Nick leaned back and smiled at Sidney. “I’m really proud of you, you know,” he said. Sidney reddened at the praise from his brother; it meant a lot coming from him. “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying your freedom and testing your limits, but I’ll admit that there was a brief period where you scared me a bit, Sid.”
Sidney dropped his head in shame. “I know . . . I scared myself—that’s why I cleaned up my act. I had to find something else to fulfill me because that life wasn’t doing it for me anymore.” Remembering how hollow he had felt for so long, he was glad he had found a way to productively fill his life after so many empty years. “I feel a sense of purpose that I never had before, and I’m grateful to my friends for showing me how to make my way in Parliament. For once I feel like I may actually be doing something good in the world.”
The truth was that Sidney had needed to find a way to be whole and fulfilled even without Angeline or anyone else. It was ironic that it was not two months after Sidney decided to make a change once and for all and had placed himself on the ballot to represent Kent that Phillip had died, making Angeline available again. If things were changing between them, he was glad to know that while he would always be happy to have her, he did not need her to be content. Sidney also hoped that he was now a man worthy of her love, should she ever offer it to him.
“But enough about me,” Sidney said, clearing his throat to shake off the emotion that hung in the air. “You said you had something to discuss?”
Just then, a footman entered the study carrying a tray loaded down with treats and a steaming pot of tea. The brothers waited for everything to be arranged and the footman to withdraw before Nick was ready to talk with Sidney.
“I’ve decided to marry again,” Nick said, causing Sidney to nearly spit out his first sip of tea.
“You’ve what?” Sidney spluttered. Utterly taken off guard by Nick’s assertion, he hastily set down his cup and saucer so he wouldn’t spill in his agitated state. “I can’t have heard you correctly. After Anne died, you said you would never marry again.”
Nick’s wife, Anne, and mother to his daughter, Hazel, had died five years ago from an infection after losing a child she’d been carrying. Nick had been distraught, and Hazel was only three at the time. A marriage that had been arranged by their parents, Nick and Anne had not been in love at the time they married, but they were fond of and genuinely liked one another. After spending a few years living together and the birth of Hazel, a deep affection had grown between the two and love crept up on them over the following years. Anne’s loss had been deeply felt by everyone, as they had all grown to love her and she had become an integral part of their family.
“I know what I said,” Nick replied, “but the reality is that Hazel could use the influence of a mother figure. She’s become incredibly attached to her governess in a way I’m not sure is healthy, and the woman needs to leave us after the holidays. I know Hazel will be devastated. She has clutched onto her governess so tightly because she has no other women in her life to fulfill the role a mother would. You should see the way she clings to Moira whenever we see her and Fitz and their children. She’s starved for motherly affection.”
“Surely Hazel isn’t lacking for love and attention?” Sidney said. “You are an exceptional father.”
“Yes, but it’s not the same. Hazel knows I will always be there for her and that she can count on me, so she takes it for granted. What I have to offer her does not fill the void she’s seeking, and as she grows, it would be helpful for her to have a woman to emulate.” Nick sighed and leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face in exhaustion.
Sidney examined his brother carefully, and he couldn’t help but press him on the issue. “I understand how this could be beneficial for Hazel, but is it really what you want?”
“The fact is I need an heir—unless you are suddenly ready to step up and take on the mantle of the title,” Nick replied with a pointed look.
Sidney colored slightly. His brother knew he had no interest in being in charge. Nonetheless, he was still wary of Nick’s change of heart. “Just how committed to this plan are you? Is it only an idea, or do you have someone in mind?”
“I do, as a matter of fact,” Nick answered. “Lady Ephegenia Tarlton. I’ve met her several times through Davenport, as she is good friends with his wife. She’s a widow and has shown interest. Though her marriage to Lord Albany was short, she is well-regarded in high society as a dowager marchioness and is all that is elegant and refined. She could be a good example and teacher for Hazel when she is ready to enter society herself.”
Sidney stiffened at the tenuous connection. Lord Davenport was his brother’s best friend and the salt of the earth, but Sidney had never cared for his wife. If Nick’s prospective bride was close with her, it did not speak well of the lady, dowager marchioness or not. Regardless, he could not fault his brother’s logic and needed to show his support no matter his reservations.
“Then I am happy for you, brother. When can I meet this woman who has captured you?” Sidney made sure to offer a genuine smile.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Nick said. “I’m not in love with the woman. She’s beautiful, to be sure, but I’m more concerned with what she can do for Hazel than for myself.”
“You never know how feelings may develop,” Sidney said, thinking of Angeline.
“That is very true,” Nick said, staring at his plate while absentmindedly crumbling remnants of the scone that lay there. Sidney was certain that he was thinking of Anne. Shaking his head, Nick brought his attention back to Sidney. “Let’s go and see your niece, shall we?”
CHAPTER9
“Auntie, will you read me another story?” Emily asked. Angeline couldn’t help but smile down at Emily’s upturned face as the little girl sat snuggled in her lap.
“One more, but it must be a short one. I promised your mother I would get you settled into bed.” Squealing in delight, Emily hopped off her lap and scrambled over to the low shelf, selecting another book.
Here, in this moment, Angeline was glad she had decided to move back into Geffen House. It felt good to be surrounded by her family and the children’s unbridled joy. For too many months, she had kept herself sequestered away at the Eastland estate, finding it too difficult to engage with others while deep in her grief. But it was time to live fully again. She had made some steps back into society during the last season, mainly in support of her friends Grace and Elise who were both re-entering society after long absences. It had been neither pleasant or defeating, and Angeline had to get used to feeling like a different person within the same world. Being here with family was healing, and she wished she had not stayed away for so long.
Emily climbed back onto the bed beside her, and Angeline read the third story of the night. About halfway through, Emily’s eyes began to droop, and by the time Angeline had finished the book, the child was fully asleep. Standing gently, she bent down and placed a soft kiss on her niece’s forehead, breathing in the clean scent that only seemed to belong to freshly washed children. Heart aching, she tiptoed out of the room before quietly closing the door.
Life was hard to understand sometimes. Just as she had been relishing how nice it was to be back in Kent, moments like this reminded her why she had stayed away. For so long, the fear of pain in such moments had kept her distant, no matter how much good came along with them. Angeline thought it was sign she was truly starting to heal that she was now willing to accept the hollow ache because, overall, being around the children provided her with more happiness on balance. That was not to say that she didn’t still feel the hurt acutely in the moments it came.
Descending from the nursery level of the house, Angeline could hear Moira playing the piano in the main drawing room. She paused in the doorframe to listen and observed her brother looking upon his wife adoringly; entranced, as Moira lost herself in the music. There were so many examples of love around her. Knowing what it felt like to truly love a partner, she recognized it in Fitz and Moira, her friends Grace and Henry, and in the newlywedded Elise and Reid. Wondering if she would ever experience such a feeling again, an unbidden image of Sidney flashed through her mind. Feeling her cheeks warm at the thought, Angeline turned to leave, but Moira caught sight of her before she could.
Abruptly stopping the song, Moira asked, “Did she go down alright?”
“Yes, after three stories,” Angeline replied with a chuckle.
“That does sound like our girl. You are so good with her, and she loves having her Auntie Angie around.” Moira offered a smile. “Would you like to join Fitz and I for a drink?”
