“No, I don’t,” he said firmly. “I think you were a woman indulging her desires.” He looked at her intently for a moment before gently asking, “Grace, when I first kissed you, you said that your late husband had never kissed you, and this morning you told me you had never seen him naked. Did you not feel passion in your first marriage?”
Sitting up a bit, Grace took a deep breath. “You already know that my marriage was not an entirely happy situation.” He nodded at her but remained quiet, allowing her to speak. “While my husband and I were married for six years before he died, I can count on two hands the number of times he came to my bed.” The heat of her ever-present blush warmed her cheeks at her admission, and she stared at her lap, playing with the sheet while continuing her tale. She knew she owed him more of an explanation for their relationship to progress, but she didn’t feel like she could share everything just yet.
“He was not rough with me, nor did he hurt me, but it was never a pleasant experience. He simply got down to business with nothing to prepare me for what was to come.” Henry took her hand without interrupting her, seeming to realize she needed to share her story in her own time. “His infrequent visits didn’t make sense, as he had told my cousin he was seeking a wife because he wanted an heir. There was one point where I thought I may have conceived, but if I did, it did not take and the baby never grew.” She paused for a minute, mourning the children she never had. “I always felt like something must be wrong with me, but I didn’t know what to do . . .” She took a minute to remind herself she now knew that not to be true, but that was a part of the story she was not yet ready to share, no matter how much she trusted Henry. “I’m sorry I don’t know what to expect, I’m sure I must be a disappointment to you.”
Henry kissed the top of her head, then said, “I want you to listen to what I have to say, and to really hear me. There is nothing wrong with you. You are completely lovable and desirable. Which is a problem because I am trying to be a gentleman when all I want to do is put my hands on you.” Hearing how much he desired her, she pressed her face into his chest, glad he could not see it as it reddened, and he tightened his hold on her.
“You are not wanton for following the desires of your body. It is not wrong to feel pleasure. I promise there is so much more to lovemaking than what you have experienced.” He kissed her head again and rubbed circles on her back before asking, “Is that why you asked to wait to make consummate our marriage? Because you thought it would be uncomfortable, or you thought I would be disappointed?”
“Yes,” she said into his chest. “I thought maybe some of the uncomfortableness had stemmed from never really knowing him. I thought that if I could learn more of who you were, I might not be so intimidated when it came down to it. I suppose I must seem rather naïve and foolish to you.”
“No, you are not, and I promise you can never disappoint me. Don’t be scared of the things you feel, they are natural, and you should follow your pleasure. Doing so does not make you wanton, and I will not think less of you for it. The fact that you are so passionate only makes you more attractive and desirable to me. Remember when I told you things mean more when the other person wants it as well?” She nodded into his chest. “The same applies here. Lovemaking is better when both people are fully enjoying themselves. Please don’t hold back from me.”
Feeling secure enough, she pulled back enough to be able to see his face. “I’ll try not to, but just like with adjusting to my role of duchess, please be patient with me.”
“Always,” he said, lightly grabbing her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye. “We can go at the pace you feel comfortable with, I won’t rush you. Just be open to how you feel.”
CHAPTER28
The next two weeks were busy as Henry and Grace settled into life together at Highland Manor. Most of the staff had immediately taken to Grace just as Henry had predicted, though he heard Standish grumbling about changes from time to time. For his part, Henry either did not notice the changes or thought they were an improvement, and it made him happy to see Grace growing in confidence as she took the reins. At Grace’s insistence, he also took her around the estate so she could see the farms and meet the tenants. Every few days she would make her way to another part of the grounds to spend time with the occupants and bring them treats and supplies.
As for the intimate side of their relationship, things had only improved since the talk they had about her previous experience. It had taken two weeks to replace her window, and during that time, Grace remained in his room until the repairs could be completed. They used the time to become more comfortable with each other, and Henry loved nothing more than holding her in his arms. She seemed to fit there perfectly, as if she had always belonged, just as he had felt the very first time he had picked her up at Geffen House. While their explorations of one another had remained relatively tame, being with her was incendiary, and she now felt bold enough to initiate kissing him regularly. Last night, with the window fixed, she had returned to her own bed and he had missed her terribly.
