A little unsettled from all the thoughts that had been dancing in her head that evening, she declined. “I’m actually feeling a bit restless, I think I’ll go for a walk in the garden while it’s still warm enough in the evenings.” Angeline saw the critical way her brother looked at her, assessing if she was well or trying to escape them. As it was a bit of both, she hoped she could fool him into thinking all was well. “I won’t be out long,” she reassured them.
Stepping out into the backyard, Angeline wrapped her shawl closer around her. It was cool, but the fresh air was a blessing and she breathed in the scents of the plants around her as she strolled toward the small woodland that stood between the family estate and Ravenswood. Angeline had always loved this part of the property. A large lake lay just beyond the trees, and a view of Ravenswood, Sidney’s family estate, could be seen through the trees as it stood just beyond the water. She made her way that direction, knowing the sight would be stunning this time of evening as the sun set across the water, highlighting the leaves that were beginning to turn gold and red as autumn set in.
Just as she broke through the trees, Angeline saw Sidney striding in her direction. It had been just over a week since they had seen each other, but she instantly recalled the feeling of waking up next to him. She saw a smile light up his face as he noticed her, and she couldn’t help but smile back.
“I was just making my way to Geffen House,” he called out. Picking up the pace of his strides, he soon mounted the small crest up to the trees where Angeline was standing. “What luck that I’ve found you,” he added, now in front of her.
“Are things not entertaining enough for you at Ravenswood?” she teased. “You had to come seeking new distractions from the other side of the fence?”
Sidney let out a full-throated laugh and shook his head at her. “I have missed you, Angeline. You never fail to amuse.”
“Walk with me?” she asked. After he nodded in ascent, she started back down the path he came from, turning to make a loop around the pond. They didn’t speak for quite a while, but it was a companionable silence. It was lovely to feel so at home and comfortable with another man again. In a way, Sidney had always been such a presence in her life.
“What’s occupying that mind of yours? I can practically feel you thinking,” he said.
“I suppose that’s the danger in you having known me for so long,” Angeline said. “My mind seems to be all over the place this evening. I guess I’m trying to feel out what may be best for me moving forward—what my next step should be.”
“You’re not content to remain at Geffen House with Fitz?”
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I realized tonight that I stayed away for so long because it would have been too painful to see the family being happy together when my shock at losing Phillip was so fresh. Now, I still experience that pain from time to time—I think that’s inevitable—but there is more good in being around those I love. Still, I’m not sure if remaining here long term will be best for me either.”
Sidney was looking at her intently, taking in what she was saying. “Why would being with family not be good for you?”
“It’s not that . . . of course I want to be with my family. I suppose I’m wondering if I will be content to live under another’s roof for the rest of my life and not have my own home.”
Angeline paused, unsure how to express the next part of what she was thinking in a way that would not give Sidney false hope if Moira’s suspicions were true. Looking down at the path before her, she said, “Maybe I’m starting to wonder if I will be happy for the rest of my life without a partner to share it with. I know what passion and connection feel like. For the past two years I couldn’t even contemplate experiencing that with anyone other than Phillip. But now . . . I’m only twenty-nine years old. I’m not sure if I want to go through the rest of my life never experiencing that feeling again.”
Daring to look at Sidney again, she saw a look of such undisguised longing on his face that it made her catch her breath.
“You deserve to feel that again, Angie.” He stopped walking, so she stilled as well and turned toward him. Stepping closer, he reached up and cupped her face in his hands, looking at her intently.
Angeline sucked in a breath at the sensation, and before she even knew what she was saying, she asked, “Will you kiss me?”
Sidney looked just as startled as she was at the question. “What?”
Thinking about it for a moment, she continued, “I need help discovering what it is I want. As my friend, you are a safe person to test my limits with.” It was a reasonable thought, and Angeline knew she would use it later to justify her reckless actions.
“Are you sure?” Still searching her face, she saw a mixture of trepidation and hope in his own.
Looking deep into Sidney’s eyes, she gave him an almost imperceptible nod. Angeline knew he had seen it when his pupils flared wide with desire.
Still holding her face, Sidney leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers. He applied firm pressure but was not aggressive. After a second’s hesitation, Angeline leaned into him and returned the kiss. Feeling her give way, Sidney let out a low moan and dropped his hands, wrapping his arms about her back to pull her close. All she could feel was warmth as she was pressed against his firm chest, and what felt like sparks started to lick their way up her spine. Wanting to be closer, she pushed up onto her toes and grabbed the back of his neck, holding him securely to her. They kissed each other over and over again, and after what could have been one moment or ten, she parted her lips, silently asking him for more.
Sidney didn’t hesitate and she felt his tongue slip inside her mouth, slowly exploring. The kisses began to have a drugging effect and time lost all meaning. Angeline began to feel almost vertiginous, but in the most delicious way. Eventually, he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, catching his breath. She felt electrified and knew without a doubt that she could not live the rest of her life without experiencing such a moment again. Willing her heart to calm down, she pulled away and gave Sidney a long, considering look.
“I’m not sure whether to thank you or curse you for that,” she told him.
“You didn’t enjoy it?”
“I think you’ve awakened something in me and now I won’t be able to go without it.” Sidney gave an arrogant smirk, and she swatted his arm. “Don’t let it go to your head. How would you feel if you hadn’t kissed anyone in over two years?”
“As a matter of fact, I haven’t,” he said.
Angeline stared at him in astonishment. “What do you mean? I don’t wish to be indelicate, but I have heard rumors about your conquests over the years, you know.”
Sidney winced slightly at her pronouncement and hung his head. “I was not always careful with my affections in the past, it’s true. But about two and a half years ago I decided I needed to take charge of my life, and I’ve been focused on other things since then.”
“When you ran for office,” Angeline thought aloud, making sense of the timeline. She knew he’d been working hard, but had she been so lost in her own world that she had not seen just how much Sidney had matured and changed? Had he really not been with a woman since then? “I’m sorry. I’ve been so lost in myself that I didn’t notice you,” she said.
