“You told me you didn’t want to know about much, but it's great, I like her… and don’t worry about paying Anna, I’ll ask David if I can do the work for free, I can add on lawn work and snow removal as well. Get dressed, and let’s get food. Grant doesn't have shit in the cupboards.” Sliding out of bed, I walk into the bathroom,
“Thank you, I can help with lawn work and shoveling!” I leave Levi on the corner of my bed.
When I go to close the door, he yells, “The door stays open!” Poking my head out of the bathroom, he smiles at me.
“Umm, no, you're going to hear me pee, or shit, or something, absolutely not.” I go to close the door again, and he stands up.
“Scarlett Elaine!” I stop and side-eye him.
“Levi Robert!” I burst out laughing because our great-grandparents' names just entered the chat. “Keep grandma and grandpa's names out of your nonsense. I just have to pee.”
He groans and walks over. “Fine, BUT I am going to stand right here, the entire time, and if I feel the need to, I will in fact put my ear to this door and listen wholeheartedly to every shit that hits that water, if I think for one moment, it has been too long. Capeesh?” His eyes are dead serious. I nod because, in the end, I did this. I sat in here last night, and I broke his heart.
After getting ready, I step out of the bathroom, and sure enough, Levi is standing there with his back against the wall, on his phone. “I’m ready.” I push his phone into his face, making him roll his eyes.
“Let's gooooooo.” I start down the stairs and jump into his driver's seat.
Starting the car, I look down and notice a black hair tie stuck between the seat and the center console. I pull it out from its wedged location, and when my hand finally gets hold, I pull it up. Shock stuns me. Levi rounds the corner, jumping into the passenger seat. “LEVI!” I threw the thong at his head, “I said I didn’t want to hear about anything, and I sure as shit don’t want to see any evidence of it either!” He balls up the thong and laughs hysterically, “Levi! This is no joke; it is not even remotely amusing. I thought it was a hair tie.” He opens the glove box and sets the used underwear inside, as if it were an important document.
“That’s where they went, thanks, Letty, she’ll be happy to have those back.” He winks at me, and he actually thinks this is funny. Instantly, my but shoots off the seat, holding myself up with one hand on the door and one on the center console.
“Levi, is this seat contaminated?” Throwing his head back, he laughs. He leans forward, trying his best to compose himself.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t really want to know the answer to, but if it makes you feel better, yes, it probably is.” Throwing himself back into his seat, he laughs insensibly.
Heading to the diner for a quick breakfast. Levi orders the two-egg omelet with a side of toast and two slices of bacon, with an orange juice. My eyes grow, and he chuckles. “I worked up an appetite last night.”
The waitress looks at me, awaiting my order. Honestly, I am starving. “I’ll have the same thing as him.” He looks at me with wide eyes, “What? I worked up an appetite, too.” With that, I walk away knowing I have just made him as uncomfortable as I am.Sucker, two can play this game.Taking the booth next to a table full of women, Levi walks over with his lips pressed firmly together, carrying our orange juices. He sets the juices down, holding onto both of them, before looking me in the eyes.
“Scarlett, that was not cool. You just did me dirty.” I go to grab my juice, and he scoots it away.
“Not as dirty as finding Spencer's boxers tucked between your seats. Unlike you two heathens, we clean up after our—” The waitress sets our food down as Levi’s face remains in a state of complete and utter shock. “Not so funny, is it?”
Shaking his head in disbelief, we eat our food and make small talk until we hear the women at the other table chatting. “... Dating this traffic cop has really done wonders for me, ladies. I have gotten pulled over twice and no ticket, you know I have a lead foot.” She chuckles to herself. Levi and I make eye contact; sibling intuition allows us to read each other's thoughts without needing to say a word. We continued eating and eavesdropping… “He just moved here; his wife had a tragic car accident, leaving him a widower.” All the women around the table gasped and shared sympathetic looks for thepoor widow.
One of the ladies asks for ‘this hunk's name’. The woman takes a sip of her mimosa before Grant’s name falls from her mouth. I watch Levi’s reaction, his jaw clenching, his eyes grow with outrage. His fist clenched around his fork, making his knuckles whiten like snow. My eyes beg with him to forget it, to leave it be.Don’t fail me now, intuition.His anger prevails over my pleas, as he stands up and turns to the table next to ours.
He stands tall, “Ma’am, you seem like a genuine person. But please let me give you some insight: stay away from Grant. He is not a good man; he is not who he will lead you to believe he is. Leave before it’s too late.” Without allowing her to respond, he turns back to our table, sets a tip down, and then nods at me to follow him. I do just that, because I’d follow my brother anywhere, after all, he walks with me through hell.
The car ride is quiet. We hit two more stores before heading home, and in that time, his rage boiling, his foot pressesharder on the gas, his shifts become more forceful. The amount of chiefed cigarettes and the way he grips the steering wheel answer all the questions I have. “Levi, I–” His palm hits the steering wheel.
“Is God trying to teach us a lesson? I mean, fuck! Grant is a lying, cheating, beating—” He stops himself looking over at me, “And Mom… don’t get me started on that piece of—” I turn to him now as irritation creeps up.
“No, she fucked up, Levi, but she was broken. You cannot blame her for this! I know you're angry, Levi, but…” He shakes his head while slamming the car into the park in our driveway. Turning to face me, he cuts me off before I can defend our mother.
“Letty, she was not a good woman; she does not deserve your sympathy and your love. She left us. She—” His breath shakes, and his hands tremble as he taps the steering wheel. He battles his thoughts and inner demons alone.
“Tell me.”
His somber eyes hit mine like ice, freezing me in place. “She cheated on my dad while he was at war, fighting for this country, fighting for benefits and a better life for us. She met Grant and became pregnant with you while still with my dad. She wrote him a shit letter saying she fell in love while he was at war, she was leaving him, Scarlett. But guess what? He died in the line of duty before she sent the fucking letter. He died thinking he was leaving his family behind, leaving the love of his life to figure out this harsh world alone. He left ME. He left me with a selfish woman who didn’t deserve a place in his heart, yet she had every nook and cranny there was, because he loved her, and he died thinking she loved him too.” He lets out a shaky breath as I hold back tears, watching my strong, resilient brother break at the thought of his father loving a woman who didn’t deserve it.
I lean over, placing my hand on top of his. “I didn’t know. I am so sorry.” He stops me by interrupting.
“You are the only good thing that came from their relationship. You are the only silver lining.” His eyes soften, and I believe him. I have never doubted his love for me, his bravery, his ability to take and take without ever needing to be given anything in return.
“Your dad would be so proud of you. I know it.” He nods, rolling his shoulders and pushing his emotions down, as he always does. “Levi, I know I have you, always, but who do you have? Yes, you have me, but what good am I if you feel like you can’t break down because you have to be so damn strong all the time? I need you to do something for me. While I am out here putting out my fire and growing in strength, I need you to find someone to be weak with, find someone who will hold YOU while you fall. You can’t be strong all the time. Give it to me now. It’s my turn to be strong for both of us.”
Before I know it, his arms are reaching over and he hugs me, like he never has before, because he needs to break. I have lost myself in this darkness, but he has always been my light. Now, I see his light dimming; he is losing himself, and I'll be damned if I let him get lost in the darkness.