Henry was slowly becoming more comfortable within his own skin and the idea of being a duke. While it had been just over a year, finally settling into the manor without the blanket of shock and grief hanging over it, it was all starting to feel real. Settling into his study, he took up that morning’s newspaper to read about the political strife in London. Tensions were mounting between the classes as Reid had predicted, and he feared things might get out of hand if concessions could not be reached in the next Parliamentary session, making his seat in the House of Lords feel even more significant. It was the last major step Henry needed to take in terms of duties of his title, and he keenly felt the responsibility of sitting in that chamber.
A knock sounded on the study door, and he looked up from the paper to see Grace standing in the doorway. “Well, aren’t you a beautiful sight,” he said, causing her to blush as she smiled at him. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be in the garden most of the day, should you need me. We’re planning and planting for the kitchen garden and preparing for fall produce.” He was glad to see that she looked at ease and seemed to enjoy being an active presence in the household. Most of the staff had had taken to her leadership well and were excited about the subtle changes she was making to operations, allowing things to run more smoothly. Standish, always a traditionalist as he had been brought up to run things under the tutelage of his aunt, was having a bit more difficulty adjusting. He seemed to view the changes Grace was implementing as a personal affront, but like the good servant he was, he complied with her requests, though he did so with a stiffness and occasional frown of disapproval.
“Enjoy your time digging in the dirt, my dear,” he teased. “I shall miss you while you are away.”
“Well, we can’t have that. I’ll just have to leave you something to remember me by,” Grace said as she walked over to him and grasping his face in her delicate hands, placed a sweet kiss on his lips. Henry gave himself over to the kiss and reveled in the new boldness he was seeing come to life in her. “I’ll see you later,” she said, now shy again, before releasing his face. Watching as she left the room, Henry marveled at his luck.
* * *
Stretching to loosen his muscles after being hunched over ledgers for hours, Henry decided to go and find his wife, anxious to see how her project was turning out. Making his way to the back of the house, he was startled to hear raised voices. Henry became even more alarmed when he recognized one of those voices as Grace’s. Hurrying forward, he found Grace, Standish, Mrs. Green, and two young men, all in a heated discussion. He recognized one of the men as a gardener and the other was in the livery of a footman.
Not yet able to tell what was going on, he tried to pick up on cues before inserting himself into the situation. Mrs. Green stood off to the side between the young men whose heads were lowered while Standish and Grace were having a heated argument, his face a purple hue as she gesticulated wildly. The footman in particular seemed to be distressed, though not directly involved in the argument. That was strictly being waged between Standish and his wife. While Grace’s back was to him, he could tell she was clearly agitated by the ridged stance she held. And used to Standish as a generally placid man, Henry wasn’t sure he had ever seen him so animated.
“They cannot remain in employment, it is simply disgraceful,” Standish spat.
“And I’m telling you that they should not lose their place over this, they have done nothing wrong” Grace returned forcefully. At Standish’s continued blustering, she continued. “Tell me, have they been neglectful in performing their duties? Have you found their work to be subpar? Because if not, then they should not be let go.”
Henry had never seen Grace so worked up before, and he wanted to support her if at all possible. “What’s going on? Whatever has happened?” he asked as he stepped forward, using the commanding tone of his army years.
“Your Grace,” Standish spluttered, “please inform your wife that we have a code of conduct that we expect all staff to follow, otherwise they understand they will be terminated.”
Glaring at the butler for insinuating he should tell Grace what to do, Henry turned toward the housekeeper. “Mrs. Green, you seem to have a cool head at the moment, perhaps you can enlighten me to what has happened?”
“Of course, Your Grace,” she said while giving a slight bow. “I was not directly involved, but it seems that Standish came across these two young men in an intimate embrace.”
“They were kissing in plain sight, it’s not right!” Standish exploded.
“I would hardly call their private quarters to be in plain sight, Standish,” Grace retorted. “You stumbled upon a private moment when you entered their personal quarters unannounced. Honestly, I would say you were the one who broke rules of conduct by entering their space without permission.”
“How and where I found them does not matter,” Standish retorted. “What they were doing is still wrong, and they should not be allowed to remain working for this household.”
Henry saw the footman flinch out of embarrassment while the gardener maintained a blank face, trying to seem unaffected by the shouting around them.
