“Nothing specific. But he’s been very attentive and supportive, and I feel like I’ve picked up on something in the way he looks at me from time to time.” Not to mention the way he’d kissed her, but Angeline didn’t want to bring that up with her brother.
“How are things different between you now from before?” Fitz’s brow was furrowed, showing the deep line above his nose that always appeared when he was concerned about something.
“I don’t know. We’ve always been friends, but it feels like that’s changing into something deeper since Elise’s wedding. After dinner the other evening, I told him I needed some space to make sense of how I was feeling,” Angeline said.
“And howareyou feeling?” Fitz let the question hang in the air as Angeline struggled to put her thoughts into the right words.
“I don’t know. I’m conflicted,” she answered truthfully. “In some ways it’s immensely flattering to know that the boy who once occupied so many of my thoughts and daydreams now may feel the same. It’s just eleven years and one husband too late.”
“I always knew you liked him when we were in school and university, but I wasn’t aware those feelings had lingered.”
“I’m not sure they ever fully went away, they just changed and were superseded,” Angeline mused aloud. “I feel like I’m just now starting to emerge from the shroud of grief I’ve been under, and with Phillip no longer consuming all the space in my heart, those feelings for Sidney are beginning to peek back through.”
Fitz stared at her. “Well, that was profound.”
Reaching over, Angeline smacked the side of her brother’s head. “Don’t tease me, I’m struggling. I don’t know what I’m doing or feeling, and I have no idea how to explain it.”
Seeing her distress, he immediately turned serious. “I’m sorry Angie. I’m not trying to make light of the situation. If you do think there could be something with him, why not pursue it? No one would be happier than me to see you in love again.”
Fitz really was the best brother Angeline could ask for. He’d always acted as her protector growing up and had been thrilled for her when she fell in love with Phillip. She knew he would support her no matter what she did, and in a way, that added to her worries. Sidney was one of Fitz’s best friends, and they’d known each other their whole lives. What if she decided to try and make a relationship with Sidney work, only to have it fall apart because she couldn’t handle it? She knew without a doubt that Fitz would stand by her, and the last thing she would ever want is to cause a rift in their friendship.
“Recently I’ve begun to wonder if I would be truly happy living the rest of my life alone,” Angeline admitted. “It still feels foreign to think about a life with anyone other than Phillip, but I’m also not sure living here with all of you will be enough to fulfill me long term.”
“I can understand that. I know how much you enjoy being here with the children, and you’ll always be a part of the family and welcome with us, but it’s not the same, is it?” Fitz asked. Shaking her head, Angeline felt terrible affirming that life alongside her brother’s family would never be quite enough. She needed something, or someone, for herself. “Then why not explore the possibilities with Sidney? If you both care for one another, what is making you hesitate?”
“There’s too much at stake. What if I tell Sidney I’m ready to explore what we could be to one another, and then I can’t handle it? I could hurt him. It could also ruin one of the most important friendships to both of us.” Angeline hated feeling so insecure.
“Please don’t worry about me, Angie,” Fitz said. “I would hate if your concern for me prevented you from exploring something that could be so good for you. I actually like the idea of you and Sidney together. I know he’s been a bit wild and indulgent in the past, but he’s one of the best people I know. And he’s been working hard to change his reputation and make a name for himself.”
“Thank you for that,” Angeline said, reaching to take her brother’s hand. “But you know I’m going to worry about the possible repercussions regardless. I’m tired of feeling miserable, and it makes me hesitate to move forward if it could cause upset to anyone.”
“He’d be lucky to have you,” Fitz replied, squeezing her hand back. “I think you just need to have an honest conversation with him. Only the two of you can decide what is best.”
Standing, Angeline moved toward Fitz and leaned down to hug him. “I love you. You really are the best brother.”
Wrapping his arms around her and returning the embrace, Fitz cockily replied, “I know.”
CHAPTER13
Walking the grounds around Ravenswood with Nick, Sidney was distracted. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” he asked his brother.
Sighing, Nick repeated, “I asked if you thought I should start thinning out some of the trees and selling them for lumber, but I give up. You’re not listening to me at all, are you?”
Sidney rubbed his eyes, grunting in assent before apologizing. “Sorry, Nick. I’m listening, I promise.”
“No, you’re not. But that’s alright. Does this have anything to do with Angeline?”
“Yes,” Sidney admitted. “I feel like we’ve been growing closer over the past few weeks, but she’s confused about what she wants for her future. When we had dinner at Fitz’s a few days ago, she asked for some space to sort out her feelings.”
Nick let out a long whistle. “And what did you say?”
“What do you think I said? I agreed, of course. I value and respect her and don’t want to ruin my relationship with her. Yes, I would like more with her, but she needs to decide what she wants for herself.” Sidney knew he should be honest with Angeline about his long-standing feelings for her, but he worried she wasn’t yet ready for the intensity of what he felt, and he was scared it would make her bolt if she knew everything.
“But now you’re sitting here agonizing over what she may decide, aren’t you?” Nick asked.
“Of course I am, what do you think?” Sidney exclaimed. “But I don’t want to dwell on it until I’ve had a chance to talk with her again, so please, distract me.”
Continuing their walk, Nick pointed out changes he had made to the estate since Sidney’s last visit. Explaining the updates that were slowly happening to the main house as well as other buildings and structures on the grounds. Bit by bit, everything was being refurbished.
