“I don’t regret it either.” For the first time since beginning her tale, she gave him a real smile. But there was one more thing she needed to clarify. “I hope this also helps you understand once and for all that I truly cannot be your wife. It’s not just that I’ve been unable to have children in the past, it’s that I can no longer even try. I will never be able to provide you with the heir you need, so you must let go of the idea of us together. You need to find someone to wed.”
Sidney looked positively stricken, but Angeline thought she finally saw flickers of acceptance in him as well. Even though it broke her heart that they had to walk away from each other again, it was for the best. “I don’t know how to let you go, Angie.”
“I’ll always be in your life as a friend, Sidney. It may be hard for us to adjust at first, but I can’t picture the future without you in it. You’ve been an important person to me my entire life, and this doesn’t change that.”
CHAPTER33
Sidney had been away from Ravenswood for three months, and after the conversation with Angeline provided additional understanding, he felt ready to leave Reid’s estate and return home. Walking toward the coast from the dower house, he spotted Reid already waiting for him for a final beach walk together.
Upon seeing him, a grin split Reid’s face. “You look good, Sid,” he said slapping him on the back. “All packed up and ready to go?”
“I’m ready. It’s bit nerve-wracking, as I know I caused so much harm before I left. It’s not easy to face those who saw me at my worst.”
“You’ve already repaired things as much as possible with Angeline, so you must mean Hazel,” Reid stated, never one to mince words.
Sighing, Sidney nodded. “Among others, but yes. I hate that I ever made her feel alone, but I’m glad she turned to Angie.”
“We’re all really proud of you, you know,” Reid said softly.
Shaking his head, Sidney scoffed. “You shouldn’t have to be proud of me, I never should have fallen apart in the first place.”
“Sid, you need to be more forgiving of yourself. No one thinks less of you because of what happened. You were dealt multiple blows within the span of a week, no one could come through all that unscathed.”
Sidney wasn’t aware how much he’d needed to hear that. It didn’t excuse any of his behavior, but it was still comforting to know that the people who mattered the most to him were understanding of the situation. The pain of Nick’s loss was still very much present, but he was no longer in denial that he was gone and that life was now radically different for him and Hazel. After talking with his friends and working with Jonathan around the estate, he had a renewed interest in his own and was looking forward to engaging with his land manager as soon as he reached Ravenswood.
“I should probably be on my way,” Sidney said. “I need to make a stop in London.” The two men turned back, neither saying much on the return, but it was a companionable silence. “I can’t ever thank you enough,” he told Reid when they arrived at the dower house. “I showed up unannounced and a mess, and you didn’t hesitate to welcome me and do everything you could to bring me back to my health.”
“It’s what friends do,” Reid said simply, bringing Sidney in for an embrace. Slapping him on the back, Reid released him. “Safe travels,” he said before cheekily adding, “I’ll kiss Elise goodbye for you if you give Angeline one for me.”
* * *
Stopping briefly in London on his second day of travel, Sidney had arranged to meet Hugh Stanton. The lawyer stood as he entered the law offices and greeted him warmly, extending his hand for a vigorous handshake. “Lord Hasting, it’s good to see you. What brings you in today?”
“A few things actually,” Sidney said, sitting down in the comfortable office. “I need to apologize for disappearing after Lord Weston first introduced us over the marriage contract business. I’ve been away for a while, but I wanted to update you on where things stand.” Sidney filled Stanton in on what had transpired with Lady Effie three months prior, and the lawyer was appropriately horrified. “I’ve not heard from her since, but as I mentioned, I was away. I’m hoping that nothing official has come through the legal system.”
“Thankfully, no,” Stanton reassured him. “If the issue ever does arise, I’ve completed extensive research into precedents and feel confident that I have prepared the arguments necessary to make sure everything comes out in your favor. I’ll also document what you’ve just told me and be sure to keep it on file in case Lady Effie ever becomes an issue again.”
“I can’t thank you enough,” Sidney said sincerely. “And that is why I would like to make you my lawyer officially and ask you to look into another matter for me.”
Smiling, Stanton affirmed he would be happy to have Sidney’s business. “What is this other matter you mentioned? How can I help?”
“I’d like you to find out who my heir is,” Sidney said. “My father and grandfather were only sons, so it will be necessary to go back a few branches on the family tree to find the next closest male relative who could inherit from me.”
“Of course, but when you were here before, you mentioned a woman you planned to marry. It’s possible you might soon have your own heir.”
“That’s where things get a bit complicated,” Sidney said, squirming in his seat. “The woman I love is a widow and was unable to bear any children in her previous eight-year marriage.”
“Ah, I see,” Stanton said without judgment.
“The fact that she doesn’t have children is well known, and she believes she cannot marry me, as she’s been told she should not try for another child. I’d like to find the current heir and bring him to Ravenswood to teach him about the estate. I believe this will help her feel comfortable in agreeing to marry me, and it will help make known that I do have an heir who has my full backing should anyone challenge a union between Angeline and I.”
“You’re concerned an announced engagement between the two of you might bring Lady Effie back with her claim?” Stanton astutely asked.
“I must admit that the thought has crossed my mind,” Sidney said.
“I’ll get to work on this right away, and I’ll be in touch.” With a final handshake, Sidney took a deep breath and prayed his heir could be found soon.
* * *
