“I’m sorry for disappointing you, Father. I just couldn’t do it anymore,” I tell him.
“Zia, I don’t want your apologies, son,” he snaps. “All I hope for is for you to be happy. I like Faiz, but only because I thought he made you happy. Fuck the families. Fuck what it means. If you aren’t happy, then leave. I will always support you.”
“It’s over. I left,” I rasp, my voice cracking. Something about being in front of him makes me weaker than ever.
He leads me over to the benches near the table and sits next to me, eyeing me.
“It hurts,” I admit. I see tears in his eyes as he roughly pulls me into his arms like he used to when I was a child. He takes quick breaths to push his own pain for me back.
“I know, son. I’m sorry, just let it out. I’m here.”
I cry in my father’s arms. I let him hold me as I break and grieve for the love I lost and the time I will never get back. When the tears stop, I straighten, and he wipes my tears away like he did in my younger days. I guess he will never stop being a father, no matter how old I get.
“Find your happiness, son.” His words almost echo Nikko’s, and for a moment, I think of him before it fades. “Whatever that means. That’s all I wish for you. I would give it all up if that’s what you needed. I just want you to be happy.” He covers my hand. “Promise me you’ll find it, whatever it takes.”
“I promise,” I whisper. “I loved him, Father. I really did.”
“I know. Love doesn’t always last forever, but each love teaches us a lesson. Your mother’s taught me patience and kindness, while my love for you teaches me protectiveness and happiness. We learn lessons from each type, and even if it doesn’t last, they stay with us. Forever is a very long time, and you are still so young. Your life is just beginning. Don’t do what I did. Don’t close up, push everyone away, and wallow in the grief of what you lost. Move on. You are allowed to be happy. The world is far too big of a place for you to live with regret. I’ll be right here, at your side, for as long as this body allows me,” he promises as he squeezes my hand, “and I am so very proud of you. Never doubt that, my beautiful, strong boy.”
Tears fill my eyes again, and I try to fight them back, blinking rapidly as I sniff. “I haven’t disappointed you?”
“You never could.” He says it so vehemently, I believe him. “You sacrifice so much for me, for this life I built, but it was never yours to sacrifice for. I never asked if this was the life you wanted?—”
“It is, with you, with this family. It’s what I want.” I refuse to let him have regrets. My father did everything for me and still does. “I just want you to be proud of me.”
“I am, endlessly, no matter what you do. The money and business don’t matter. Who you are as a person matters more, and I see a strong, confident, kind man who loves so deeply he fights until the end. Faiz was lucky to have you, even for a little while. I am so proud of the man you have become. I always will be, and I will always be in your corner.Let their family come after us. I will never let them hurt you or ruin what you have built. I would die for you, son, but I will settle for being here to reassure you every time you are uncertain. I might not have always been a perfect father, but I need you to know that this is always your home, I am always your home, no matter what happens. When life gets too exhausting, just come home.”
I lean into his shoulder, allowing myself a moment of weakness before I have to be strong again. “You are an amazing father. You never cared who I loved or why, and you’ve always supported me. I could never ask for anything more,” I tell him. “You’ll always be my home, but I need to do this. I went from this house to Faiz’s. I need to find my own way. I need to stand on my own.”
“Whatever you want, son,” he replies.
“But let’s stay like this for a minute longer,” I request.
“Anything,” he murmurs, and we sit side by side in silence.
My future is unknown, but at least I have him.
I have my family and a whole new world to explore.
I never thought I’d be starting over without Faiz, but my father’s right. The world is too vast to keep hurting.
I hope whatever comes next has peace.
SIX
Four months later . . .
My gloved fist hits his face, and his eyes widen as he spins and goes down hard. The count begins, the crowd screams, and I dance on my toes, waiting anxiously. Moments later, the referee runs toward me, jerking my hand up.
“Winner, Nikko!” It’s announced for the entire place to hear.
I grin as the audience cheers. Heading to the ropes, I stand on them and shout for the crowd, knowing that’s what they expect, then I hop down and stride over to Usolf, my opponent. He’s groaning and still lying on his back, so I offer him a hand.
He glances from it to me and rolls his eyes, but he accepts it, and I pull him up. “Good fight,” I remark.
“Yours was better,” he says with a thick accent.
Slapping him on the shoulder, I wave once more to the crowd as I smile and climb out of the ring. My father is waiting with our new gym manager, Charlie, and both are grinning widely. “Good job!” they laud as Charlie hands me my water. My dad helps me remove my gloves, and I take out my mouth guard before downing half thebottle and tossing the rest over me. My shorts are already soaked with sweat, so it doesn’t really matter at this point.
