I know he’ll quit. I’ve seen the way he looks at Freya. He finishes up his smoke while I roll the barn door shut, and then we both walk down to the house. Freya is in the kitchen, Slate wrapped up and strapped to her front. There’s a pot of something bubbling low on the stove, and she’s sitting at the table, painting in her sketchbook. Deacon takes off his shoes in the hall, but I linger, knowing I’m about to head out. Freya looks up, smiling.
“Hey, you want to take some chili?”
“Sure, that sounds good.”
She gets up and puts some in a Tupperware container along with two baked potatoes and drops it all into a linen bag. Deacon washes up in the sink, making a mess but obediently cleaning it up before she has to say a word.
“I was just telling Bittern about maybe bringing Janie on to do some PR and marketing for the ranch,” Deacon says, drying off. “What would you think about that, sweetheart?”
She cocks her head. “Does she want to?”
“I think she’d like to, but I’d need to ask.”
She studies me, eyes narrowing. “Can I ask a question that’s not my business?”
I balk but then shrug it off. “Sure. Shoot.”
“Are you two staying together?” she asks. “Because it would be a problem if she comes on, Deacon trains her, and then you break up. Either it’s really awkward for everybody, or one of you leaves.”
“Oh, no,” I say before I realize what’s coming out of my mouth. “We’ll get married.”
Her brows shoot up. “What?”
“I mean, I haven’t asked,” I amend. “But yeah, that’s my intent.”
Freya laughs, giving Deacon a look I don’t understand as something secret passes between them.
“That’s the spirit,” he says.
I’m kind of embarrassed but shrug it off, because what’s the point? Deacon walks me to the door, already moved on to talking about what we need to get done come morning, but I’m finding it hard to listen. He lets me go, and I walk up the hill. It’s good to have a few minutes to myself to turn over my thoughts.
A cold front came through last week. I went out to the lake to watch the birds huddled in the trees, on a layover to warmer pastures until spring. I gathered some wood and started carving what I saw, the way I usually do. Over the hearth, I installed a smooth pine shelf and started lining up each bird as I finish them. Maybe someday, we’ll have kids to play with them.
For now, I’m in no hurry.
Just being alive and happy is enough.
She’s in the kitchen when I get back, making herself a cup of tea. I set the food down and wrap my arm around her waist, kissing the back of her neck. From the hallway, Daisy comes scrambling inside, falling over a few times along the way. Janie pauses, turning in my arms so I can kiss her mouth. She’s having honey and lemon tea. I taste it on her lips.
“You want a job?” I say, pulling back.
She tilts her head. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious or if this is about your dick.”
I laugh, unwrapping the food. “No, Deacon wants to talk to you about doing some PR for the ranch.”
Her face lights up. “Really?”
“That’s what he said.”
“Did Freya put him up to it?”
I shake my head. “Not from what I understand. He was going on about wanting more time to be with family, have more kids. You know, working a little less.”
There’s a short silence. She’s frowning slightly.
“Is that…something you want eventually?” she says finally.
I’ve thought about what my future with her looks like quite a bit, but this is the first time I’ve articulated it. I want to be real careful about it, thoughtful and taking a lot of moving parts into account. She can tell I’m doing my due diligence. I appreciate I have the space.
