“Child, what is the matter with you!” Aunt Hester exclaimed.
Ignoring the dowager, she turned her full attention to their guest. “Lord Camden, did you eat any of the fish?” she asked with a note of desperation in her voice.
“I only managed one bite before you so rudely yelled at all of us,” he said in a huff.
“Grace, what’s wrong?” Henry said, looking at her with concern.
Noticing that Camden’s face was starting to bloom mottled splotches, she frantically turned to the footman who was serving that evening. “Simon, what did Mrs. Nelson tell you was the main course this evening?”
Bewildered, the footman answered, “Trout almondine, Your Grace.”
“Almonds!” Camden spat through slightly labored breathing. “Are you trying to poison me, you witch?”
Everyone began to speak at once. Henry raged at Camden for daring to speak to her in such a manner, Camden was yelling about what a vile person she was as he clawed at his collar, and Aunt Hester demanded to know what was going on.
“Enough!” Grace yelled, surprising even herself and bringing all others to a stop. “Lord Camden is allergic to nuts. Simon, I need you to go and fetch the nearest doctor as fast as you can. Henry, let’s help him up to his room.”
Chaos reigned, but in a matter of seconds everyone snapped into action. Hearing the commotion, Standish entered the dining room and assisted Henry with getting Lord Camden upstairs. Grace followed them up once she had obtained the medical supplies Mrs. Green kept on hand. Slightly wheezing and covered in a rash, Lord Camden certainly did not look well. But having ingested so little of the food, and considering he’d been yelling for the past hour while waiting for the doctor, Grace did not believe his life was in danger.
The doctor confirmed as much when he arrived and made Camden more comfortable with a cream for his rash and a breathing treatment. After a few hours, Camden fell asleep and the doctor left, telling them to keep an eye on him overnight and repeat the breathing treatment if necessary. Grace went into the hallway, and finally having a moment to relax, covered her face with her hands before sinking to the floor, lacking the energy to move. Henry and Standish appeared a moment later, and the second the door was fully closed, Henry turned to confront the butler.
“How on earth did this happen?” Henry whispered angrily. Standish recoiled at the look of rage on Henry’s face, and even Grace was a bit intimidated, not used to seeing him so riled. “I specifically heard Her Grace instruct Mrs. Nelsen this morning that she was to serve the trout with lemon sauce. Why was the menu changed without consulting her? That is the standard procedure, is it not?”
Standish, quickly replacing his mask of placidity that all good butlers possess, answered him calmly. “Your Grace, Mrs. Nelsen informed me this afternoon that she did not have enough lemons and needed to make a change to the main course. She proposed trout almondine and asked me to get approval for the change, as Mrs. Green was away at the time.”
“You never came to me for approval, Standish.” Grace spoke up from her position on the floor, startling the men who had been too preoccupied to notice her. “I never would have approved the dish, as I knew of Lord Camden’s sensitivity,” she said, appalled by the communication breakdown.
“I obtained approval for the change from the dowager duchess, Your Grace,” Standish replied in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Why on earth did you go to my aunt rather than Her Grace?” Henry asked, seething.
Standish, not comprehending the issue, calmly said, “The Dowager has more experience entertaining, Your Grace. I trusted she would know what an appropriate meal would be to represent a ducal household to our guest.”
Grace felt her heart shatter at Standish’s answer. It was her worst fears come to fruition in what could have been a life-threatening situation. Neither Standish nor the dowager trusted Grace to do what was best for Henry, or to not disgrace the title. If the people closest to Henry could not support her, then no one else would either.
“That is all for tonight, Standish. We will continue this conversation tomorrow. You are dismissed,” Henry said. With a bow, Standish walked away.
“Are you alright?” Henry asked as he knelt beside her. His anger seemed to have dissipated with Standish’s retreat, and he now had nothing but concern in his eyes as he looked at her. Unable to speak, she simply nodded. “I know that was quite the evening. Come, let’s go to our room. We’ll be alerted if anything else is needed for Camden.” He stood and helped her to her feet.
Grace couldn’t bring herself to say anything as they entered Henry’s bedchamber. She had a lump in her throat and was trying to prevent herself from breaking down into tears. She knew what she needed to do. There was no question anymore; the events of this evening made it crystal clear that she would not be able to overcome her shortcomings and support Henry in the way he needed. No one would ever respect her as a duchess, and she would hinder his ability to make the changes so many were counting on for their livelihoods. As much as it would break her heart, now that she had finally found love after missing it for so long, she had to leave him.
Grace watched as Henry began to unbutton his waistcoat, beginning preparations for bed and not bothering to call Smyth at such a late hour. She stood there, unable to do anything other than look at him and drink him in, trying to memorize the details of his face and his form. He was so beautiful that it made her heart ache, and before she could stop it, a tear rolled down her cheek.
A moment later, noticing she had not moved, Henry looked up at her. Seeing she was frozen just inside the door, he made his way back toward her and rubbed his hands up and down her arms in a comforting gesture. “Hey,” he said, dipping his head so he could look her in the eyes, “are you sure you’re alright, you haven’t said a thing.”
“No,” she told him. “I’m not alright.” She couldn’t stop the tears now and they began to flow down her face as the wall she had tried to erect, acting like a dam, failed behind the weight of her feelings. “Henry, this isn’t working. You have to let me go.”
CHAPTER35
Not understanding what Grace was trying to say, but stunned by the implication of her words, Henry tried to keep himself calm. “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”
He was scared to ask the question but thought it might be worse if he did not know for certain. He could not fight for what mattered to him, which was unequivocally her, if he did not fully understand what he was fighting for.
“We thought we would be able to make a marriage between us a success, but the events of this evening have only brought clarity to what I have been feeling for a few days now. We gambled too freely, and the cost is too high,” she said, trying to sound resolute. Horrified, he could see that she genuinely believed what she was saying.
“Tell it to me plainly,” he insisted, needing to be certain. “Are you saying you don’t want to be in this marriage anymore?” His voice cracked with pent up emotion after a trying evening, and he watched her wince as if physically pained by his question.
“What I’m saying is that I’m a liability to you,” she whispered, her eyes still closed.
