I want to do it differently.
Boldly, I grip his forearms and move in. The upstairs lights are off, so I know Mom and Dad are asleep. I lean up on my toes and kiss him, keeping it slow so he can respond. He does, kissing me deeply. I can taste how hungry he is when his lips part and his tongue grazes mine.
One hand slides around to the small of my back. He pulls me against his body, and his other palm cups the back of my head. From my crown to my toes, I’m swooning, colors going off like fireworks in my mind, my body tingling with electricity. With him, I don’t pull back. No, I want more, and my hands get ahead of me, sliding up his chest. My fingers slip beneath his collar, and I feel firm, warm muscle covered in hair. God, he’d feel so good to curl up with on a cold night, all big, rough, and solid.
He pulls back gently.
“I don’t want to walk more,” I whisper.
His brows rise.
“I want to…go home with you.” My words falter, but my desire doesn’t. I want this.
The hard lines on his face stay the same, but his dark eyes soften in the dim light. He lifts his head, looking out over the field behind the house. My pulse hammers. Did I offend him somehow?
“If I say I want that too, is that okay?” he says finally.
I clear my throat. God, the way he’s so broken wraps itself around my heart and yanks on it.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “As long as it’s okay with you too.”
He leans in, and my fists clench at my sides. There’s something so gentle, it feels like someone is handling my heart the way I want it to be touched, opening my chest with a key, like a birdcage, and taking my heart out with the gentlest of hands. My eyes flutter shut. His mouth touches mine, and he tastes a little bit sad, but like he’s on the cusp of leaving it behind.
We both pull back.
He holds out his hand, and I take it. The walk to his house is a blur of quick glances and pounding hearts. Then, we’re standing under the porch light while he unlocks the door, and I’m not sure what I’m feeling, but I know exactly how the night will end.
He leads me into the hall, leaning past me to shut the door. His body brushes mine, warm, and heat stirs in my lower belly. We both step out of our boots, and he puts them in the alcove by the door. Then, he turns, and all the breath whooshes from my lungs as he pushes me carefully against the wall. His weight sinks into me—not too much pressure, but just enough to let me feel the hardness in his pants.
God, that feels good.
His fingers brush my neck and gather my hair to hold it aside. My eyes roll back as his mouth touches the side of my neck. A brush of fire. Soft kisses over my bare skin. He pulls down the strap of my dress and kisses along my shoulder, lifting my elbow to brush his mouth on the inside of my upper arm.
I think my kink is gentleness, because I’m burning up.
“Tell me what you like,” he pants, fingers cradling my head.
“This,” I manage. “I like this.”
He rumbles, almost like a low growl. I love that. It’s lust-filled but not aggressive. More like an awakening. My fingers dig into his belt and hold him close enough so I can feel his hardness push into my lower belly. As sweet and gentle as he’s being, my mind is careening this way and that, and it can’t keep from going to dirty places.
Clink—I undo his belt, pulling his zipper down. He’s biting at my shoulder where it hits my neck. My other hand grazes his short hair. I turn my head, and our mouths meet just as I slip my hand into his pants.
Oh God.
He moans and his hips buck. Our lips part in tandem, the kiss going from passionate to downright filthy as his tongue pushes past my lips. Bittern seems so discreet, so gentle, and I wasn’t expecting what I’ve got my hand wrapped around right now. He’s rock hard and thick. The rebellious, bitchy part of my brain makes a note that he’s bigger than Shane. Then, I correct myself. Shane had real problems, but his perfectly normal dick size wasn’t one of them.
“Fuck—stop,” he pants.
I go still, heart pounding, looking up into his face. He’s gritting his jaw, looking hot and tortured.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper.
His cheek twitches. “It’s been a while.”
“Okay. How long?”
He takes a breath, stepping back so I have to let go. He pushes his dick back under his pants.
