Ollie held his breath, his gaze not leaving Sam’s face. “Hurry up and get changed, so you can join me?” Ollie said. And finally, Sam looked back up at Ollie, his lips slightly parted as he sucked in a sharp breath.
Sam nodded. “Yeah, yeah, um... I’ll be... just a minute.” He sidestepped, still keeping his hands stuffed in his pockets, but he gave Ollie another look, and Ollie felt heat spread from his chest outward as Sam swallowed hard. “I’ll just... yeah.”
“Okay,” Ollie said, letting a smile creep back onto his face. He’d expected Sam to be surprised, but his reaction went even beyond that.
With a slight nod, Sam tore his eyes away from Ollie and grabbed the swim trunks he’d set out on the bed, then disappeared into the bathroom. Ollie’s smile grew just a little more, and he turned and headed out to the balcony, stopping just outside the open doors to savor the warmth of the summer afternoon. Then he copied Sam’s actions from minutes ago, reaching into the hot tub with one hand to test the water temperature. It was pleasantly warm but not too hot, and he climbed in and had just settled down when Sam came back out of the bathroom, carrying two towels with him.
Shirtless Sam was something of a masterpiece, really—well-defined muscles, smooth skin, a natural tan. And although the sight wasn’t new to Ollie, he couldn’t help staring as Sam made his way back outside to join Ollie in the hot tub.
Sam stopped in the doorway and then reached up nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, forcing his eyes up to meet Ollie’s. “You... you’re sure about this still, Oll?”
Ollie nodded almost eagerly. Hewassure. He was sure he could at least sit in the hot tub with his boyfriend. They could sit there and relax and... maybe even sit close enough that hecould finally feel Sam’s skin against his own. And he could trust that if he felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable, he could tell Sam that, and they could back up a step. Because Sam loved him and respected him and would never do anything without full, clear consent.
Ollie pushed himself across the hot tub to the side closest the door, where Sam still stood, and leaned his elbows over the edge.
“Join me, Sam.”
He reached out toward his boyfriend, and Sam moved forward slowly, grasping Ollie’s hand in his. After a gentle tug of encouragement, Sam finally climbed in, settling down into the water and closing his eyes with a deep sigh.
“Feels good, right?” Ollie said as he pushed himself back to the far side so they sat across from each other. He watched Sam nod, and then he rested one arm along the edge of the hot tub and looked out over the water.
The view was even more incredible from here than it had been from the lower deck—he could see even farther across the channel, and the water still sparkled with light from the sun. One of the larger ferries moved slowly through the middle of the channel, heading north. Ollie watched it for a few moments before turning back to Sam.
Sam’s deep blue eyes glistened with unshed tears, and as their eyes met, Ollie frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Sam said quickly, and he blinked several times in quick succession. “Nothing is wrong. Everything is... just right. I just... I’m so thankful.”
Ollie wasn’t entirely sure what Sam meant he was thankful for, so he shook his head and then pushed himself off the seat again and moved over to Sam’s side of the hot tub. His heart raced as he settled in the seat next to Sam, and he could see Sam’s chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Can I sit here with you? Can I...?” Ollie took a deep breath and scooted closer to Sam. Then he let himself sink lower into the water, and he leaned against Sam, resting his head in the crook of Sam’s neck and one hand on Sam’s thigh. He heard Sam’s sharp inhale and felt as Sam’s whole body tensed slightly. Then, with another shuddering breath, Sam’s arm settled around his shoulders.
“Is this okay, love?” Sam’s voice sounded strained.
“It’s perfect.”
Sam let out a short laugh, and his body seemed to relax as Ollie closed his eyes. Ollie’s heart was maybe still beating a little faster than it should, but as Sam squeezed his shoulder gently and pressed a light kiss into his hair, Ollie just felt comfortable and... and so loved.
He could feel the warmth and solidness of his boyfriend’s chest, Sam’s skin smooth against his, and it felt natural, like he belonged right here. Like he’d always belonged right here, in Sam’s arms. He let out a long breath of his own and smiled again.
Chapter 8
Sam always loved watching the sunrise with Ollie. But this morning, sitting together on the patio sofa with cups of hot coffee, Ollie settled up against his chest, it felt even more magical—the light inching its way up over the far horizon, brilliant orange rays beaming across the water, the dark sky slowly becoming brighter. He sighed and settled his head on top of Ollie’s, feeling so content in that moment.
He’d never been so happy, so relaxed and joyful, so in love.
And he’d never felt so loved, either.
The day before had been pure bliss. They’d started out with a morning run, then they’d packed, stopped in Redmond to pick up Ollie’s birthday gift from Katherine, and headed up to Anacortes, where they’d hitched a ride on the ferry to Friday Harbor. And then, the afternoon and evening and night... Ollie had been just so open and relaxed. They’d spent more than an hour together in the hot tub, Ollie snuggled up against him. The feeling of his skin touching Ollie’s for the first time had been nearly overwhelming to Sam. And although Ollie had shown no hint of uncertainty or fear or even reluctance, Sam had been careful. Very careful. He’d been so scared that Ollie wouldn’t be able to handle it and that any moment, Ollie might slip away, off to wherever it was he went when his flashbacks or panic attacks came.
But that hadn’t happened.
Everything had been fine. More than fine, actually.
“It’s perfect.”
Ollie’s words from the previous afternoon echoed in Sam’s head as he turned and kissed Ollie’s hair. It was perfect.Still. This was exactly everything he’d hoped it would be. And they still had the whole day and then the whole weekend.
“Breakfast in bed didn’t happen, but sunrise on the sofa is maybe better anyway,” Ollie said, and he tilted his head back to look up at Sam, a soft smile on his lips.
