Jay: lol I’m sure.
Marco: Hey, they were feisty! What’s something beautiful you’ve seen lately?
Jay: I went to Philly’s pride parade in the gayborhood. It was beautiful, all the colors and flags and excitement.
Jay: Fuck, I’m sorry. I probably look like I’m flaunting my cushy life and crying over a little breakup. And here u r at war.
Marco: We’re not comparing our lives, so stop that. I made this choice, and you made a better one. And breakups hurt, dude. I like hearing about what you’re doing. It makes me forget about all the bullshit I’m doing.
Jay: What do you do, btw? Like, are you just a soldier or do you have a specialty? Seems weird that u have access to a computer all the time lol
Marco: I’m a mechanic. Now I’m a sergeant and I’m in charge of our fleet… ordering parts and overseeing maintenance. That’s why I have access a lot of the time.
Jay: Or ur a car guy, huh?
Marco: I know the ins and outs.
Jay: Is it bad if I haven’t replaced my oil in four years?
Marco: What?! YES! Replace it now!
Jay: I’m kidding. I understand basic car maintenance. But thanks for making me laugh.
Marco: You’re gonna be ok, dude. I’m always just a text and 9.5 time zones away.
July
Marco: People weren’t meant to live in such hot conditions. It’s over 100 degrees here.
Jay: Oh, ur gonna hate what I did today. [picture of him at the beach with Brittany and Samira with a beer in hand and sunglasses on]
Marco: Is that the Jersey shore?
Jay: Yup.
Marco: Fuuuuck you! LOL That looks so nice. Looks like you had a good time?
Jay: What’s not to love about a crowded beach full of mostly naked people?
Marco: Happy you’re out enjoying the summer, dude.
Jay: R u sure u want me to keep sending u these pics and stories? Feels like I’m rubbing it in ur face.
Marco: I’m living vicariously thru you. Please don’t stop.
Jay: Well in that case, lemme tell u about the gaggle of women in the bachelorette party that was next to us today. Good Lord. They arrived just after us, wasted, and it was only 11am. They were doing a conga line which turned into them doing a running conga line, the first girl tripped, and they all fell over one another, laughing and swearing and tits falling out of bikini tops. LOL. They were kicked off the beach after that.
Marco:
Jay: But while they were being escorted off the premises, the maid of honor was yelling at the officer, drunk off her ass, “U racist! Saint Beyonce will save us!” Mind u, she was white. The whole party was white. The officer was white.
Marco:
Jay: Oh! And I saw this family at the shore and I thought of u. There was this guy there with a kid. Maybe 3 yrs old? Anyway, he was walking him up and down the beach and ladies were flocking to him. So Uncle lesson #2: use your niece or nephew as a prop. You’ll get pussy.
Marco: These are good tips. So far it’s #1 don’t break the child and #2 use them as a prop to get phone numbers.
Jay: Ok, but also, he let the kid bury him in the sand and it was adorable. Do that, too.
