a set of double doors. A man about Ollie’s age with long blond hair tied back into a ponytail looked up at them with a kind smile as they stopped in front of the desk.
“Can I help you?” the man asked.
Ollie squeezed Sam’s hand again and then cleared his throat. “Yes, hi, good morning. We’re here to see Bartholomew Reynolds.”
The man grinned. “Ah, Barry! Yep. He’s back in pre-op, I think. Let me just call nurse Janice, and she can take you back. Although...” He paused and picked up the phone, then pushed a button. “Janice, hi... Yeah, I’ve got visitors for Barry... Yep... Yep, okay. Thanks.”
He set the phone back down in its holder and then looked up at Ollie and Sam again. “Nurse Janice will be just a minute or two. You’re welcome to wait right here or have a seat. But I think Barry’s niece is already back with him, and only two visitors are allowed at a time. So I’m afraid only one of you can go back right now.”
Ollie nodded. He’d suspected as much. “We understand. Thank you.”
Sam didn’t seem to have thought so far ahead, however, and Ollie felt him tremble as they moved a few feet away from the reception desk.
“M-maybe I-I can text Jaz, and...” Sam stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, but his hands were shaking so badly that he nearly dropped it again. Ollie quickly reached out and took the phone from him.
“It’s okay, Sam. I’ll stay here in the waiting room. You can go be with Barry and Jaz. And”—he reached up and touched Sam’s cheek—“I’ll be right here when you come back out.”
Sam nodded and then blinked, his blue eyes stormy and wet with fresh tears. “O-okay. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense, and...” He trailed off as the double doors opened and a short, plump woman with bright red hair, shining green eyes, and a wide smile stepped out.
“Hi there. Are you here to see Barry?” Her voice was kind, just like the man’s at the reception desk.
Sam straightened up as though resetting himself somehow, and Ollie felt relief wash over him.
“Yeah. I’m Sam, his nephew.”
The nurse’s smile grew. “Oh, wonderful! Jasmine said you were on your way, and Barry is really looking forward to seeing you.” She glanced at Ollie, and her smile faltered just a little. “We can only have two visitors at a time. You understand?”
Ollie nodded and then turned to Sam and stretched up just enough to brush a light kiss on his cheek. “I’ll be here.” He took Sam’s hand one more time, giving it a gentle squeeze. Then he handed Sam his phone back and stepped away as nurse Janice led Sam back through the double doors into the ICU to see his uncle.
The doors shut all the way, the final click echoing loudly through the quiet room. Ollie flinched at the noise but then steadied himself with a deep breath and turned to nod a thanks to the man at the reception desk. After taking another few steadying breaths, he found an empty chair in one corner of the room, sat, and lowered his head into his hands.
Hospitals. They were filled with bad memories. And not just the memories he had of visiting his dad when he was a kid. No, his more recent memories from just about two years ago were maybe even worse in a way.
When his father had gotten sick, there’d been a lot of testing, a couple of surgeries, and several other procedures. But the cancer had progressed faster than anyone expected, and the initial optimistic prognosis of four to six months had quickly deteriorated into only weeks and then only days. He’d spent too much time sitting in uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room at the University of Washington Medical Center, trying to occupy himself with reading or doing homework while his dad received treatments that ultimately didn’t help. His cancer had been too rare, too invasive, too aggressive.
But the whole time, he’d had his mom, and his dad had been ridiculously positive and optimistic, and all of the nurses and doctors and technicians had all been kind and caring and... everything he’d needed.
