“Hi.”
My heart melts a little. “Hi, sweet girl. I missed you. You’ve grown so big.”
“Can you show him your muscles?” my sister asks Viera, and she throws up her arms, then squeezes them close to her body.
I lightly pinch her bicep. “Wow. Very impressive.” She smiles and tucks her head into Vinny’s neck. I look at Bec and my smile drops. “He didn’t come?”
Her head shakes solemnly, “I’m sorry.”
My whole body deflates as the pain swallows me whole. I should be thrilled to finally be home, to finally be with my family again, to start my life anew. But I can’t bring myself to find that joy. Not without him.
I clear my throat and nod to myself. “Yeah. Okay. But you told him?”
“Yeah.”
My heart drops into my gut even further. “Then let’s get the hell out of here. I have someone I need to win back.”
Walking through the throngs of people, I watch the familiar site of reunited couples holding each other, soldiers kissing their infant children they’ve never met, grandparents gushing over their grandchildren’s return, and I think—
“Marco, look,” Bec points to someone dodging through the crowd. Dark, floppy hair bounces as he locks in on me.
And my world stops.
Jay.
He finds a straight away at the same time I do and my heart rate skyrockets. Running toward him, our feet eating up the space between us, our bodies find each other like magnets. Everything else blurs away and when I’m close enough, I reach my hands out, grab onto the back of his head, and our mouths collide. The kiss is hard, like if we push against each other enough, that will erase my failure. His arms are around my torso, his fingers clutching my jacket as I give into him. I relinquish everything to him.
My tears.
My emotions.
My heart.
My body.
They’re all his.
Mixing with mine, his own tears slide down his face. I can taste the salt in our mouths as our kiss deepens. His lips are so soft and full. Never again will I not kiss these lips. Never. Again.
Breaking away for the briefest of moments, I whisper, “I regret nothing, Jay. I meant every word.”
He kisses me again, a little softer this time. “I know that now. I’m sorry I cut you off like that.” He looks at me with eyes so beautifully dark. “I was angry at myself. I was too scared you were gonna wake up and cast me aside.”
“I could never,” I say as I soften my features and lay out everything I’ve kept unknowingly bottled up. “I love you, Jay.”
He takes a beat to let it sink in and chokes back a sob. “I’ve loved you for years, Marco.” Then he rests his cheek against mine. “I’ve been torturing myself with loving you from afar. And I would have tortured myself for the rest of my life,” his voice cracks softly. “Because I could never really let you go. There’s no way.”
“I’m yours, baby. We’re never letting go now. We’re never going back.” I press my lips to his again, his lips opening and pliant for me.
This moment and this man make me feel more like myself than I have ever known. Like my life’s gears have finally found where they fit in, where they can be useful and strong. Where they’re needed.
Someone clears their throat behind me and we separate slowly. I find my family watching us. “Hi, Jay,” my sister smiles. “Glad to see you made it.”
He chuckles, “Yeah, me too.”
“You guys look like you have more catching up to do than us. Marco, you ride with Jay home.” She pats me on my shoulder. “Welcome home, baby brother. Call us when you’re ready to come up for air.”
The three of them wave at us as they leave with the crowd. I can’t move yet, so I simply stare at Jay’s perfect face. I wipe the remnants of tears from it with both thumbs and say, “I’ve never kissed a man before.”
