Memories of two gassy sisters trying their hardest to capture farts in an empty Pringles can and release it upon unsuspecting victims pulls an unexpected smile to my face.God, we were gross.
I fix the strap on Delta’s shoes and when I’m done, so is Amber. She tosses the dirty diaper and holds Loretta in her arms. If my husband saw my sister holding her right now, all hell would break loose. I’d probably be marched out of here without giving so much as a goodbye or listening to the service we flew here for. Amber holds my daughter like she knows she’s not supposed to but can’t help herself, like she’safraid this might be the only time she’ll ever hold her.
So I let her because there's still a soft spot inside my heart for her.
“We don’t have much time, Renée." She checks to find Delta occupied at the sink before continuing. "I wouldn’t be surprised if Greg came in here looking for you in five seconds, so I’m gonna make this quick. I see how he treats you. He doesn’t leave your side. He’s ostracized you from your family, and I’d bet my left tit you have bruises on your body right now and it isnotthe first time, nor is it the last. You deserve so much better, sister. When you can’t take it anymore and come to your senses, I will be there for you. I’m not kidding, Renée. I will drop everything and help you. I will move across the country for you and your girls. I will find the lawyers. I will find the money. And you know what? I look pretty good in orange. So good in fact, I wouldn’t mind wearing it for the rest of my life.”
“I think you’re being a little dramatic,” I say, just on the edge of nervousness and refusing to acknowledge any of her assessment as true.
It’s all true.
“I’m. Not. Kidding.” She punctuates each word through clenched teeth and the tendons on the sides of her neck strain. She kisses the top of Loretta’s head before handing her back to me. “Now go back to your seat and I’ll join you in a few minutes so he’s not suspicious.”
I’d like to tell her it wouldn’t matter because he’s always suspicious, but she has a point, and it’s better not to add fuel to the fire.
Music fills the air when I get back to my seat, and Greg is still standing at the front, watching for me. Delta settles in with a drawing pad, and I retrieve a cold bottle of milk from the bag to feed Loretta. Amber doesn’t acknowledge either of us when she strides to the front row and takes theseat next to our mom.
With an iron-set jaw, Greg takes the seat between us.
1. If You Go Down (I'm Goin' Down Too) by Kelsea Ballerini
Chapter 25
My Choice
Renée
My fingers comb through King’s fur in gentle, measured strokes as I debate just how much to tell Jonah. “Amber and I reconnected at our father’s funeral,” I say. “And I paid dearly for it.”
The beautiful blond man sitting beside me furrows his brow, and it’s such an odd, unfamiliar look from him. “What do you mean you paid for it?”
With a deep inhale, I admit the thing I have kept hidden from almost everyone. Embarrassment and shame rear their ugly heads in an attempt to keep it locked inside, but I push through. “Greg mentally and physically abused me,” I say. I don’t sugar-coat the truth or tell a more palatable, vague version. In no uncertain terms, he beat me.
Jonah’s eyes round. “Because you wanted to attend your dad’s funeral?”
“Because of that. Because he didn’t like the way I dressed. Because he didn’t like the way people smiled at me. Because he didn’t like how our babies would keep him up at night. Because he didn’t like eating leftovers andIshould know that. Because because because.”
Staring at my freckled hand, frozen in fur, I’m lost in painful memories until Jonah’s covering his over mine. Warm, big, and slightly calloused, his hand gently envelops mine and gives a tender squeeze.
“I’m so sorry.” His words are genuine and he drags them out as if each one weighs a ton. “Tell me you’re safe now.And the girls.”
I nod. “He died a couple years ago.”
Jonah releases a breath and flings his head back on the couch. “Jesus. I hope it was painful.” He turns his focus back to me, and a wicked gleam lights his eyes and a curl forms at the corner of his lips. “Did you kill him? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Sounds like he deserved it.”
My eyes roll to the side and I sigh. “He died of botulism.”
Jonah racks his brain for a moment. “What’s botulism?”
“The botulinum toxin is known to many parents because we’re warned about it with infants ingesting honey. That’s why children under the age of one can’t consume it. Their immune systems are not mature enough to handle the spores of the bacteria. But what a lot of people don’t realize is that adults can die from it too.
“In the early fall, I would often can vegetables, eggs, soups, and sauces at home. I learned how to do it so we could save money by using what I had grown and buying in bulk. I always took proper care to can everything the right way. But... I guess something went wrong with one of my batches.”
Jonah’s mouth drops. “Hediedfrom eating food from a jar? Wait, why didn’t you? Didn’t you eat it too?”
I lift one shoulder. “I don’t like chili.”
“So, did he just collapse right there at the table?”
