CHAPTER11
Eventually the meal was called, and the children’s governess took them away for their dinner while the adults filed into the dining room. An excellent menu was presented, but Angeline was too distracted to really appreciate the food.
“Are you well?” Sidney asked her, leaning over and whispering in her ear. His breath on her neck made her shiver. “You are hardly eating, and from what I recall, you have always loved well-prepared food.”
His face was still close as she turned toward him, and she fought to keep her hand on her fork rather than tracing a line through the freckles on his cheek. “Yes, I am well. Just a bit distracted this evening with new company in the house.”
With her answer, he leaned back and began eating again. But it seemed like his chair was a bit closer than it had been before, and Angeline was aware of his presence beside her throughout the remainder of the meal. At one point he looked over at her and smiled while squeezing her elbow, as if to reassure her.
A little later, the women retreated and left the men to their port and cigars. Sitting in the drawing room, both Lady Davenport and Lady Effie wanted to gossip and quickly turned to Angeline to learn more.
“I understand that you are also a widow,” Lady Effie said to her. “How long ago did you lose your husband?”
“A little over two years ago,” Angeline replied. “Early in the summer of eighteen.”
“And you have not thought of remarrying?” asked Lady Davenport.
“No, not really.” Angeline was hardly about to share with these women that very recently her mind had begun to turn to such thoughts. “I loved my husband very much and my grief over losing him was deep. I’ve only now left his estate and moved here with my brother.”
“You are still young enough, you’ll find someone else sooner rather than later,” Lady Davenport said dismissively.
“What about Hasting?” Lady Effie said with feigned innocence. “Growing up next door, you must have known him for a long time. Surely he makes an enticing prospect.”
“I’m afraid I’ve never considered such a thing. He’s always seemed like another older brother to me.” Angeline certainly did not feel that way about his younger brother, but Sidney was another matter entirely.
Continuing her interrogation, Lady Effie asked, “How long were you married to Lord Eastland?”
“Eight years,” she replied succinctly.
“Eight years!” Ephegenia exclaimed. “And no children?”
Now seething, Angeline bit out, “No, no children. If you will excuse me.” She’d had enough. Angeline wasn’t going to let these women continue interrogating her and make her detail the painful struggle to conceive and hold onto a pregnancy. Quickly exiting the room, she wandered blindly down the hallway and nearly stumbled into Sidney. Without thinking, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the nearest room.
As the door closed, she pushed him against the wall and threw herself at him.
* * *
Sidney didn’t know what had come over Angeline, but he wasn’t going to question it. Wrapping his arms around her, he returned her passionate kiss. Something had fired her up, and Angeline was practically devouring him. Her hands clutched at his waistcoat, and one snuck up to the nape of his neck, sinking into his hair. He knew she had been off all night, but now there was a sense of desperation about her as well.
As she pulled back slightly for some much-needed air, common sense briefly returned to Sidney and he moved her further, allowing more space between them. His movement seemed to break her trance, and Angeline backed away.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. I was upset and I shouldn’t have used you that way.”
“Darling, you can use me any time you would like, but are you alright?” he asked. Angeline’s hands were now covering her face and she was shaking her head. Sidney stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, but this time he simply held her until she was ready to tell him what was bothering her.
“I really don’t like those women,” she said quietly, but with conviction. Before he could stop himself, Sidney laughed. “It’s not funny,” she said, hitting his arm. “They are odious gossips and I’m not sure what Nick is thinking.”
“Unfortunately, neither am I. What happened?” She nestled a bit closer into his chest and he tipped his chin down to kiss the top of her head.
“I’m probably being oversensitive. They were just asking questions trying to get to know me better. Some of the questions were a bit personal and hit a little too close.” Angeline pulled away and walked toward the window, wrapping her arms around herself. He had to strain to hear what she said next as she was speaking so low. “They seemed shocked that after eight years of marriage I didn’t have any children.”
Bloody hell.Sidney knew how desperately Angeline had wanted children, and she would be an excellent mother. Earlier in the evening, he’d almost forgotten himself and nearly ran across the room to kiss her after watching how she handled Lady Effie and read to the children. When Hazel curled up into her after only knowing her for an hour, he’d thought his heart might burst.
How dare those women bring up such a delicate subject. After losing his sister-in-law due to complications from a lost pregnancy, Sidney had learned never to ask about children or when people might be expecting. You never knew what kind of hurt they could be experiencing. Unfortunately, with the way the aristocracy worked, lineage and the begetting of heirs was an obsession for many, and the topic was often given undue weight and discussed as gossip.
“I’m sorry.” It was all he could think to say, not knowing what else would be fitting or appropriate in the moment.
“I’m alright, it’s just that I was already on edge and all the questions broke me.” She turned around to face him again but stayed on the other side of the room. “I’m so embarrassed I attacked you like that. I don’t know what came over me. I just . . . I needed to feel better, and you make me feel better.”
