Ollie’s eyes widened, and Sam pursed his lips as his cheeks darkened. “Sam...?”
“I... wanted something special for your birthday,” Sam said quietly, lowering his eyes. Ollie reached over and touched Sam’s cheek, feeling as Sam smiled. “You can... have your pick of anything he has on display. I, um, already... arranged for everything. And he’ll ship it to the apartment, so we don’t have to worry about packing it up from here.”
“Oh, oh, wow. Sam, I . . .”
“And then, in the afternoon, I made reservations for us to go kayaking in Griffin Bay. Then dinner at Blue—it’s this new Japanese steakhouse that just opened. And—”
Ollie stopped him with another kiss, his hand coming up to cup Sam’s cheek and draw him closer. He immediately deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue along Sam’s lower lipand then into his mouth, the faint taste of wine lingering. A low moan from Sam had Ollie smiling into the kiss, and he pulled back just enough that Sam groaned a protest before Ollie recaptured Sam’s lips.
“Mmm, love... don’t you wanna hear... my plans for... Saturday and Sunday?” Sam asked between kisses. But Ollie just shook his head slightly and kissed Sam again.
“You can surprise me,” he said, letting his hand slip to the back of Sam’s neck, his fingers playing with Sam’s hair. “I... I’m sure I’ll love it.”
Sam groaned again, and Sam’s hand settled on his bicep, squeezing gently. “But there’s . . . hiking and the . . . uh, some museum, and . . .”
“The hot tub,” Ollie suggested, grinning as Sam let out a quiet whimper.
“The . . . hot tub. Yeah. That’s . . .”
“Would be a good way to relax. Now. Before dinner,” Ollie said, breaking the kiss and letting his hand slide back down to Sam’s chest.
“Hmm,” Sam hummed, his eyes closed. Ollie could feel Sam’s heart racing under his palm, the rhythm matching that of his own pulse, and the light caress of Sam’s hand down his arm sent a shiver through him. Sam’s fingers stopped as they reached Ollie’s wrist. “I like that idea. But I...”
Sam opened his eyes again and met Ollie’s gaze, and Ollie saw a cautious hope in his boyfriend’s smile. He shook his head lightly and let his hand press a bit more into Sam’s chest.
He understood Sam’s hesitation. But he was ready to take a small step forward like this. He was. He’d had a good week, after all. Since the last incident Friday morning, he’d only had one more nightmare and no more flashbacks, and he’d been feeling all sorts of amazing and wonderful things all week. He wanted this now—to spend time in the hot tub with hisboyfriend. He wanted it, and he felt sure he could handle it. It didn’t have to be any more than that, after all. Just hanging out in the hot tub with Sam, whom he trusted completely.
“Come on,” Ollie said. He pushed himself up off the sofa and then reached out, took Sam’s hand, and tugged him to his feet. When Sam still hesitated to follow, Ollie squeezed his hand and stepped closer to wrap his arms around Sam’s waist. “I... promise I won’t suggest anything that I don’t feel comfortable with, Sam.”
“I know, love, I just...” Sam hugged him tighter. “I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way. If anything—anything at all—”
“I know,” Ollie said quietly. “Come on.”
With a grin, Ollie pulled out of the embrace but took Sam’s hand again and then led his boyfriend through the house, up to the second floor, and into the main bedroom, where they’d set their suitcases. He took the bathroom first, changing into his swim trunks. He paused to look at himself in the mirror, and he felt just the slightest wave of apprehension as he held his T-shirt in his hand.
Sam had... never seen him shirtless before. It seemed like an odd thing, especially since they’d basically lived together for almost six months now and since he’d seen Sam shirtless plenty of times. But it was another of those things that had changed since his assault. He hadn’t been in a pool or been swimming since, because he didn’t want any attention drawn to the fact that he’d have had to keep his shirt on to prevent himself from having some sort of a panic attack.
And even though he and Sam spent so much time together, he stillalwayschanged in the bathroom. With the door shut. And he didn’t come out of the bathroom without a shirt on. They even slept in sleep shorts and T-shirts. So... this was going to be a big first.
But, he reminded himself, no shirt didn’t necessarily mean any sort of touching had to happen or anything like that. Although it certainly could mean... some touching. Maybe.
Ollie smiled at his reflection, reached up and smoothed his hair back, and then exited the bathroom. Sam stood out on the balcony, the double glass doors open wide to let the breeze in, and he leaned over the hot tub, one hand in the water like he was checking the temperature. His head twisted around as Ollie took another step toward him, and Ollie watched as Sam’s eyes widened and he straightened up.
Sam’s mouth opened as though he intended to say something, but no words came out, and instead, he shook his head slightly and let out a long, shuddering breath.
“Your turn. How’s the water?” Ollie tried to sound casual, like this wasn’t such a huge deal. Because he wished it really wasn’t. But he heard the hitch in his words, and he saw as Sam shook himself and took a step toward Ollie.
“It—it’s good. Warm. Nice and... nice and warm.” Sam stopped just as Ollie did, when they were about two feet apart.
He could hear the unsteadiness in Sam’s breathing now, and his lips twitched up into a small smile as he watched Sam’s eyes linger on his bare chest.
“Good,” Ollie said. “I’ll just wait for you then.”
That seemed to pull Sam out of his daze, and he jerked his head up, blinking his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, um, okay. I’ll just... God, Oll, you’re... gorgeous, love. I just...” Sam seemed to lean toward him, but then shoved his hands into his pockets as though he could barely keep to himself.
Ollie felt his cheeks grow hot, and he dropped his gaze to the floor. “I, um, workout, you know?” he said, trying for some sort of teasing tone. But he heard Sam’s breath shudder again, and when he looked up, Sam’s eyes had darkened, and he was biting his lip as his eyes drifted back to Ollie’s chest.
“You... definitely do,” Sam managed. He took a small step toward Ollie, but still kept his hands in his pockets.
