“I was so happy to learn you would be attending the wedding,” she said, still clinging to his arm. “I’m at the end of the hall on the third floor. Why don’t you join me there this evening? I did so enjoy our time together before, and I could use your special brand of satisfaction this evening.”
Shuddering away from her touch, Sidney looked up to see Angeline eyeing the two of them from across the room, curiosity in her gaze. Knowing without a doubt that she was the only woman in the room he held any interest in, he shook the widow off him, feeling cheapened by her touch.
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible, but I do hope you enjoy yourself at the wedding,” Sidney said politely before turning to find any available friend to keep him occupied and away from such situations.
Looking around the room for Fitz or Henry, Sidney was chagrinned to see there were a few other past lovers in attendance, and more than one of them were eyeing him appreciatively. It was his own fault. After coming out of mourning for his father and realizing he had lost Angeline in the meantime, he’d not reacted in the healthiest manner. Trying to keep the pain suppressed, Sidney had become a bit wild in the intervening years and attempted to lose himself, keeping his thoughts distracted by having as much fun as possible with a string of dalliances. As a second son with a married brother, he felt freer to spread his wings and explore life away from the family estate. His brother would produce his own heir, making Sidney even less necessary, so he did not feel guilty for his foolhardy behavior, losing himself in drink and women from time to time to try and forget Angeline. But in the end, it didn’t make him feel better, and he never forgot that the woman he loved found happiness with another man.
After years of trying to drown out his feelings, the time spent in debauchery began to grow stale and life felt wholly unsatisfying. The women and the whisky meant to fill the empty void in his chest fell short, and he was left still feeling exposed and hollow, his usual tricks not easing the ache any longer. Sidney had already started to pull away from the empty indulgences, determined to find a new purpose for his life, when he learned Phillip had died. His heart ached for Angeline, knowing how much she genuinely loved him and understanding how hard it was to live without the one you loved beside you. But hearing the news, he was also hopeful that he and Angie could have a future together after all, and he hated himself for having the thought. Regardless, the idea had planted itself firmly in his mind, and Sidney spent the next two years trying to make himself into the best man he could be, one worthy of Angeline.
Over the past few days, he’d started to believe that he might have another chance with her if he took his time and eased back into their friendship first. He just hoped he could make it through the rest of the wedding events without the other ladies foiling his plans.
CHAPTER5
“I’m so happy for you,” Angeline whispered to the bride while fighting the tears that were stinging the back of her eyes. Releasing her hold of Elise, now the Countess of Weston, she quickly made her way out of the room, trying to avoid the embarrassment of breaking down in front of the other wedding guests. Up until now she had been able to pass off the telltale sheen in her eyes as happy tears, not unheard of on such occasions, but Angeline felt her resilience beginning to falter after suppressing her emotions all day.
Moving quickly, she passed the other guests without acknowledgment on her way to the balcony and gulped in the fresh sea air as she tried to calm herself, managing to keep the tears at bay for the moment.
Weddings were always difficult events, but after being with everyone this past week, Angeline thought she was prepared to handle this one, being genuinely thrilled that Reid and Elise had found such love and happiness with one another. But the beautiful service unnerved her.
Feeling more stable now that she had a moment to herself and could finally let her guard down, Angeline leaned against the stone railing of the balcony and took in the sight of the sea surrounding her. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the breeze off the water. The gust was chillier than it had been for the past several days, and the bite heralded the promise of autumn.
Hearing a door open, she turned to see Sidney following her out. Although she hadn’t wished for company, Angeline felt comforted by his presence and didn’t mind when he strode forward to stand next to her.
Brow furrowed in concern, he asked, “Are you well? I saw you leave rather quickly, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
“I’m fine,” she assured him, touched by his attentiveness. “It’s just been a full day and I needed a moment to clear my head.”
She suspected he didn’t quite believe her based on how he was studying her, but after a moment, he nodded, and the intensity of his gaze softened. Sidney had known her long enough to understand that he shouldn’t push her and to just be there as a friend. Standing next to her, looking out at the waves, he didn’t say a word.
“It was a lovely wedding,” she offered after a moment. “They seem truly happy together, and I’m so glad Elise’s reputation was able to be repaired.”
Sidney chuckled while looking at the stretch of rocks and sand below them. “Reid would have married her regardless. I walked along that very beach with him when he came up with the plan to restore her name,” he shared while gesturing to the coastline. “He was devastated at the thought he might lose her due to the ridiculous ideas of theton. I’ve never seen Reid so distraught. It’s amazing how love can change someone whom you think you know so well.”
“Yes,” Angeline agreed quietly. “Love can certainly make one feel and act in ways they did not think themselves capable of.” She fought back her tears once more as they threatened an appearance, Sidney’s words reminding her of how differently she had felt when she first fell for Phillip.
“I’m sorry,” Sidney said, frowning slightly as he noticed her downcast state. “I’m sure days like today cannot always be easy for you.”
“It can be difficult to keep the memories at bay sometimes. I am so truly happy for Elise and Reid, but seeing such happiness can sometimes be a reminder of what I once had and what is now missing.”
“Angie, you must have things in your life that still bring you joy,” Sidney said. “It would break my heart if I thought you didn’t have some happiness of your own.”
“I do,” she rushed to reassure him. “I have Fitz and Moira and my sweet niece and nephew. And good friends,” she added, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. “I did not mean to sound so despondent—I promise I am well. Some days are just harder than others.”
“And today is a hard day.” Sidney said it as a statement, but his eyes made it seem like a question as he peered at her intently.
“In part, but it is also one filled with joy.” Angeline gave him a smile so he wouldn’t continue to worry about her, and it was easy to do because she spoke the truth.
“And do you think dancing might bring you joy?” Sidney asked with a smirk. “The band has just started up and a few brave souls have begun dancing before dinner is to commence. Would you care to join me?” He extended a hand to her with an exaggerated bow, succeeding in making her laugh, successfully shaking off the dour mood which had temporarily overtaken her.
“Such a gentleman, I would be honored.” Angeline took his hand and followed him into the ballroom, once again feeling tingles shoot up her arm from the contact. As they walked toward the dance floor, she could feel the eyes of more than one woman trailing them, many looking envious that she was the one who currently held Sidney’s attention.
“I think we are causing a bit of a stir,” she whispered to Sidney as he pulled her into his arms, setting the frame for the waltz that was just beginning. “Several women here are wondering what on earth you’re doing dancing with me of all people.”
“And why wouldn’t I want to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room?” he said, looking at her intently. Angeline knew that was the kind of answer any charming gentleman would say in such a situation, but the light in his eyes made her feel like he truly meant the sentiment. Thinking he could be sincere; a shiver went up her spine. Sidney pulled her closer, mistaking her tremor for being cold, and she reveled in the feeling of being held once more.
Testing the boundaries of the situation, Angeline couldn’t help but press a bit more and see how Sidney would react. “You flatter me, but that’s hardly the case. There are several beautiful and, I dare say, more engaging women here who seem to desire your attention.” She was not naive. She knew Sidney had developed a reputation over the years, though rumors of his womanizing tendencies had slowed considerably since he took office. Angeline was almost certain that he’d had an affair with at least one of the women staring them down.
“Angie, I have always found you enchanting, and I promise there is no one else I would rather be with right now.”
